Asking for too much?

she had the children they are her responsibility. Tell her what you will be pleased to do and refuse anything else. she sounds very manipulative.

Too right she is asking for too much. Sorry, but she sounds like a very selfish individual.

We've just had our two GC (4 & 7) for a whole weekend for the first time and much as we love them it was exhausting. Expecting you to have 5 for a weekend every month is way OTT. What parenting planet do they live on? I would also insist that sleepovers happen at your home if that is your wish.

If she is completely dependent on you then she is not going to want to alienate you so stand your ground. It is you doing her the favour! Good luck x

I bet if she asked her own generation what they thought of her request to her mum - not leaving out the details of your age and that you'd have to cope on your own - the majority of them would be horrified too. You are NOT unreasonable. This is TOO MUCH to ask. I'm sorry to say that I find her actions over your grand daughter quite bullying and childish. You may love them, and let them know that, but don't weaken.

How can they afford to go away once a month? Maybe they should employ an au pair instead. Agree with all the other posters. Don't do it

Way too much to expect of you, have you explained in detail how difficult you find managing 5 children for a whole wknd? Agree with lady who suggested child sitting for a few hours so they could have meal out or whatever maybe every month. Maybe you could also offer to add a possible wknds cover every 3 months to aid a peaceful conclusion.

Your daughter is the unreasonable one. She chose to have 5 children. Why does she assume that she is entitled to a break each month? You are not being unreasonable at all. What you are being 'asked' to do is too much!

Stick to your guns. Far too much to ask of anyone

I agree with everyone else, that's an unreasonable request. I understand the need for the couple to have some time alone, as we had four children and didn't seem to make time for one another. But surely an evening out once a month should be much more suitable and less expensive. I'm sure you could probably cope with babysitting duties, getting them to bed etc knowing that the parents would be home later on.
Sorry DD is being thoughtless. I'd be tempted to show her some of these posts then she may come to her senses.

You need to be honest to your daughter and tell her she is expecting to much from you you. Maybe remind her that you are closer to 70 than 60 and you don't have the energy of a Grandmother in her 50's. It was your daughters chose to become a mother and it is her responsibility to look after her children. Suggest to your daughter that if she want's to go away for a weekend every month she takes her children with her as they are only young once and grow up so very quickly.

I agree with everyone else- its much too much to ask. We didnt go away overnight for ten tears and only asked grandparents t have our threefor a one off weekend when the children were much older ie around 14,12 and 8

TBH I think it depends on the children I regularly have my 6
(2-12 years old) to stay weekends & I find it easier to have 6 than 2 lots of 3. I think this is because there are 2 sets of 3 cousins & as they do not see each other every day they get on so well & we can just sit back & let them get on with it. Yes- it's noisy & yes a lot of toys get brought downstairs & loads of printer paper gets drawn on & cut up but it s great fun.
The only mad time is breakfast when they all seem to want something different & I'm boiling eggs, frying bacon, making porridge, toasting bread & Lord knows what!I could make it easier for myself by giving them all the same thing but the little 3 are difficult eaters. Then we have to play the upside down boiled egg game EVERY time & they never get tired of it.
If I'm honest we love it & my sons & DiL's do not take it for granted that we will have them & usually pick them up about 2-3 on the Sunday & are very appreciative. If they weren't I might be a bit miffed because it is hard work at time (bedtime!! 3 lots of stories but the 12 year old now takes his turn reading them to the little ones.)
When they have gone we pack up all the toys & sit down for a large G&T!! Then we say how quiet it is & when are they next coming!
They will not be young long so we make the most of it.

That sounds like great fun, Craftycat. I'm only up to three and seven eighths grandchildren at the moment, but hope when they're a bit older to have the energy to do the same. I'll have to persuade the old man first though!

That's TOTALLY unreasonable!!! My DD has 2 of her own and two step children, i would never be asked to look after them all EVER!
I look after my baby grandson occasionally and do a bit of cleaning for her but childcare on a regular basis is something i have never offered. I will always be available in an emergency though.(stayed night in hospital with one grandchild)

I haven't read the replies but I think they mostly say you needn't feel you need to do this, and I agree. What is it with grown up children these days...why must they keep taking breaks away from their children? We hardly ever got an hour off and if we went away we took the kids with us. We didn't really expect to do anything else-and couldn't afford it anyway.Actually I think it's outrageous to expect you to do this. With five children, the most I would offer would be a few hours sometimes-if you are free. You've had your days of bringing up children, why should you go back to such a big commitment. Stick to your guns.

