Feeling Helpless

I agree Mumofmadboys BUT an act of violence is scary-does he behave like this all the time? Is he abusing his partner/child? Bullying is awful.

I lost my temper again. 6 and 5 year olds. Have kept them SO much, all their lives. Love them more than anything. When they are home, their mom, my daughter, is on her phone so much that she doesn't discipline them. They are SO totally out of control. They fight, scream, cry, run through the house, do what I tell them not to. The noise HURTS my brain. It makes me nauseous. I spank them, time out...nothing works. End of the day, I feel like the meanest person. I feel defeated, like I'm afraid they are going to end up being really bad grown ups. I love them with all my heart. Beautiful babies and so sweet at times. I'm just too old I think to have young children with me so much. Everyone thinks I'm the best granny ever. But I'm losing my temper with them all the time. They are lime thing one and thing two; really. Do I need Valium? Anger management? The Nanny? I don't know how to change things. They are both SO hyper and don't listen.

exhaustedgrany maybe sit them down and talk to them and also listen to what they have to say . Spanking is just another word for hitting but sounds more acceptable to the people who use it . I could never hit a young child , it achieves nothing except to maybe confirm that physical violence is OK . Maybe they just need a good listening to or maybe your daughter needs some help with parenting , does she hit the children too ? Perhaps have a good talk with your daughter to explain how exhausted you are and to leave her phone at home when she brings the children . I have always found distraction helps with little ones , doing a jigsaw or some colouring with them when they are getting a bit noisy .

How do they behave at school?

exhaustedgranny - take a step back you are doing too much and wearing yourself out. Take a long hard look at what is happening in your family and get some help. Your daughter has to take some responsibility. Maybe some help with parenting skills or another person to help with their care. You need to look after yourself or something will go badly wrong.

How often do you look after them?
How many children at a time - always 2?
Is your DD at work while you look after them?
Is there some financial arrangement?

Hitting children is not acceptable and you are clearly doing too much. It is a red flag.

You are the adult and need to sort this.

I look after DGC 2 days a week while DD works. I made it clear from the start that I would only have them one at a time as I did not feel we could cope with them together. That way you get to have a good day with one child and concentrate on them and give them all the attention. I do have other GC occasionally with 2 there, but they are a bit older and more civilized.

Talk with DD and get this sorted before someone gets hurt.

If the 2 are too much for you then that is that. Time to stand back and be realistic about this, and make some rules.

I used to only look after one grandson at a time, as they would fight ALL the time, and I just found it too stressful.