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Tired Granny

(117 Posts)
hopeful1 Thu 02-Mar-17 19:51:07

I am wondering how other Grandparents cope with looking after the Grandchildren. I look after a 2 year old GS 2 days a week from 7 til 6 on average and drop off and pick up my 8 year old GD for school then care. I am finding this really exhausting even though I am only 57. I have got to the stage that after a full day with them I need the next day recovering and do little else, I am lucky that I was able to take early retirement. I love them dearly and put a lot of effort into making their days worthwhile. I do suffer from anxiety so work hard at not letting it control my life however this is not quite how I envisaged retirement. Do others feel like this.

Starlady Mon 29-May-17 13:42:30

JackyB, what a great attitude you and dh have! I hope you have more opportunities to babysit your gc.

"Some of us have to do it too much, and others not enough. It's difficult to get it right so that parents and grandparents are equally satisfied with the time spent with the children."

Very true, imo!

nannynoo Fri 09-Jun-17 18:59:18

I am definitely on the ''knackered register'' lol as lots of you probably know my Grandson with Autism has lived with me for 2 years now...

I am not a good sleeper either and weekends and school hols are tough but I cannot bear to think about the alternative , so , yes every day at around 8pm when my weary body descends those stairs after putting him to bed I am often in a comatosed state and can just about MOVE let alone think about using the 'me time' to put some washing on or sort out his uniform etc and I find I have to do those things during the day otherwise come 8pm I am not in a fit state for anything , anyone or any planet apart from planet 'switch your brain & body off' but there is always something else to do and I have 3 local authority / school meetings next week 12 miles away and social worker home visits every fortnight plus contact with his Mum has been upped to 3 times a week so I do indeed have my work cut out and could actually do with a hug (sad) x

mumofmadboys Fri 09-Jun-17 19:05:24

You are doing a fantastic job Nannynoo. Could you go to bed as well at eight pm even if you read in bed for a bit. Take care of yourself and remember you are doing a great job
Hugs xx

jacksmum Fri 09-Jun-17 19:32:56

When i looked after my then toddler GCD ,i used to take them to local mums groups,often held in church halls, they had a great time playing with all the other toddlers , could play with messy things that i was not so keen on them doing in my home!!! lol, and then home for lunch and they would normally play so nicely in the afternoon as had used up so much energy at the playgroup. i really miss going to these places now, My GC are past this age now ,but they still talk about the fun they had at these groups.

paddyann Fri 09-Jun-17 19:40:09

I've had one GD for half the week for six years ,thats day and night and the other three I have regularly for weekends .I think you nee dto relax and teach you wee one to entertain him/herself.I put paints and paper out and we hang the pictures on the washing line to dry .If the weather is particularly good we do it outside and they have picnics that last for hours with a cd player they can dance to.Get a blackboard and chalks and leave them to it while you get on with housework or have a break.Its not any different to having your own really ,just dont stress about it.We''re cooking now ,the 10 and the 7 year old learned how to make omelettes last week and the week before we learned scones.They go home and try out the recipes on mum .Try to enjoy the time ,they shouldn't NEED to be entertained all the time

paddyann Fri 09-Jun-17 19:40:57

we're now cooking .

hulahoop Fri 09-Jun-17 19:48:05

We have looked after gd since my daughter went back to work she as another one now asked other day if I wanted one day a week with hen she goes back I would love to but said we will see nearer time I would love to have same relation ship with this one as I have with gd . I do feel guilty at times my other GC don't live near enough to look after but would only do one day there as well but dil is SAHM because of child care costs she can't afford to work when she tried it she was spending more in childcare transport costs than what she earned . I wouldn't want to do it on my own oh is also retired we do get tired we tend to go on short train journeys or walks to park , occasion play group luckily it's one as been very easy going .

Katek Sat 10-Jun-17 00:04:39

Heading off on Sunday to give two small dgs ( 4 & 2) a break from nursery. It's getting near the end of term and they're getting tired being in childcare every day. I'm having plenty of rest this week before the event and will need a few days after to recover! Keeping fingers x'd that weather is good

Starlady Sat 10-Jun-17 12:00:38

Nannynoo, here's a (((hug)))

Also, I second the "go to bed at 8, yourself" idea. Perhaps if you do that, you will find yourself waking extra early and can do needed chores then?

