The worst grandmother in the world versus the Grandma in My Grandma is Amazing book

Dotmh please don't put up with talk like that from the 13 year old.

I so agree with you BlueBelle about DotMH's DGS - being 13 is bad enough for any boy let alone one who must be confused and emotionally bewildered by all the changes in his life. He's quite possibly horrified at the words that came out of his mouth and does not know how to rectify it. A smile or a squeeze of his hand as you pass and quietly telling him you love him worked wonders with my son when he was that age and I was a single parent. When you love someone it is easy to be hurt by their carelessness and none of us are perfect all the time.

Barmyoldbat. I love your response. I'm with you.
I don't have ice creams in the freezer. My granddaughter gets a milk shake, Chocolate buttons and a magazine which we read together and do the games etc.
she doesn't seem too deprived and seems to be quite happy coming to my house. We go out and about swimming or visiting cousins.

My eldest DGD (10) had the screaming abdabs in the car on the way to school just before they broke up for the holidays. It was all over a hair bobble. She thumped her sister and I had to stop the car and swap her and her little brother around. She sulked all the way to school and stomped off until I shouted her back and said "We will all walk in the gate together as usual". Her reply was "okay grandma" "But don't think I am bringing you a present from my holidays, because I'm not". "Good" said I. "I would hate for you to waste your money on me" "don't worry" she said "I only spend my money on people I actually like".

My youngest grandson (now13) didn't get on very well for a couple of years the I looked after him for the summer hols while his parents worked now he comes to stay every weekend and a couple of extra days during the hols

Tell him that that's all you've got in the freezer, take it or leave it. But, you also tell him that next time he comes you'll be sure to have the biggest ice cream ever. Ask him what he's favourite is.
My DGS told me that his favourite ice cream was chocolate and I didn't forget. The next time he came for lunch I told him that I had ice cream for afters and he promptly asked me if I had remembered that he had told me what his favourite flavour was and was delighted when I told him that I had remembered. I will always remember the hugh smile he gave me.
I'm sure you're an Amazing Grandma, next time you'll have to be even more Amazing!.
We can spoil them now and again but just be careful with the biscuits!.

My daughter knows how my grandson behaves - finding a way to stop his tantrums is difficult and, other than that we do get on well together. It has only been like this since his father left (twice) and both times started up a relationship with a (different) TA at the school he teaches at. My ex son in law also hit and kicked my grandson several times before he left home the first time and then denied doing it. I know my grandson is angry (more so now that his father has had a new baby with his girlfriend and has told him that he has 'moved on') but grandson is getting counselling. All three of my grandchildren have had a lot to put up with over the last two years, hoping that things will improve as they adjust to the situation.

Sorry DotMH that your family is suffering. Hope things settle down . Your DD is lucky to have such a patient mum. I'm sure DGS will 'settle down given time. We all behave worse with the ones we love the most.

Perhaps the little lad is doing what a lot of children do so very well.
Manipulate.
Play one person off against the other creating a feeling of guilt, and as such the persons involved give in and the child wins. Clever little folk.
Does his other Grandma REALLY give him the biggest ice creams ever ?? .
Any way of finding out?

I don't think he wants to be away from you but is missing his parents. My oldest DGD is a bit more diplomatic, she says she loves staying with me but misses her mum and dad.

Whitburn2 that's such a shame.
People have differing attitudes to swearing, some seeing it as absolutely fine, others not.
I guess, in your case, it depends if the DGD was doing it deliberately to be rude to you, or if it was normal talk for her.