Gransnet forums

Grandparenting

On labour ward. This is stressful!

(142 Posts)
Flaxseed Thu 31-Aug-17 02:24:57

DD was admitted last night after a check for decreased foetal movements revealed high blood pressure at 38 weeks.
She only moved to her first home last week so her hospital bag was at mine.
I brought it up to hospital and now can't bring myself to leave her.
She has cannulas, a catheter, bp monitoring, foetal monitoring, and regular medication.
I work here (not a Midwife) so it's good to see familiar faces but I am not used to being 'on the other side' and it's so scary.
Just looking for a hand hold really confused

Jamison Mon 04-Sep-17 06:37:02

Flaxseed, 41 years ago I was the same as your dd and grandson, my bp stayed very high after delivery for 9 days, its horrid, my baby was in scuba under light machine, after 10 days of worry we were both allowed home safe and well, my next pregnancy no preclampcia, but still high blood pressure, Please do not worry as much as we all did everything was fine and my darling babies are now extremely healthy and happy mummy's themselves xx

cornergran Mon 04-Sep-17 07:35:09

So much worry for everyone with a difficult birth, poorly Mum or poorly baby. We have had experience of poorly baby and Mum, at the time it felt like being in limbo. We were almost scared to feel excited. So hard to relax and enjoy the new little one. Fortunately things improved within two weeks, you'd never know know how difficult the beginning was, but it did seem forever. I hope there is better news today flaxseed and the little one settles into feeding dj, a big hug for you and your families.

Imperfect27 Mon 04-Sep-17 07:49:35

Flaxseed, I am so sorry your DD has had such an ordeal - and I know it can be very emotionally exhausting to watch and wait and feel so much is out of your control.

I had a traumatic birth with DD1 and she was carted off to special care, blue and in need of oxygen first of all - then jaundiced and needing the lamp treatment! Meanwhile I was left shell-shocked, no baby to hold and nursing a multitude of stitches - probably in shock for some time after.

BUT these times pass and there was the joy of her coming to the ward and then coming home with me within 5 days.

I do remember feeling extra weepy on about day 3/4 when my milk came in, hormones al over the place and so sore ... And I am thinking of your DD having to face this phase with more to deal with on top. Thank goodness she has you.

I hope for your DD that she goes from strength to strength and that the pain -physical and also disappointed expectations - is soon forgotten. xx

Flaxseed Mon 04-Sep-17 10:32:46

You are all so kind it makes me well up!

I am sorry so many of you or yourDD's/DIL's have experienced traumatic births. However, your stories also reassure me, as I am still feeling very emotional!
Needless to say, I am all smiles and being reassuring to the new parents!

DD has had treatment for anxiety in the past and I know that when she has time to reflect on this will feel very low.
I hope the hospital recommend some kind of service to be able to talk it through.
But considering most of the staff just seem to see the patients as a bit of a nuisance - it's doubtful hmm!!

Anyway, today's update is that there is another chance of them going home.
Baby is off phototherapy but needs bloods at 12 to check he is maintaining the right levels.
DD's BP is bordering on the higher side but she is due her meds so hopefully it will come down.
I am at work later so will hopefully get a chance to pop and see them if they are still in.

DD's main concern today is constipation poor thing!

DD1 has the help rota set up so that DD2 knows who is around to help at any given time over the next 4 weeks!

Flaxseed Mon 04-Sep-17 10:35:54

Cornergran - we were almost scared to feel excited

This. In a nutshell.

Flaxseed Mon 04-Sep-17 10:38:57

Imperfect - shell shocked

This too. Added to the nutshell smile

Swanny Tue 05-Sep-17 10:34:12

Flaxseed what news? Thinking of you all and sending (((hugs))) x

Jane10 Tue 05-Sep-17 11:02:30

Me too! I bet her BP will come down once she's back in a nice quiet comfortable house with you all rallying round. Best wishes to you all.

Flaxseed Tue 05-Sep-17 15:24:48

Hi
Thanks for asking.
They waited ages yesterday to get little one's bilirubin levels checked again. Then hours for the results.
They had already said DD was ok to go home and she was getting so stressed.
I thought she'd have a breakdown if they said she's got to stay another night she was ashen through lack of sleep.
It made me so angry, I went up to the poor, overworked paediatrician that I found on the ward and demanded he spoke to her!
Although the levels had risen, they were below the treatment level, so they were discharged with advice to put baby in front of the window and to feed him every three hours.

