Everything has gone to pot!

There comes a time when you have to stay in the house and do it. Busy working mums can't always manage that, so it gets left. It becomes a bit more of an issue when they are going to nursery school, so then it is worth giving it a couple of days of your time

When we were attempting to train my GD to use her potty, we bought a sheet of sticky stars and every time she used it successfully she got to stick a star on the potty. She loved it and took great pleasure in showing it to all and sundry. It worked very well for her. She was 22 months at the time.

My oldest trained very quickly walked talked and was potty trained by 1 year old the younger son took much longer and was more difficult so no to children are the same . They'll do it at a pace comfortable to them as forefathers I really didn't listen to them

There's nothing like waiting for the right moment. It can come quite suddenly . Both my children and GCs, at about 2and a half just decided 'no more nappies' and that was it. No stress or accidents.
Its a good point made by another poster that it was a different world when we had to wash nappies with all that that involved. Modern nappies and pull ups were a revelation!
I remember my Grandmother trying to get me to hold DD aged 6 months, over a potty!

It certainly is a competitive area of parenting! My DGD seems to be following my own children in that she is rather resistent to the whole idea, and looks quite worried if we suggest she uses her potty. She is very forward in other ways with a huge vocabulary and feeding herself very tidily with her little knife and fork.
My late MIL said that my eldest son was 'thick and stupid' because he was still in nappies at two and a half - what a terrible thing to say about your own grandchild! Anyway, some years later when he graduated with a first class honours degree, I couldn't help giving her a rather smug and superior look
I am quite sure that it's best to wait until your child is ready and let them toilet train in their own time - it saves a lot of stress.

Sorry if someone else has written the this before but children hiding to do a poo in their nappies is a normal stage in many children's toilet training. They will often hide behind a chair or similar, and in your case the broom cupboard. They will also wait until they have a nappy on, usually at night to do the poo.

It is as your GD said, she feels too small to sit on the potty and having all that brown stuff coming out of her is also frightening and puzzling.

One method some people find works is to cut a hole in a nappy and then sit the child on the potty or toilet. With a toilet you need a stool for the feet as it is not easy doing a poo with your feet just hanging down.

I sympathise with you about the 9 month toilet training, the babies are not trained but the mother learns that if she pots the baby after a meal it is very likely to poo or wee. Something in and something needs to come out. This goes all haywire as the child gets older and they have to learn to recognise the signal that they need to go and ask for the potty.

I think it helps in the summer if the child is allowed to run around outside and becomes aware of wetting on the ground not always easy if you don't have a garden. The modern nappies keep the child dry unlike the old towelling nappies so they are not aware of wetting

Remember Barbara Woodhouse, the dog woman? She claimed to have potty trained all her children by six months. Same techniques...

ajanela I agree, I think they feel they are losing something of themselves when they do a poo on the potty.

If they are trained by 6 months, it is the mother that is trained, not the child.

Love your comments, Pamish and Jalima, v funny!

We have two daughters and I waited until the summer (when the sun seemed to shine...) when they were each approximately two and a half. I removed those revolting saggy terry nappies and they ran around in the garden, quickly realising where the 'water' came from and trained themselves really.

One brief story: taking second daughter out for the first time without wearing a nappy - to the local sweetie shop. A pair of old biddies, probably younger than I am now, stood behind the long counter, gossiping.

They looked at us patiently waiting by the 1p sweets but studiously ignored us. My daughter told me she would need a wee soon, so I said in a loud voice 'don't worry, the ladies will be with us soon, darling' which only resulted in a further delay in which... well, you can guess and it jolly well served them right. I hope they enjoyed clearing up the puddle!

I also have two grandsons and their climb from nappies to not seems much slower than with the girls, so perhaps there is an anatomical reason - or they're just a bit slow!!

My daughter was nearly 3 when she was finally potty trained. She's 37 now and doesn't wet her pants anymore. well, unless she sneezes.

I think girls are dry earlier than boys as a general rule. It's a developmental thing but all babies are individuals. I suspect my daughter may well give potty training a go once my grandson turns two in December because there's another one due in March. She's sensible enough not to push it if he doesn't seem ready but it would be a huge help if he was reliably toilet trained when the new one arrives.

It is a problem of small families and only children. You'll find that most women with their 4th or 5th child just leave it and suddenly at at 3 yrs old or before he/she will be clean.

I went to the easy way as soon as I left England. I don't even know how old DD2 was. It was different when we were washing nappies and drying them on wet washdays but I never went in for that boasting.
As to the mothers who were boasting about their babies. Just wait and see! Those angels will soon be showing their mothers up, as children are actually not perfect even with perfect parents.
I feel sorry for the children.

I think there is a biological reason, some nerve endings, the signal for wanting to pass water takes longer to mature in different children, sometimes never, as there are adult bed wetters. For others the defecation seems a psychological battle, Freudian. Mostly not linked with intelligence. Reflex urination I understand can be trained, for instance put on a warmed nappy at the judged right time, never could judge it, in fact was rubbish at the toilet training. Much better with puppies though.

