Son

You have got it wrong Norah

I disagree with the suggestion that it takes two to cause a rift. I can think of several cases where rifts have taken place between people where one person quietly living their life has suddenly had somebody take against them, for no discernable reason.

To give a ridiculous but believable situation. Two houses, Two householders and one goes out and buys a 4X4 not knowing that their neighbour has an unreasonable dislike of such cars and launches a campaign of harrassment and vandalism against the neighbour who has bought one. To suggest that the car buying neighbour was in any way responsible for the problems because he bought a car a neighbour didn't like is ridiculous.

I had a work colleague harassed by a neighbour who had lived next to her for 50 years for a similar type of reason. The campaign lasted 7 years before she finally ended it with a court case.

MOnica I agree , it does not always take two to cause and argument! Sometimes it takes one to respond unreasonably, without discussion or a willingness to listen or hear .....a cause of much unhappiness for themselves and others!

I was careful to say that the 'other side' might be unreasonable! But unless you know where the other side is coming from you cannot move forward.

Penstemmon, You have made my point, Thank you.

Perhaps some more information from TrishaJ would help us not to "get it all wrong"? It is hard when there is very little to go on, but I appreciate it might be upsetting for you.
Perhaps this resentment has been brewing for a while or perhaps it was a spontaneous outburst. Hard to know with so few details.

Yes, it's difficult isn't it? It might be your son is feeling you have abandoned the family and thus removed support when they have been used to having you around. Children sometimes find it difficult to get their heads round the fact that their parents want a life of their own and should have the freedom to enjoy their retirement as they see fint.

I think a clear and frank discussion needs to take place. Ask your son what he would do if a fantastic job came along in another part of the country or even abroad, if it was an offer too good to turn down? Would he say no just to be near his parents? Lots of offspring seem to think that it's ok for them to follow their dreams but don't allow their parents the same freedom.

They may not understand that the decision to move away is not taken lightly as you say you miss your grandchildren.