hildajj, your daughter certainly has her work cut out home-schooling four kids but I don't think that gives her an excise to rant at you. I say that with confidence because my sister was in a similar position (with similar extra problems) and she didn't hit out at others. Admittedly, her husband did not work away for long periods but he was another stress-adding problem for different reasons.
From what you say, it sounds as if your DD thinks you owe her your time and assistance. You don't. Having four kids and home-schooling them in spite of the absence of her husband for long stretches were her choices. She should be grateful for what help you do give her (and I know you and your husband do give plenty of support) and she should show it by, at least, remaining pleasant towards you however stressed she's feeling. This thread and previous ones have hinted that she takes the stress out on you, which is not really on, since you are not the cause of it.
I do hope she finds ways of coping with the demands on her time and energy amd I hope that she stops ranting at you 
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