On labour ward. This is stressful!

So glad they are now home and you have so much joy before you all.

In time, I think your DD will benefit from talking through the birth scenario with you - and likely, with other mums too as sadly there are many who seem to have a traumatic time that is a complete departure from their birth plan. Talking will help process the trauma. I worried that my own DD would be vulnerable to post-natal depression because of her experiences, but she has been fine as was I - a listening ear and a shed load of empathy make all the difference.

And now the love affair begins ...

Thanks everyone,
I was there when DD's Midwife came out today. She was going through her notes and said 'you were one step away from Eclampsia' And 'did anyone suggest you might have had HELPP syndrome?'

I looked both up and have felt really depressed since!

She said any further pregnancy will be completely consultant led.

I am really struggling with 'what could have been'

How can I shake it off? Will it just take time?

Yes, time. You have been through trauma too. Keep looking at that DGS and your DD now home and hopefully all going as smoothly as it can now.

I know I was 'fragile' for a couple of weeks after my DD gave birth. Keep getting those cuddles in = - you will 'shake it off'.

xx

Flaxseed I am really struggling with 'what could have been' But thankfully it wasn't, so try to put it in that memory box you don't want to open again

Focus on DD and her beautiful boy - he was determined to get here

Yes, you are right. They are here and getting better

I am also suffering 'empty nest syndrome' as DD2 only moved into their new home 10 days before baby was born.
I do miss her!

But tonight I have , so all is ok for now

Flaxseed Cheers! I'm raising my glass in a toast to you and all your precious family.

A neighbour told me recently that in his country a man's wealth is measured not by how much money he has but by the emotional strength of his family. Sounds to me like you're a millionaire

That made me well up swanny!

Cheers!

That's really nice Swanny and so true!

I think the older the baby gets and the more interesting his life becomes the more thoughts of what might have been will fade into the background. There will just be so much other stuff going on.

DD came close to death when she was a year old and, although I have long stopped thinking about it, even 40 years later I sometimes look at her and the GSs and realise that they might never have been. You never totally forget.

Sorry to pipe up again

But I've had yet another worrying weekend where DD's blood pressure has swung all over the place.

I am going to her GP's with her tomorrow where I hope they can sort out her medication.
The emergency dr's this weekend have been totally inconsistent.

DD has put up a Facebook status to highten awareness of this awful disease and it's brought it all back to me.

I'm still feeling feeling upset and angry that signs were missed, unable to shake off the 'what could have happened', and concern for her health at the moment.

DD wants to see her friends, take baby out in his pram, do things.... instead shes been told she must rest, is surrounded by medication, and sorting out lifts to numerous appointments

I think you must feel, quite rightly, that this time which should be one of joy and happiness is marred by what happened and as you say the feeling of " what if". We went through a similar situation with my first GC and I must say that time takes a lot of coming to terms with. So I totally empathise with you and wish you all well.
It will get better.

Flaxseed so sorry to hear of the continuing problems with your DD's BP. She must be glad to have you by her side. My best wishes to all of your family that they can soon settle down and enjoy the wonder of that special little boy.

Flaxseed I've been away for a few days and came here expecting to hear happy tidings. How are you all? I do hope things have settled and your DD is able to enjoy her dear little boy's arrival at last x

Thank you for asking Swanny.

BP is still unpredictable! But readings are more good than not so good. DD hasn't been able to decrease her medication yet but have been told it could take up to 6 weeks to settle.
She is frustrated at not being able to drive but I have two weeks off now so am more than happy to spend time helping her out. DD1 has been a wonderful help the last two weeks and hated going back to work today.

Today was exhausting!
I'd forgotten what it's like getting out and about with a baby. DD met someone when we were out today and said that the hospital stay was a bit of a blur, and how she didn't feel as though the baby was even hers during that period.
That was a bit upsetting to hear, but it's quite obvious that she's bonded with him now. However, I will broach the subject, as I'm not sure she'd tell me if she felt low at all.
From what I can see though, she's taken to motherhood like a duck to water!
I am amazed at all the new things they have for babies now, everything is so different!
We've been talking bedroom temperatures/gro bags/suitable clothing under gro bags.
There's so much to think about!

One question for you and anyone else who might be reading.
I find myself worrying about EVERYTHING since little mans arrival. Far more than when DD's were babies!
I'm now wondering if I have anxiety or if this is just a part of a grandparents job description?!

Rest assured (if you can!) this is all part of being a grandmother! As a new mother many years ago I coped at the time with whatever arose. As a Grandma I panicked at every turn, particularly when I lived 70 miles away!! When DDIL needed (financially) to return to work, I retired and moved near them to help. I was lucky - I was old enough to do so and found somewhere decent I could afford on my pension. Best thing I ever did! It's been a privilege to be a part of all their lives ever since and brought a new dimension to the relationship I already had with my DS. Enjoy and look forward to C*****mas

Nooooooo! Don't mention the 'C' word Swanny!!

How lovely that you were able to move closer to your GC.
I'm lucky that both DD's are less than 5 miles away.

And thanks for confirming that granxiety is a recognised condition and that I'm not going mad yet