Photos on FB

When my three grandchildren were small I always referred to them as my tots to their parents

Nothing wrong with saying "my". If that is all there is to be miffed about with her, then you are lucky

Not at all! My daughter refers to "her boys."

I sometimes say I am going to see my "little boys". I have no thoughts of owning them whatsoever. That is just a turn of phrase for me.

I tend to go into DDs and ask where is my "great big boy" (3yrs). It's to distinguish him from his baby brother. It's just a game.

I don't see anything wrong with the DIL saying "my boys". I think its been over analysed too much, my daughter posts on Facebook, pictures of " her girls", but its usually when she has taken the girls out for a while to the park or friends ,so her dear hubby can decorate, etc , she also posts pictures of the whole family when they are out together.

I post pictures all the time of my daughters with the title of 'my girls' because they are MY girls.
If my husband chooses to upload any pictures of HIS daughters on his facebook then he would put 'MY girls'
If we had a joint facebook if would be 'OUR girls'

Its facebook. It's not really important.

I always refer to my sons as " my boys" not our boys if I'm talking about them but if I was with their father and meeting new people I would say our boys. It's just a term of endearment

When talking to my husband about our son, "l often refer to him as "my boy" he never gets miffed and we don't have any problem in our relationship!

Definitely you I'm afraid. You must have an idyllic life if this is the only sort of thing you have to worry about. I still refer to the adult children as "my two" - their dad is still my husband after 35 years & he'd never think this was odd, although if we were talking to others together, it'd probably be "our two" .

BTW I never ever put picture of our GC on our FB- it is their choice to post or not- and of course they choose a limited audience for them on FB.

i agree totally with merlotgran! I love seeing pics of the children and grandchildren on Fb and I even put some up myself but always ask permission - we never put full names. They only go to our 'friends' which in my case is mainly family

This happens with my DIL too but I just see it as her immense pride and love for the boys and she cannot be faulted in any way as a Mum. I think it's a case of old habits .... If we are going to visit either of our children I tend to say "we are going to R...'s or D....'s today" and their in laws say the same using their offspring's names. Society is becoming far too sensitive these days and political correctness has become an absolute nonsense.

Also I often refer to them as my grandchildren if my husband isnt there. My DiL has put pics upnof her husband (my, sorry, our son) and her and called it 'my boys' i think its lovely.

I have always referred to my two DGD as 'my babies' they are 13 and 10 now but are still 'my babies' and neither my DD or anyone else in the family have a problem with it - why would they? there can never be too much love

My DD would soon put me right if I referred to DGS as 'my boy' and I understand why. As she says, he's not my second chance at parenting! I secretly think of him as mine, especially since I have looked after him every weekday since he was one year old, but I'm careful what I say - not because I don't want to cause trouble but because he really isn't my boy, he's his parents' boy and that's how it should be.

But DDIL has put photos of my son and their children on FB with the comment 'my boys' and I do know where the OP is coming from on this. I love the fact they are a family but I do (if I'm honest) feel a little pang that DS is not 'my boy' any more. He was my little boy for such a short time and I miss that time when they were small.

Actually, now I've typed that I'm not sure that's what the OP was getting at anyway

Unlike cupcake I think there can be too much love ..... one only has to read relationship threads to see the misery caused by that when it is allowed to run riot,, but I must admit to referring to my DDs when not within earshot of my OH as 'my daughter /daughters'. I realise it sounded a bit selfish, and thoughtless.My excuse? I was an only child with not a great sense of sharing, even after meeting my OH, even though I loved him dearly, and he was the rock of my adult life.
However, I never refer to my grandson as my boy (except in a jokey 'Tom and Jerry ' way). I love him to bits, but he is not mine. He is his own person firstly, and after that he is his mum and dad's 'boy'. IMO, anyway.

I'm sorry, but I think this thread is really weird and maybe a bit creepy. I can only think of a very few situations when I would say 'my son' etc and that would probably be introducing him to someone. I've looked back through all the family's fb pages and I can't find anywhere where 'my ...' has been used - names, or 'children', or occasionally 'no 1 son' etc. We don't possess people, we are lucky to have them in our lives - and I certainly would never dream of calling my grandchildren 'my boy' or 'my girl' except maybe in a very jokey way. They are not mine, and I think any parent would be within their rights to feel annoyed.

That's what i meant nightowl - DiL puts pic of her husband and sons and says 'my boys'. I think it's lovely though - Im glad they are still so happy together. Doesn't bother me a bit. Mind you when the other grandparents put pictures of the grandchildren and say ' Our lovely grandchildren' I do feel a bit miffed!!!

which is very wrong of me I know!

Why pollyperkins? Are they not allowed to have pleasure in their grandchildren as well?

I'd say, pick your battles. OK, maybe not battles but it does seem a pretty petty thing to get het up about. Once again, our grandchildren are just that. Their parents must decide between them what they feel is the right thing to do.

I talk about "my boys" or "my girl" when talking about my grandchildren, just as I did about my own children. Obviously they are not "mine", but it is an expression of endearment.

Sorry, yes URBU. In my book DIL can do no wrong and whatever she says on FB is fine with me.

I don't think there's anything weird about referring to a person as 'my son, daughter, grandchild etc'. Of course we don't own people but I see it as a way of recognising family links. But then I come from Yorkshire where all family members were referred to as 'our (insert name)'. I still refer to my cousins as 'our (name)'. I certainly don't think I own them nor do I want to! And I know I don't own my children but they will always be my babies.

My DD would soon put me right if I referred to DGS as 'my boy' and I understand why. As she says, he's not my second chance at parenting!

That sounds a bit harsh. I'd be upset if my DD said something like that to me.

I'm often mindful of the fact that one of the co-grannies is on my facebook page and it's important to avoid one upmanship.

Recently, one of the DGDs was praised for quick thinking when a friend was injured. I replied, 'That's my girl!' but thanks to the delete button was quickly able to change it to, 'Attagirl'

Your post here has given me food for thought.

There might well be legal issues concerned with posting pictures of others, particularly minors on public social media. My DH, who has been a publisher, is always pointing out that Facebook and other sites are not outside the remit of libel laws and they must be subject to other legislation concerning privacy and decency too. No one realises this as no one has yet had a high profile legal case.