She burst into tears when they got home bless her!

Today they are all bonding smile
DD's partner did all the night feeds so DD could sleep and she feels much better today.

Flaxseed Tue 05-Sep-17 15:26:33

Sorry about punctuation!

Jane10 Tue 05-Sep-17 15:32:36

So glad to hear that! Time to rest, recover and get to know the baby. flowers

paddyann Tue 05-Sep-17 16:19:10

very pleased they are both home and on the mend ,now take care of yourself for a couple of days before you start looking after them again.You'll be no use to them if you're tired and stressed..take care

Newquay Tue 05-Sep-17 16:28:54

Phew-now let the fun begin! Presume baby bottle fed so you can all assist? Let the poor woman get some rest.

Swanny Tue 05-Sep-17 16:38:34

Such good news Flaxseed and such a relief for you all. Welcome home baby boy sunshine

Flaxseed Tue 05-Sep-17 18:48:19

Thank you, you lovely ladies.

It's been so nice to offload to someone uninvolved. I couldn't offload to my parents or DD1 as they were just as stressed!

DD started to breast feed but got too stressed with positioning due to pain from her scar and enormous boobs which almost suffocated the poor mite at first (he turned blue!) and she really needed us to help with feeding.

Also, the paediatricians said it is important for him to take a certain amount each feed to reduce the jaundice, something that she can now measure accurately.
Whilst I believe 'breast is best', I was not in the least disappointed that she decided to bottle feed as I totally respected her decision. And as she said
'Mum, Fed is best'

I think I have caught up on my sleep now and am trying really hard to not reflect on the last week and think 'what if'. It has constantly played on my mind and does really upset me.

I've missed seeing them today!
Looking forward to cuddles tomorrow though.

Thanks again
You are all so supportive!

Morgana Tue 05-Sep-17 18:52:10

D.D. had difficult birth with first baby. She asked to be given a debrief which helped her to get her head round what had happened. Congrats on all the new births.

cornergran Tue 05-Sep-17 20:11:45

Good news flaxseed, try not to dwell on what might have been - it wasn't! It's ok to be excited now, enjoy those cuddles. Really pleased for you all.

Flaxseed Tue 05-Sep-17 21:32:40

Morgana, I think they do offer something like a debrief, but I've heard it's also a bit of a 'covering their back' exercise hmm

Just got back from dropping pram off. DD looks amazing!

Her partner, who had hardly held a baby until his own, is feeding and changing him like a pro!

I held baby and just delighted in that new baby squirming and those cute facial expressions. And he's far less yellow than yesterday.
Love him to bits already grin

Jane10 Tue 05-Sep-17 21:49:57

Great to hear!

Lisalou Tue 05-Sep-17 21:51:45

Just caught up with this thread - wow Flaxseed! What an ordeal, your poor daughter - I am so glad it is all mending, and she and baby are finally home. They will both improve much better at home than in a blasted hospital.
Congratulations, Granny!!!

Deedaa Tue 05-Sep-17 21:57:38

I haven't joined in before because you seemed to have quite enough going on! So glad that everything's going well. I'm very pro breastfeeding, but in the end the important thing is a stress free happy mother. Far more important for the baby I think.

Luckygirl Tue 05-Sep-17 22:18:32

So glad they are all home and the full recovery can begin in the bosom of the family.

aggie Tue 05-Sep-17 22:19:45

I am another very pro breast feeding ..... but it is more important for a jaundiced baby to be fed often and your DD is so right , fed is definitely best . Congratulations xxx

grannyqueenie Tue 05-Sep-17 22:31:11

Glad to hear that things are looking brighter for that new little family. Isn't it lovely to watch young people transform into amazing parents, almost overnight, in front of your very eyes. It sounds like your daughter has made a really sensible decision about feeding. The last thing she needs is any worry or stress to stop her enjoying her new baby. So the real fun can at last begin flaxseed, enjoy every moment!

Auntieflo Wed 06-Sep-17 13:16:21

Flaxseed, just catching up on here. It is lovely that your DD and GS are now home, and getting to know one another. She has been through the mill, poor girl, as have you, on her behalf. So, wishing you all the best, onwards and upwards now.