Well to be blunt, it's none of your business what the other grandparents do with your relatives, as the children are not yours. I know, it's harsh, but why beat around the bush. Going tit for tat and making an issue of "equal" involvement is only going to work against you so I would steer clear of that. Just be positive and supportive with whatever involvement you're are privileged enough to receive! Grandparents don't deserve to be treated equally , they simply deserve to be treated the way they behave individually. For example, if you stomp boundaries you will not receive the same privileges as grandparents that do not stomp boundaries. My advice in general is to find a hobby that makes you happy and enjoy whatever time with your relatives/child's kids that they grant you. Good luck!