I too think this is an unreasonable request - have they ever offered to take you on holiday with them or pay for you to have a weekend break away? Probably not I would guess - why do so many of our children have large families then expect their parents to pick up the reins when they want a break? Asking if it is possible is different to demanding it as a right. I look after my three eldest grandchildren as my daughter is a single parent (not her choice, ex son in law walked out on them twice) and works full time. I find it tiring even though we have a routine (of sorts) and when she was away with work for a week recently I was absolutely shattered when she got back, not just because of the physical work of cooking/cleaning/caring for them but also the worry of dealing with illness (both granddaughters were ill whilst she was away) and injuries (grandson can fall over a feather and, at 13, is well into the teenage 'it's not fair' stage if told No). Where are the other grandparents and parents?? Could the children not be sent to stay with the relevant GP/P if they really need a regular break? Keep saying No would be my advice if you can, but perhaps offer a once or twice a year weekend if you feel up to it instead?

Reading the post I am concluding that only one of these children is your grandchild as you write the other girls are DSDs.

Then offer to have your granddaughter at your home and suggest the other 4 are looked after by one of his relatives at their home or they employ a nanny.

Also tell them social services might not think it safe if someone of your age was left in charge of so many children and having done it once you know it is not safe!

Did you have a weekend a month to get away when you were bringing up your kids? I certainly didn't. Perhaps you could once or twice a year but not with all five children . I daresay she does get tired but she chose to have five children and they are her responsibility not yours. I help with my two GDs from time to time when one of their parents goes away . It's loads of fun but I'm not so young now so it is tiring. I share this with the other grandparents and it works well. My DS and his wife are very thankful and appreciate the help. If I ever had to say no I couldn't imagine them 'blackmailing' into changing my mind.

'Maggiemaybe' and 'craftycat' I'm so pleased to hear that having lots of grandchildren to care for is such a pleasure. I've had my teenage grandson living with me since he was only a few days old and he's such a joy. I would love to have other grandchildren on a regular basis.
I have to stay fit and healthy to help him with his rugby...he practises scrums and tackles with me? and I love it!

Their kids, their responsibility and they are taking the proverbial if they think it's acceptable to dump their children on you for a weekend while they have a wee jolly away.

It's a no from me too on this one.

A whole weekend is too much even overnight would be exhausting

Solitaire DGS2, aged 3, has just demanded I get him in a leghold headlock on the rug... Apparently I'm stronger than Grandad, who was allowed to go and make the tea.

I agree with what's already been suggested. If you have children then you have to look after them not pass the responsibility onto your mother, who has already reared her own children. I am all for helping and a trip of a life time maybe, but to demand you do this once a month is totally selfish. Don't give in to her demands, she need to understand and respect you. Please don't feel too down most of us have family problems and I hope it all works out for you x

Yes she is asking too much! Five children once a month is unreasonable.

I think your last sentence summed it up! You're right when you say that your DD has no respect for you!

Right ..... so they want a weekend away once a month and expect (or demand) that you decamp to their home to care for FIVE children. What planet are they from to be so selfish and demanding. I would be incandescent with rage if either of my offspring suggested such a thing.

You're right to refuse. If they can afford monthly werkends away then I would suggest bi-monthly escapes and they can get a nanny to provide childcare whilst they are off on a jolly. You don't need to explain that you love your grandchildren; we all know that. This is such a ludicrous suggestion from your daughter that words now fail me.

We have my GS 3 afternoons per week and I'm counting down to September when he starts school so that I'm free again! Love him .... Absolutely but have only ever had him for one overnight stay.

Please don't back down on this one. How they dare argue when you refused is quite quite beyond me.
Your eldest GD will soon be old enough to come and visit you on her own. I really feeling totally indignant on your behalf.

Completely agree with other responses - maybe an hour or 2 for a film or a meal sometimes, but a weekend once a month is completely taking the pee.
Stick to your guns, if your DD plays dirty be upfront about it and my guess is it will blow over in a while.
Something like "I love you all but it's too much for me" and repeat as necessary.
Maybe they could think about getting an au pair? There must be other solutions but personally I think a whole weekend of "me" time every month is a bit (massively) unrealistic (selfish).
Hope it is soon resolved, good luck x