Children or G.children - who do you care for most?

I adore them all but if I am totally honest, the one who makes my heart turn over when I see him waiting for me on a station platform is my first born.

The moment my DS was born I fell hopelessly in love with him, and the moment I first saw my DGS I fell for him too!
I love them both with every fibre of my being, equally!
DH and I both love having DGS with us three days every week and often overnight at weekends. We were both working full time when DS was a baby, so it's wonderful having enough time to really enjoy DGS!

Going against the flow here, I loved and still love my DS and DD, but am besotted with love for my 4 DC, as they run to greet me their little arms out wanted to be picked up and cuddled, being told they love me and I'm the best grandma in the world (the saying you love your children but are in love with your grandchildren fits me perfectly).

I have 1 DD, 1 DS and 2 DGDs (DD is their mother). Love them all equally.

I think Sheilasue she is right in saying that you feel differently about a GC you have helped raise.
My DD ,sil and newly born GS came to live with me 11 years ago after my DH died.
My DD went back to work shortly after giving birth and I looked after my GS.
Because of this I developed the same bond as we do with our own children which is borne out of daily contact.

Love is a very strange thing. I never had that immediate rush of love for my first born son but experienced it 3 years later when his brother was born - I love them both the same now of course. When the eldest's daughter was born however the minute I saw her when she was only 2 hours old that bond was there but when her sister was born it wasn't - it grew over time. Now 20 and 16 they're both wonderful girls and although we don't see much of them due to distance love them to bits and would do anything for them. Strangely when my youngest son's wife became pregnant I felt that same emotion when I saw the first scan but as they emigrated before my grandson was born never had the chance to bond with him or his little brother born 2 years later. Now 4 and 2 they are coming for Christmas for 6 weeks and although extremely excited at the prospect of spending time with them I'm really hoping we do have the same feelings as we have for their cousins.

When G.D.1 was here recently she came into bed for a cuddle and it seemed to me that she was the most precious thing in my life. I don't think I love her more than my kids, but she was a miracle baby and to feel that spark of new life (she is still a toddler) was just overwhelming.

My husband is the person I love more than anyone else but I love my children and grandchildren very much, children more than grandchildren? No, both the same, they all have my blood.

Chewbacca, you have it in one. Perhaps one could also say that the cake of love just gets bigger, the more people you add to it. ?

I understand totally Mercedes. That’s exactly how I feel/felt and it’s nothing to do with ‘portions’ or ‘sharing out’ the love. You can’t help what you do or don’t feel. Perhaps if they lived nearer and I saw them on a regular basis it might have been different. However, last week when they were over and I walked into Grandads house, little DGD shouted “Nanny!”, ran up to me and gave me a big hug and a kiss. Now that was a magical moment! I’ll never forget it. So despite what I didn’t feel in the beginning I’ve got a loving strong relationship with her now.

I totally agree Franburn. I love my grandchildren very much, but not so much as I love my own children. They will always come first to me.

sluttygran I couldn't have put it better. I love my DD & my 2 DGS. I didn't get that overwhelming burst of love at DGS's birth, don't get me wrong I loved them but I'm not a "must have a cuddle" Nanny, but my DD knows this. When they start interacting there is no-one more "hands on" than me. I also love my DiL & DM.

I have 4 Step-GC, the older 2 are lovely, well brought up young people who I love along with Step-D. The younger 2 were unruly, badly behaved & rude children, poorly disciplined. My DH & I were gradually losing touch with his S before my DH died. I now have no contact with Step-S & family

I don't think I realised what love was until I had my son when I was 22, it was the most wonderful feeling and nearly 40yrs later I still love him just the same.
However when our granddaughter was born 10yrs ago I was surprised at how little emotion I felt towards her, she was very nice, but she could have been anyone's baby. Now she is 10 and I love her to bits, but I always wonder why I had that problem when she was first born!

I think that the reason Grandparents and grandchildren get along so well is that they have a common 'enemy' !!

I love my children very much, and the GC are an extension of that. Love is extremely elastic - it stretches to fit the whole family very snugly!

I have friends who told me before I had grandchildren that they did not love their grandchildren as much as their own children. I found when my granddaughter was born I loved her immediately and felt she was part of me almost in the same way as my children are. Of course the relationship is different as I do not see her day to day and I am not responsible for bringing her up but I love her unconditionally just as I love my children. And no it is not a silly question - we are all different.

I adore my children and grandchildren all the same, there is no difference at all.

Lucky girl, Bluebelle, I like your responses!
Who's measuring for goodness sake?!

oops I used to say the "I'll always love you but right now I dont like you very much" to my daughter when she was being really naughty ....I thought it was being honest.We have and have always had a very close relationship ,sometimes I think she shares too much information with me,some things I'd rather not know..lol.I have the same bond with the GC ,I looked after all 4 since they were babies ,job shared with my daughter so we had the children for equal time during the week .When my eldest GD started school I missed her every bit as much as I missed my daughter when she started school .Like others have said ,love expands to include people ..the more little people the more love there is to share

I have 2 grandsons, one who has lived with me for 14 years and who I adore and one who has just turned 2 and is so cute. Different feelings but still love. I love all of my children in different ways. As they've become adults some of their behaviours I've found upsetting and not what I approve of but I still love them dearly.

There is always enough love to go round - I love my DS and my DD with all my heart; I could not possibly love them more than I do, and I feel exactly the same way about the GC. Each one is loved dearly, and when the GC came along it didn't diminish my love for and pride in my children. They are all my children - I can't see it any other way, and it puzzles me when people say (as my Mother did) 'You will have to back off now that I have a GC'. That hurt - and I don't see that it was necessary in any way. The people who put their GC at centre stage probably did just the same when their children were small - pushy parents presumably become pushy grandparents unless they have a personality change.

lesley4357, I feel much the same. My very temperamental DD has a very temperamental DD and when she rings me up to moan, I have to have a chuckle about karma. The difference being I back my DD up in her efforts whilst my DM worked hard to replace me so would undermine me every step of the way.
My DS has a little boy very much like him and I am continually reminded of his ways and my other DS as he grows up. I love both my DGC equally but, just as my relationships are different with all my children, so are my relationships with them. If it looks like I love my DGC more than my DC, it is only because they are more vulnerable, cuddleable and adoring; my DC and I have a more mature love which doesn't include the cuddling and sloppy kisses!

I too, love my daughter more than her children, but it has made me reflect back on my own mum. When my daughter was 8 or 9, my mum 'needed' me to travel a good distance to be with while she went through a difficult time. When I agreed and added that I'd be bringing my daughter (her GD) as well, she flew into a near rage! She ONLY wanted me to come. I was confused and upset at the time, but now I think I understand perfectly!

Well if you had to raise your gc how would you feel then.
I promised my son I would look after his d and I have, no one can take away the love I have for my d who is our rock, or our son who did in 2007 but I love my gc as if she was my own as she was very young when she came to live with us.

One of the reasons I love my gcs so much is that it's like having my daughter all over again. Not a competition just different.