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On labour ward. This is stressful!

(142 Posts)
Flaxseed Thu 31-Aug-17 02:24:57

DD was admitted last night after a check for decreased foetal movements revealed high blood pressure at 38 weeks.
She only moved to her first home last week so her hospital bag was at mine.
I brought it up to hospital and now can't bring myself to leave her.
She has cannulas, a catheter, bp monitoring, foetal monitoring, and regular medication.
I work here (not a Midwife) so it's good to see familiar faces but I am not used to being 'on the other side' and it's so scary.
Just looking for a hand hold really confused

Flaxseed Fri 01-Sept-17 17:55:33

Thanks again.
I know that we have lots to be grateful for, but I can't help just wanting to cry when I see DD looking so poorly.
I've just returned from the hospital before going back up for work later.

They have doubled her dose of medication to try and get her BP normal.
She has dark rings around her eyes through lack of sleep. She is totally exhausted.

Baby is quite content thank goodness.

I am not passing on my stress to DD though. I'm upbeat when I am up there!
DD had a bout of vomiting when I was there and a Midwife (not DD's Midwife) came in and starting moaning about the amount of stuff in the room hmm
Some of them are wonderful, some are quite frankly, bloody rude and uncaring.

DD and partner have cancelled visitors for tonight thank goodness.

Flaxseed Fri 01-Sept-17 17:57:33

DJ - I'm glad your DIL was able to go home after all!

Serkeen Fri 01-Sept-17 18:15:10

flaxseed it will be ok, your daughter is in the best place and this will soon be over with and you will be soon holding in your arms your new grandchild brew

grannysue05 Fri 01-Sept-17 18:24:45

Thinking about you all as you go through the night.
Lots of love.

mumofmadboys Fri 01-Sept-17 18:33:07

It is very rare indeed to happen in two pregnancies Paddyann. You were very unfortunate.

Anya Sat 02-Sept-17 08:25:00

I thought that having preeclampsia in a first pregnancy increases your risk of developing it again in a second or subsequent pregnancy?

Jane10 Sat 02-Sept-17 08:55:09

How are things today Flaxseed? I do hope you all had a good night's sleep and that your DD is much better.

MrsAllboys Sat 02-Sept-17 09:01:04

I don't think that is right Anya. Although it's not uncommon with first baby it is rarer in subsequent pregnancies. I had it with my first and I know others who also did....we all had subsequent pregnancies PET free. I do hope Flaxseed that things are beginning to improve for your daughter. It is very hard, as you say to watch your child suffer. I am sure your presence is a comfort to her. flowers

Flaxseed Sat 02-Sept-17 14:11:01

Thanks for your kind thoughts!
You might be sorry you asked!

So. I was able to spend lots of time with DD during the night. And thank goodness I could!
The poor patients are just left to just get on with it which is fine if you have access to everything, don't have pain and restricted movement from major abdominal surgery!
We had to keep a tally of the pain relief she'd had as no one seemed to know who had given what and when, had to even remind them to take her fluctuating BP hmm

I did see a lovely Midwife who was with her when she was admitted and she was discussing her blood results with me.
Suffice to say - DD was far more poorly than we were aware of. They said it's likely she will be predisposed to hypertension in the future sad

I'm angry today. Angry that her own midwife didn't take her seriously and ante natal (who were brill on admission) had told her that morning, when she rang for advice, that her symptoms were 'normal' and her body 'preparing itself for childbirth' angry

Why don't they listen to mum's who feel things are not right?

My anger turned to tears when I got home, exhausted. But I had a couple of hours sleep and feel less stressed now.

DD has gone to post natal ward this morning. Her BP is still unpredictable but on double meds.
She has showered and is more mobile.
Little man has learnt how to use his lungs and guzzle milk like a pro. His little milk induced drunken face melts me, and my DD makes me so proud it makes me well up.

And for any of you who read my very first post on Gransnet about finding out DD was pregnant and how worried I was about DD1's reaction (Gynae history) - I have to report that she is absolutely smitten and has been the most wonderful support.
She's currently in town buying up every blue outfit she sees as, in her words, 'I couldn't choose - so bought them all' grin

cornergran Sat 02-Sept-17 18:57:09

Thank you for taking the time to update us flaxseed. Goodness, what a roller coaster. Not surprised you were emotional. Why wouldn't you be? It sounds as if you believe your daughter has been let down by some medical professionals, perhaps best not to dwell on that now and think future. Being on the post natal ward feels like progress, I hope you feel your daughter gets the care she deserves there. Lovely you were able to spend time with her when she needed you. Your little grandson sounds to be thriving, how wonderful as is his Aunt's reaction to him. Hope his wardrobe can cope smile. So many positives, a day at a time for now perhaps, enjoy being a new Gran and please try not to worry too much.

paddyann Sat 02-Sept-17 23:31:38

my pregnancies that were affected by pre eclampsia were 10 years apart,it didn;t affect my first or third and pregnancies that only survived 3 months or less weren't affected (6 of those)...or not that I know of.I have had high blood pressure all my life since then and medication for it,it is quite rare for pregnancies other than the first to be affected BUT it is possible and your daughter should be aware it CAN happen more then once so she can be on the lookout for symtoms which might otherwise be ignored.I almost lost my life with my last pregnancy and was told in no uncertain terms that there mustn't be any more.Medicine has come a long way in those 30 years though so as long as shhe gets the right advice from professionals she will be fine.I was told that certain blood groups were more prone to it ,I'm A neg so she could check that out too.So pleased all is well with her and her wee one

Flaxseed Sat 02-Sept-17 23:50:04

It's an evil condition isn't it?!
I think this has put her off wanting another one!

