Gransnet forums


How often do you see your grandchildren?

(67 Posts)
LaraGransnet (GNHQ) Fri 12-Aug-16 11:51:41

We've been asked to comment on this bit of research showing that over half of grandparents only see their grandchildren once a year.

Do you see your grandchildren as often as you would like? If not, why not? Is it busy lives, location, family issues that keep you from seeing them more frequently?

Would love to have your thoughts. Thanks smile

grannyactivist Fri 12-Aug-16 11:57:08

Those who are at a distance are seen rarely (flights to NZ are not undertaken lightly, but we are in regular Skype contact) and those who are nearer are seen often. For instance I have had two of my grandsons to stay for more than a week this summer and the 6 year old is returning on Monday until early September. They live about 90 minutes drive from me so we can't just pop in to see them, but we do make joint plans with their parents to ensure that we see them as often as is practical with all our busy lifestyles.

tanith Fri 12-Aug-16 12:26:33

One living abroad I see maybe 1 or 2 times per year but those living here I will see regularly the youngest one is here very often and starts High School 2 mins from our door so expect to see her even more often as she has told me she's coming here for her tea at least twice a week when she starts.. smile. The older grands are busy with work and life in general but we still see them quite often.

loopylou Fri 12-Aug-16 12:31:36

I usually see mine every few months but we FaceTime most weeks too. I'm about to spend a week with them, very much looking forward to it!

Jane10 Fri 12-Aug-16 12:32:15

I see our 2 DGSs at least once a week. Sometimes I sleepover there if DD and SiL are going on a night out. Sometimes one or other of them come to stay with us for a 'wee holiday'. All great fun. Sorry less fortunate GNers. I don't want to seem smug. These wee boys are an important part of our lives.

Tegan Fri 12-Aug-16 12:42:52

Currently looking after my granddaughter one day a week, which is lovely as we haven't really seen much of her since she was born [18 months now]. And I can drop in and see my two grandsons who live in the next village whenever I want to but, with the family being so busy I don't go very often. I do often have them after school so they don't have to go to kids club too many nights [my daughters school having scheduled her 'part time work' ie 3 days to cover 4 days, one day being one lesson at the end of the day which involved a long drive and the boys having to go to kids club]. I feel that, having had a few hiccups relationship wise over the years, we now have a good set up and I feel very, very lucky.

ginny Fri 12-Aug-16 12:47:48

We are very lucky as we see both our DGS regularly. DGS1 (13)lives 20 minutes away and we usually see him most weeks. He is spending the next couple of weeks with us during the day. We have arranged trips and friends joining him next week and then we will be in our caravan for the following week,
joining up with the rest of the family for bank holiday

DGS2 ( 6 months ) lives about a 10 min. car ride away and we see him two or three times a week.

Jane10 not smug, just very lucky
, as we are.

NonnaW Fri 12-Aug-16 12:57:26

I am lucky enough to see my gorgeous step grandson (15 months) every week as we do a day of looking after him. However I have a granddaughter of 14 who I see maybe once or twice a year, generally for just a few hours. This is due to a combination of distance (though still in this country), family commitments (her mum has 2 other daughters and is now married to the father of the third), and a son who promises much, but delivers on little!

Waveney Fri 12-Aug-16 12:59:25

I am lucky enough to see my two gc a lot, as I provide childcare for Dd and s-i-l. As I was a single working mum it's lovely to be able to enjoy things I missed out on (like assemblies and sports day) .My younger son and his lovely wife are expecting their first child in November and it will be very different having a gc who lives two hours away.

SueDonim Fri 12-Aug-16 13:04:37

I see two of our grandchildren once a year, twice at most. They live in the US so more is not possible. However, when we see them, we stay in their house or they're staying in ours so we have intensive time together.

Our other grandchild lives over 500 miles away. We see him four or five times a year, usually for a few days at a time, so again it's quite intensive. He's old enough now that he remembers us from visit to visit and always seems happy to see us!

Anya Fri 12-Aug-16 13:07:32

Several times a week

merlotgran Fri 12-Aug-16 13:14:49

Two DGSs live next door so I see them nearly every day. The others all live three hours away in opposite directions and we see them two or three times a year.

We do see more of the eldest DGC now he is at uni and has his own car. He's driven up twice this year to see his cousins and have a decent meal bit of quality time with us.