I left it until they were both 2, and it took about a week (for daytime) in both cases. There were nighttime nappies for quite a while afterwards - far preferable to wet beds IMO.

With dd1 I was living in a largely non Brit community where the non Brit mothers were telling me from when she was 12 months that I should be ditching the nappies. (They thought I was clueless about everything!).
One of them who lived next door had a child of exactly the same age, and they were both clean/dry in the daytime at about the same time. Only difference was, the other mother had an endless series of accidents and wet carpets for the preceding 12 months.

I had read somewhere that most children aren't physiologically ready till around 2, so it's a waste of time trying.

My DGS1 took ages but got the idea at 3& a half. One problem was that he gets so interested in what he is doing he often leaves it too late.
The 15mnth old is in his mums words too young to bother with at present.
I do wonder with the very young children if it's them or the carer who is being potty trained.

With DD when she was a bit over two. I started it by a book "potty training in a day". I put DD in pants kept filling her up with liquid and waited to see what happened. After several floods she was sitting in her high chair having tea and said wee wee as she peed and she seemed to suddenly understood what it was all about. There were a few accidents obviously but I think she had eventally associated the pee running down her legs with the feeling of a full bladder.

I was about to put up a post asking for some advice, DGS 4 1/2 has been clean since he was about 2 yrs 9 months, suddenly just when the school holiday began he stopped using the toilet for a poo. He gets an nappy puts it on poos and demands it taken off.
He is fine with everything else, and we are worried now that he is holding it in for long times as he sneaks off to do it.
We don't know if something happened at school and cannot ask at the moment.
We are not making a fuss about it, we tried hiding the old Pampers but he didn't go for 2 days.
He gets his full medical at the end of this month for re-starting school so DD will talk to his doctor then if it is still happening.
Anyone any sugesstions, all advice very gratefully recieved.

Reading all this has made me want to rush off and go myself!

I have no idea how my three got potty-trained. They must have done it themselves.

Flippancy aside, I hope someone can help felice.

Children can go to 'Maternelle'in France from the age of 2, as long as they are 'dry'. Both mine went at about 2 yrs 2 mths and all the other children in 'petite section' were about the same age. Don't know what method the French mothers used; mine was the run around the garden until the wee runs down your legs method.

I found the younger siblings in a family tend to potty train quicker as they want to be like their older brother/sister.....except for DGS3! He is now 3 and a half and after a few abortive attempts, DD has put him back in nappies. He is highly articulate, loves to copy his older sister and cousins but just refuses to cooperate. I have changed his nappy after about 3 hours and it is dry, so his bladder is holding it, but try to encourage using potty or toilet and there is a whole scene.

He has been at preschool for about 6 months a few days a week and in September will be starting full time. I thought he would have been inspired by seeing the other children go to the toilet, but no.

Personally I wouldn't have put him back in nappies but it is his mum's choice. She has to do the mopping up.

A poster earlier mentioned puppies. Mine trained in a few weeks by consistently putting her out every hour or so and making appropriate noises! She was 11 weeks old ?

Years later I asked my daughter who was very late in being toilet trained what was the reason why she said she was too interested in what she was doing to be bothered to physically go to the toilet or too comfortable in a warm bed. So perhaps being back in nappies is right for him now. If you are so engrossed in anything do we not all continue with bursting bladders to see it to the end? As daughter has four children she has had some easy ones and some fraught with difficulty, as mentioned before later maturing of the signals is part of the reason. When I was one of the team running a naval pre play group we used to offer every child a chance to go before we started, if a mother had other children under five we took from 2 onwards to give support, hard for you if husband was away at sea. Being 'dry' was a bit elastic.

felice your GS is young for full time school at 4 1/2, as in the UK the cut off date is the 1st Seotember. Is he perhaps at nursery? Or do you not live in the uk?

Personally, I'd remove nappies from where he can find them in the first place and see what happens. You might want to pre-warn him by telling him that was the last nappy he's just used.

Felice. Perhaps suggest your daughter uses a star chart and put a star up for every wee and poo in the loo. I know he is ok with wees but it would keep the emphasis off poos. So many stars can equate to a reward such as fun size chocolate or a little toy or playing a game he likes.

We live in Belguim where children can start Maternalle at 2 1/2, part of the Primary school system, Primary starts at 6 and leaving age is 18.
DGS started at 3 1/2 and loves it.
We have taken away all nappies and he held it in for nearly 3 days, not good at all, he then had the runs for 2 days.
Pee is fine and he is dry at night.
He says star charts are for babies, he had one when we were training.
Chrons Disease runs in DDs' paternal family, she has it but not too seriously, her Aunt has almost died from it and her grandfather.
We don't ask him if he is needing or obsess on it, just sort of bring it into the conversation, I have put the potty back out in my bathroom in case he wants to use that, and dd has put the child seat back on the toilet in his own bathroom upstairs, I live in the granny flat and during the holidays he is here as much as upstairs.
I think we just have to give it time and hope when he goes back to school in September he will settle down.

Ah that explains it felice

Anya you say 4 1/2 is young for full time school,. But with an August 30 birthday, DGD could be going at 4 years and 2 days.
Horrifies me too.