Trouble is, her main symptoms on weds were the less well known ones!
I feel that women should be aware of those as well as the more well known ones like the BP, headaches and protein in wee. And I feel even more strongly that midwives should not be fobbing women off! hmm

If DD's bloods improve, she'll hopefully come home tomorrow.

Partners have to leave at 9 on post natal so this is her first night on her own which is a bit overwhelming as she's still finding it difficult to move!
She's still not slept.

I just want her to get home now so that we can let her catch up on her sleep undisturbed and heal and enjoy the little man smile

Flaxseed Sat 02-Sept-17 23:51:57

I think her blood group is A+ like me

NfkDumpling Sun 03-Sept-17 07:19:26

I'm so glad she may be able to come home today, things will improve a lot quicker then. DD1 was let down in a very similar way nine years ago (last month), you'd have thought things would have improved by now.

DD1 was so anxious about 'getting out' that she developed White Coat Syndrome. Her BP seemed to be higher than her health implied it should be, so the doctor sneaked back in half an hour after taking it and took it again before it shot through the ceiling again. Worth a try if your DDs BP hasn't gone down enough.

Flaxseed Sun 03-Sept-17 08:22:38

I think her BP is high again this morning through stress of post natal ward! It sounds horrendous! Even if your own baby is sleeping, another one is screaming! So four nights without sleep must have an affect on her health!
They know what she's been through yet put her in a four bed bay when I feel she should have had a side room.

I do wonder about the young staff now hmm

When I trained, we were expected to be compassionate and I truly believe I still am. I ALWAYS treat patients as if they are my own relative as do many of my older colleagues. Unfortunately, we seem to be in the minority these days, as I witness far too many cases of apathy and dispassion.
I don't know why people chose a medical career if they don't give a damn - it's certainly not for the money!!

Swanny Sun 03-Sept-17 10:53:18

Flaxseed I replied to your update yesterday but it seems to have gone to the back of beyond grin Hope the new mum is well enough to go home, she will find it so much less stressful. When she's had some sleep, even if it's only in 2 hour snatches for a bit, everything will seem better. You must all be feeling tired too.

So pleased to hear DD1 is single-handedly keeping the baby shops in business as she buys up all the blue outfits in town grin I remember your post when you expressed your concern for her. Sounds like she'll be a brilliant auntie flowers

Luckygirl Sun 03-Sept-17 11:27:46

Flaxseed - sorry to hear that your DD's care is leaving something to be desired - that is not acceptable. And as to being "fobbed off" - as I said upthread, the community midwife actually put my DD's high BP down to a faulty machine as she could not believe it was really that high. Boy did I have to bite my tongue!

It is a tough time for all, but there is one healthy, happily guzzling little boy there, so hang on to that! Your DD will recover soon and the worst will be over. You will all look back on this one day whilst chatting to a happy wee man.

grannyqueenie Sun 03-Sept-17 14:17:48

Flaxseed what a hard time you're all having and just not the start you'd wish for that new little family. Hopefully things we'll settle soon and they can all be at home where life will be a bit less stressful. Just the thought of spending a night listening to several crying newborns would be enough to send my bp sky high!

Flaxseed Sun 03-Sept-17 21:19:57

They couldn't come home sad

BP meds have had to be increased again and now the baby is having phototherapy for jaundice.

DD is resigned to having to stay in and survive on 30 minute snatches of sleep. I don't know how she's doing it! I'm exhausted and I did finally catch up on sleep last night.

Luckygirl - to say a BP machine must be wrong when its reading that high in a pregnant woman beggars belief!

I was talking to a friend today who had pre eclampsia 24 years ago with her DD (my DD's school friend)
She said everything sounded so familiar and how she had hoped that things would have improved with the passage of time. Sadly, it seems not.
Her friend volunteers at the hospital ( as part of SANDS I think) helping bereaved parents and said there are still far too many babies being stillborn due to these kinds of conditions.

I just don't understand why this evil condition is still getting missed in the 21st century!

Flaxseed Sun 03-Sept-17 21:24:58

Luckygirl, did your DD's BP go down quickly after delivery? Her experience sounds horrendous confused

Swanny Sun 03-Sept-17 21:40:56

When DS was born nearly 50 years ago, jaundice a few days after birth was quite common. I thought they would have sorted that by now. So sorry to hear your DD's meds have had to be increased - is there any chance of her getting a side room to herself? Crying newborn babies are like unanswered telephones to me - why doesn't someone answer them?

annsixty Sun 03-Sept-17 21:44:27

I am so sad for you and your D and her partner that what should be such a joyful and happy time is being marred by the experiences they are facing. It is good that the baby is safe and well but it will always be remembered as a stressful time.
I hope they forget quickly once she is home and they can start to enjoy family life together.

Icyalittle Sun 03-Sept-17 21:46:15

Flaxseed I came on to say congratulations on your new little DGS but I am so sorry your DD is still struggling with her bp. I really hope it will settle soon and they will be home and can rest, both of them. I can relate to so much you have experienced with some nursing staff though, when my DD had her first by ECS - unbelievable at times, almost a wilful lack of care and compassion. Only some, most were great, but it makes illness so much worse than it could and should be. Chin up, home soon, and your 2 weeks with them is getting closer all the time.
Congratulations to Durhamjen too, I'm glad your DGS and his mother are home safely.

durhamjen Sun 03-Sept-17 23:39:02

Thanks, Icyalittle.

He lost over ten per cent of his birthweight, so is now on an intensive feeding programme, which means breastfeeding him, expressing, then feeding by syringe. It takes an hour for every feed, so I feel sorry for his poor mum.
I'm sure it will only be for a few days, or at least we hope so.

Elrel Sun 03-Sept-17 23:57:23

Congratulations to Flaxseed and Durhamjen on their new grandchildren. All good wishes for the health of the babies and their mothers.