Daughter in law leaving

Some very good advice on here.

You have my sympathies, in fact I feel upset on your behalf and for those little girls; my DGD are about the same age
It is a good thing you are so close and will be there for your DS and DGD as much as you are able. Even if you are not physically up to the mark (believe me, I know!) you will be there for them emotionally and will be a great support I'm sure. They will need to be told that mummy will not be coming back, but gently, because they will both be asking questions, especially the 7 year old who may find it harder to accept.

I hope your son does manage not to transfer any bitterness he may feel to the girls, very difficult not to do.

I can understand how your DIL may yearn for home but can't understand how she can leave her daughters, however they have been brought up here and are better with all that is familiar to them and their loving family here.

I am so sorry for your family. I cannot fathom anyone doing this!

Can I also advise getting everyone into counselling session- your poor GC and Ds! (Though I'm pleased custody will be signed over- less of a worry when the shock of it is over and she may come back!). Can I also suggest that you help your son in being a single dad (help as a grandparent but not taking over parental duties) as this will help him step up as a parent, and you be able to still be the grandparent (not pseudo mum). (Hope this wasn't too presumptive and mean no offence! Just something to think of for your future family!)

Good luck and prayers for you all during this huge change in your lives!

I feel so sorry for all concerned I'm sure she will regret leaving her children behind . I just hope that your son and grandchildren will be safe secure and happy in time. I wish you peace at such an awful time just keep going day to day and the love from your grandchildren will make you able to cope

Goodmorning all, thank you for keeping me going. Monicahas hit the nail on the head in her post.We have legal advice and as l speak my daughter in law and son are at the solicitor to sign to say he has sole custody.l think she has ideas that if it doesn't work out she can come back but that would mess them up so bad can you imagine turning up with another child. Someone said where did they meet,well we moved to France 2004 and they were at college together. Her stepfather is here although he has never bothered with DIL and girls and 2 half sisters who they looked upon my daughter in law as their support so they will be left too.Well they will be in the office now and l feel sick. You are all very supportive. Thank you

Sorry Monica..predictive text?

Apologies for original post and abbreviated version. Not sure what happened but probably my incompetence.

Your son was lucky to find a solicitor open on a Bank Holiday, Eileen, or do you not live in the UK?

The same happened to my partner when his children were young. His wife just left him and their 2 boys and didn't see the boys for many years (her choice). My partner was always really careful never to imply that their mother didn't love them. He just told them that mummy couldn't live with them anymore. He felt that it would really damage their self esteem to think that they were unloved. They have both grown up to be confident successful young men and their mother did eventually start seeing them again and they built up a relationship with her, not sure they ever really forgave her though.

Eileen your daughter in law must not leave for Thailand with the impression that if things do not work out there she can return to her old home and things will return to normal. That would be messing up too many lives- once she leaves, goodbye.

I may sound harsh but she must not mess up these young girls minds and lives any more than she is.

Perhaps it's not a Bank Holiday in France, Eileen says they all moved there in 2004 I think.

Ah, yes - missed that, I thought the couple had met in France. Sorry!

No, today hasn't been a Bank Holiday here. Though Monday 15th was ( Assumption, no-one knows what that means!)

I know about the Assumption

Monica your post was very helpful, thank you x

You got it Ana we live in France.

Hi Maggie Jane, how heartbreaking for them. I think we will have to get help where what to tell the girls is concerned. I don't want us to get in a bad situation by telling a story to save the pain for them.
You have given me something to think about thank you. X

Charleygirl. Exactly. She says she will face time them and come and see them and daddy can take them once a year to see her. I have begged her to think hard and get theropy to sort her head out. But then the family in Thailand say I couldn't have cared for her because I wouldn't shout and say these things. Someone even said could you just bring one child then. Can you imagine what my son said.

Ana, no probs

Thanks for that jalima

Hi biddysue, thank you for your support. I hope we can too. Fortunately the girls are very much nanny and gar and titi my daughter who is like a second mom. It's hit her hard too. X

I'm very sorry you have had this terrible shock Eileen and I can understand how devastated you must feel.

On a more positive note, however, it is in some ways fortunate that your daughter in law will be leaving the children with their dad. Maybe it's because she knows it will be safer and better for them to stay in a place and with people they know rather than to find themselves in a very different country and culture.

I hope she does maintain some sort of regular contact with the children - otherwise they may wonder if they have done something wrong which has caused their mum to leave.

Hi deed a, I don't see how she thinks face time and phone calls would suffice. They would say when you coming home mommy. We don't want that.

Swimwith fish. I think we all need councilling, I fear the time ahead. Thank you for your post.

I don't understand how she can walk out on the children either and yet it happens every day with men walking away from their kids

It will be far better than if she took them with her,you and your son will manage fine and after months the girls will stop asking for their mum they have each other a great dad and loving grandparents they have stability, school, home life, friends I would certainly be very very careful if she ever comes back to visit make it quite clear to her that once she's gone she's gone, no custody or even visitation rights and I would get the solicitor to make it all legal

Assumption, no-one knows what that means!
yes, some of us do
Odd, really, that France claims to be secular but still retains these public holidays!