Miminainai Fri 17-Sep-21 15:41:26

Feeling like my body is hurting from so much caregiving ( recently deceased spouse snd 2 new toddlers). Only 64 but I feel wiped out snd like my body is gathering into a bundle of aches and pains . Can one put ones own needs over those of my children snd their babies? I need to regain my own life — my body is crying out for a phase of not caregiving

Miminainai Fri 17-Sep-21 15:44:34

Oh, snd and I feel extreme quilt about this!!

DiscoDancer1975 Fri 17-Sep-21 17:39:31

Miminainai...I would start your own thread. This one is 4 years old.

To start you off, absolutely do not feel guilty. You’ve just lost your husband for which I’m so sorry. You don’t need to explain further.

All the best to you ?

AuroraW Tue 11-Jan-22 13:34:07

I must admit I find all these comments so reassuring as I find looking after little children utterly exhausting but so rewarding at the same time. I wouldn’t want to be on the sidelines as a Granny and feel that if you take care of your grandchildren regularly you definitely reap the rewards and form such an amazing bond with them. My GS is 18 months and have looked after him once a week since he was four months old. He was born in Australia and I feared I would never be able to know him properly but I thank my lucky stars the family returned to the UK and I feel privileged to be able to look after him. I also look after my GD once a week who is 9 months old which is also so rewarding and I felt more confident this time with a young baby as I’d been used to looking after my GS. However I have told both families that will do only one day each a week for them so I do get to enjoy my own time which is important too. I’m new to this site and and am so glad I found it because I find all the posts so interesting to read plus you feel you are not alone with your Granny worries!

Amazonite Sun 26-Feb-23 16:18:54

Is this site still functional

Abracadabra Tue 07-Mar-23 15:37:59


I agree GS is 2 and half I have him one day a week. He still has an after lunch nap and so do I! I'm dreading him giving it up I need those 5 mins to get me through the day.

When my children were little, they transitioned to quiet time or rest time, in their rooms and I made sure I used this for my own rest time, not catching up on chores! Does this still happen in households? It’s good for children to have some quiet time.

I don’t have grandchildren nor am likely to but have worked with young children for years until recently and love having time for myself at last. Young children are lovely but even with my own, it got boring and I suspect it would with gc. Working in group care is very different. I admire those who do it and say they love it and hearing of those long days, aren’t at all surprised to hear how tired they get

HenriettaH Sun 02-Apr-23 14:02:30

I am new to Gransnet and find the level of support provided by contributors very uplifting. I agree with AuroraW that the posts are interesting and very helpful.
My DD2 lives some distance away and I recently spent a week at her house to help her with DGDs aged 3 and 1 while DSIL was away on business. DH joined me for the second week, but we stayed in a rented flat nearby. At the end of 2 weeks I was absolutely exhausted, despite the fact that DGD1 goes to nursery school Mon-Fri and DGD2 goes to the creche 3 days a week. DD2 works from home, so on days when the baby was at home, or at weekends, I was in charge of most of the childcare. We shared other duties such as shopping and cooking and school drop-offs & pick-ups. DD2 still has broken nights with one or other of the children waking, & suffers tension in her shoulders from carrying the baby and frequent migraines too. I ended up carrying DGD2 up and down stairs, in and out to the car and so on. I was surprised to find I was so tired, as I adore the GDC and we all get on well, so I guess it’s to do with my age (I’m 67). Could it be that it’s because I’m ‘on duty’ all the time I’m with them? ( I’m not really a worrier.) I remember being busy with my own children when they were small, but nothing like this level of tiredness (I was in my early thirties then!) DH is a good deal older than me, but is very good at playing with the children & making them laugh, although he doesn’t do the nappy-changing type tasks.
DD1 lives close to me, so we can visit each other during the day. We sometimes have DGS aged 2 to stay the night. This will no doubt become more frequent as she is expecting another baby in May.
I feel fortunate in that both my DDs & DSILs are very considerate about our well-being and give us plenty of notice if they need us to babysit. Reading other people’s posts makes me realise this is quite rare! However if anyone can answer my questions I’d be very grateful. Does childcare get less tiring physically as the children get older? Is it reasonable for me to say that I can only look after the DGC for a week at a time, even when the parents are present too?
Many thanks in advance for your advice!