I agree with the OP about the suggested downside to losing your partner. When my husband died very suddenly nine years ago, I realised within a very short time (a matter of days) how much you depend on having a partner for social occasions. One of my sons gently suggested we might all walk down to the village pub. We set off in a group but the pavements are narrow and eventually there was my daughter and her boyfriend (now husband) walking together and my younger son and his girlfriend the same. That was natural. I, walking alone, brought up the rear. I was pretty much choked and nearly turned back but pressed on. It was the loneliest feeling. Once we reached the pub, it wasn't so bad but the world is generally populated by couples and that can make a single woman's/widow's social life tricky. I'm not a sad person, rather the opposite and I have my karate to get me out of the house several times a week but other forms of socialising are now few and far between.
My daughter often suggests a jamboree family holiday and, while not wanting to reject or disappoint her, I can't fancy the idea of being the odd one tagging along behind all the couples ever again, especially in a foreign country! Holidays themselves are not important enough for me to want to relive that feeling of nine years ago.
My chosen holiday is one I've been on every year for the last nineteen years. It's the karate summer school week. Everyone who attends is there to do karate and most are individuals. My late husband had no interest in karate so I have always gone alone.
As far as childcare goes, I now have two grandsons but they live in Bristol and I'm in Northumberland so visits both ways are regular but well spaced. My daughter is lucky enough to be a full time mum and would be even if I lived next door so being taken for granted doesn't arise. However, when I visited recently for several weeks to help with the newborn, they were so grateful, plied me with as much of my favourite Malbec as I could drink and bent over backwards to help me to train at a local karate club.
So, OP, I recommend finding something to join, a class or club with like minded people to take you out of yourself and break your dependence on your daughter. Find some daytime activities. It sounds as if your daughter needs you so she's unlikely to want to fall out with you and risk losing your help altogether. You deserve your own life. Take small steps away from dependence and do something risky.
Is there anyone who still thinks that Israel's actions in Gaza are justifiable?
Is it me or am I getting mixed messages