How often do you see your grandchildren?

I see my 2 grandsons (aged 9 and 6) who live here almost every day. We are very involved in their lives and go to school concerts, sports etc. Also lots of childminding in school holidays and occasional overnights. Their mum is a single parent and runs her own business so very busy. We are privileged the share so much of their lives, though having to exert discipline and do homework with them makes it more like an in loco parentis relationship.

4 other grandchildren live in Surrey. 1 grandson (aged 3) and 3 granddaughters (7, 5 and 1). They come here (N.Ireland) about 2 or 3 times a year and we go over there about 4 times a year. I have a good relationship with them all, although DGD3 is a bit young to remember us yet.

All very different personalities, and all precious to us.

There's a theory that children who grow up with grandparents become more stable as adults. I didn't have any grandparents - so not sure where that leaves me

My friends and I have learnt that when we see our grandchildren is very much down to the parents and not our own need to see them.

I would love to see my grand children on a regular basis but on average I see them about once every two to six weeks.

I have 2 DGC, both the children of my DS. They live 200 miles away and we see them about every six weeks, usually for several days at a time. As not just DGC but their parents are in education, as pupils or, in DS case, university lecturer, we generally visit them in term time and they visit us in the holidays/vacations.

They come to us for up to a week at Christmas (although only every other Christmas day), Easter (ditto) and summer holidays and we go up for birthdays, special events, occasional child care and when our own lives take us north of Watford.

DGD has been coming to stay with us once or twice a year since she was 7 (she is now 9) and will be coming next week for 5 days and she has been on the phone several times to tell me how excited she is about it and discuss the things we will do together. We will collect her but the rest of the family will come down at the end of her visit and will stay with us for a week.

DGS, aged 6, has not yet visited on his own, or with his sister, as he has had health problems, now gone, but his parents are understandably still a bit nervous at his being too far from home without them.

Like SueDomin and Mamie, I have one, just turned 2, in America - we visited last year, but haven't gone this year. They come home at Christmas and we Skype every week, so we don't feel distanced and can follow his developing vocabulary.

The other one is just 18 months an lives 3 hours' drive away. Both parents work, so we get to see them every 4 -6 weeks. They are leaving today after a week with us (that was their summer holiday). Next visit possibly in 6 weeks - if not it will have to wait till after our holiday. We also skype but the line's not good, so we usually talk on the phone.

We have one grandchild and we see him a couple of days a week when we pick him up from school, and during the school holidays he comes to stay with us on those two days. We have just been away as a family and it was a great delight to have him with us for a week. DS has two stepsons who, at 18 and 21, we don't see so much of these days but they are charming boys and a pleasure to be with when we do get the chance.

We have 1 grandson, aged 13. He lives 7 miles away. We have always seen a lot of him and been very involved, even before his Mum returned returned to work when he was 7. Then we did the school runs every day and brought him to our house for tea 1 day a week. Since moving to his next school at 11 we did the morning run only. In the last 12 months he has become a normal teenager and is more interested in his technology than chatting to us. C'est la vie! But we have a very strong bond and consider it a privilege to have so much contact. We are very lucky. I am ready for another grandchild. If I do get one it will live a 2 hour drive away so will be different and require more travelling. We are very lucky. Sorry about lengthy post!

Our two DGC live in USA. Since they moved there we have been every year for three weeks or a month. We also Skype every week or two.
We've just had the great news that a new DGC is expected in the new year, only half an hour away so we hope to be more hands on with him/her.

I think the one thing that is absent from so many surveys is the difference that modern means of communication has made to contact between grandparents, children and grandparents.

My father was in the army, all my grandparents lived in London while we moved round the world from Asia to Europe to the north of England. The only contact between my parents and grandparents were letters written on those flimsy aerogramme forms and occasional small black and white photographs, which could be more than a week in transit. Telephones were few and far between and overseas calls extremely expensive so very rare. My grandparents, on occasion, did not see us for over three years.

Now, everyone has phones, the cost of phone calls is infinitismal compared with the past and anyway you can send texts any time then there is email, skype, messaging, facebook.

When I think back to my childhood and the limits to communication between the generations, I am so grateful that in my generation of grandparenting, contact is so easy and the cost of travel relatively so much more affordable.

I can only agree with MOnica. My children never knew their grandparents for the very reasons you outline - we were never in the country long enough to get to know them before we dragged them off somewhere else in the world! They barely remember them now. Modern methods of communication have been a godsend.

Two of mine are adults now, and one has moved to Ireland so I haven't seen her since February. But we are in touch electronically every week. The other lives locally and pops in from time to time. And my two younger ones are local and I see them every week. I take them out during the school holidays as well as visiting their house regularly.
I have been very lucky to spend lots of time with all my grandchildren, and have a lovely relationship with them.

two of my grandaughters live with me [with their mum] but the other two live 100 miles away. we only see them twice a year - once just after christmas and once between birthdays [august and september]. my son and his wife make no attempt to contact us in between and it's always us that makes the phone call to ask if it's ok to come down!!
they have a very strict daily routine and mostly keep the ringer of their landline phone turned off so it doesn't disturb the girls - funny idea that to my mind cos nothing disturbed my son and daughter.
they don't come to visit us - apparently sitting for a couple of hours in a child's car seat damages their backs!! again, that didn't harm my children [or the two grandaughters who live with me].
emails and mobile phones aren't answered either so that avenue of approach of approach doesn't work either.
not sure what i can do - i've missed so much of the girls' growing up and feel they don't know me with only two visits a year [they're 5 and 2 this year].

If us grans wasn't looking after our grandchildren would we see them as much though? We have our use but apart from the babysitting how many actually spend quality time with us, especially dil there mothers have the pleasure time while mil get the babysitting time. Maybe I'm being over sensitive

I don't see ours enough, but nothing I can do about it
They're all scattered to the 4 corners.

I see my grandchildren at every opportunity, I think as they grow older they won't want to see me as much fun making the most of it now, the problem is my other half full never had children unfortunately he makes it very difficult sometimes, I find this very hurtful and might start a new thread about it see if anybody else finds this a problem

My 2 grandchildren come to my house most weekends when my son has them. They are with their Mum during the week. I also often have them in school holidays and am taking them on holiday next week.

We have my youngest grandson to stay every other weekend. The rest of them...1 30year old, 2 16year olds, and 3 great grandkids who are 9, 3 and almost 1 all come every week for what we call, 'Wacky Wednesday' This also includes on most weeks, both my sons and daughters as well. This was never a planned thing, it just sort of happened over time and it gives us all a chance to catch up.

rubylady I felt the same as you. I saw my DGD for the first 4 years of her life maybe 4-5 times a year at family events, visits by me up to where they live. My exDH has never seen our grandchildren - my DS and DiL dont want my sons side of the family a priority.
I have a cousin who is starting/trying mediation with her DD and SiL for access to her new DGD. She and her DH have never seen their DGD who is nearly 2.