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Grandparenting

Daughter and I are not speaking

(102 Posts)
retirementisgreat Mon 06-Mar-17 10:58:45

After discussing arrangements with my DD for future babysitting and my saying I will not have all five DGC once a month for a whole weekend, it came to a head when she sent me an abusive text message during the night and posted on face book that she had no family support. She has made some hurtful accusations e.g. I'm just like her DF - that's my Ex. I have never said I won't help at all. She gave me an either/or choice, so my last text to her was to agree to have the three girls. I have not responded and resolved to wait until she apologises which probably won't happen. Should I make the first move - or wait for her to say sorry?

thatbags Sat 11-Mar-17 07:21:36

hildajj, your daughter certainly has her work cut out home-schooling four kids but I don't think that gives her an excise to rant at you. I say that with confidence because my sister was in a similar position (with similar extra problems) and she didn't hit out at others. Admittedly, her husband did not work away for long periods but he was another stress-adding problem for different reasons.

From what you say, it sounds as if your DD thinks you owe her your time and assistance. You don't. Having four kids and home-schooling them in spite of the absence of her husband for long stretches were her choices. She should be grateful for what help you do give her (and I know you and your husband do give plenty of support) and she should show it by, at least, remaining pleasant towards you however stressed she's feeling. This thread and previous ones have hinted that she takes the stress out on you, which is not really on, since you are not the cause of it.

I do hope she finds ways of coping with the demands on her time and energy amd I hope that she stops ranting at you flowers