Mamie Fri 12-Aug-16 13:17:19

We live in France, two grandchildren in UK, two in Spain. We see the children in Spain once a year on average and the children in the UK about six times a year.
Not as often as we would like to see them but we Skype / Facetime every week. It gets easier as they get older. They get in touch independently now for help with homework etc.

millymouge Fri 12-Aug-16 13:21:00

We have seen all six of our grandchildren regularly from birth. Three of them every day, and the other three several times a week. Actually DH and I were saying this morning how lucky we are that we see them so much. I cannot understand how my mother seemed to have very little interest in her 4 grandchildren, never anxious to see them or want them to visit and spend time with her. I think she missed out on a lot.

ninathenana Fri 12-Aug-16 13:24:04

I saw them 4-5 days a week up until 2014 whilst D was with their father. Now they are living 20 mins away and I see them once or twice a month if I'm lucky. In November their father is moving them to another county so who knows sad

nonnasusie Fri 12-Aug-16 13:37:27

We live in Italy so it's only twice a year, summer and Christmas for definite. They come here when they can but are all tied to school holidays when flights rocket!! It's quality time when we do see them because they are staying at our house or we are staying with them.

Lillie Fri 12-Aug-16 14:12:54

Daily, because they only live round the corner. When we last moved we chose to buy a house close by.

I think we are probably overdoing the GP bit, because like millymouge our own children missed out on GPs - my own parents had died and DH's spent no time at all with them. I'm making up for it!

kittylester Fri 12-Aug-16 14:14:26

We are very lucky but I'm not smug as any of them could move at any time!

We have 2 sort of step grandsons who live in the village and we see them every now and again as they are 'big' boys and play football which is much more interesting than going to see old people!

I look after two every Wednesday after school (their other GM does Tuesday) take them back to their house, feed them and take them to whatever they are currently interested in. They are approx 40 mins away.

Two others live 40 mins in the opposite direction. We see them most weeks but on an ad hoc basis. We have them once a week in the school holidays and they often stay over.

The two who are furthest away are about 90 mins driving time. DD is bringing them on Sunday and then staying for a week. Because her siblings live around here it is much easier for DD to come and then meet up with the others round here. And she has babysitters!!

Nina, can he do that? shock

I have

kittylester Fri 12-Aug-16 14:15:48

Apologies for the rogue 'I have' - I wonder what I have! confused

J52 Fri 12-Aug-16 14:32:03

The older 2 ( still infants really ) once a week during term time. The youngest, a toddler, usually once a week. We see her now much more than when she was a baby, could this be because she needs more entertaining. grin

I realise we are very lucky, it could have been very different.

Katek Fri 12-Aug-16 14:36:23

I see Dgd 3 or 4 times a week as I take her after school on two days, and we see her and dd1 most weekends as well. Dgs 1 is an hour and a half away, but we get down every two weeks and sometimes see him inbetween depending on inset days/dd 2's working hours. The two small dgs are 2 hours away but we see them every two weeks as well, and are often called on for emergency child care as they're still little. (1 & 3). We look out for special train offers as well which allows us to pop up for a long day for just a few pounds. Managed a trip earlier this year for £10 return for 2! Couldn't buy the petrol for that.

Alima Fri 12-Aug-16 15:35:49

DGS lives within a mile of us. We see him nearly every day. (He is going to be with his father for ten days from next week, will be weird not seeing him). Our two DGDs live about 80 miles away. Now the eldest has started school we see them each school holiday and the odd weekend. We go up there several times a year too.

NanKate Fri 12-Aug-16 15:48:50

We see our two boys about every month to 6 weeks but we speak to them on Facetime regularly.

They are arriving for a week's hols starting tomorrow. Fortunately the weather looks great for the coming week.

Naively I thought when we became grandparents that we would be invited to family celebrations and relaxed weekends, however this has not been the case. We are asked to look after them which is lovely but exhausting. We do go to some family celebrations to be fair.

My DM although she was Lovely grandmother to our son made it clear he was our responsibility and rarely offered to help out, no wonder I got postnatal depression.

Katek Fri 12-Aug-16 16:04:23

My DM was exactly the same - she did babysit once a year for the Xmas dinner dance, but her attitude was why should I want to go out now I had a family. She mellowed slightly and did take dds to London for a couple of trips when they were older, but never ds. She loved them all dearly though.

annodomini Fri 12-Aug-16 16:12:22

I saw my first GD almost every day and weekends as she lived locally and her primary school was just along the road from my house. Now she is grown up and lives in Berkshire, I see her when I go to see the rest of the family, approximately every five or six weeks. They rarely visit me because as the children get older, they have more and more activities at weekends. I do see them at Christmas.