Children or G.children - who do you care for most?

I agree totally Franbern, I adore my grandchildren, but I don't love them more than my children. They aren't my responsibility, they are the bonus of my old age!

I love 'em all! - I have not quantified it! - and can see no reason to.

I would say I love them equally, but the responsibility for their upbringing is not mine,( unless Nanny is babysitting !) so I do feel a slightly less intense version of love & am happy to relinquish that overwhelming sense of responsibility that comes with child care/ rearing, in fact I am scared of forgetting the do's & don'ts issued by the parents when I am in charge of DGC.

My daughter is the person I love most in this world. Always has been, and always will be.

Completely agree with Luckygirl I couldn't possibly choose I love them all so very much

When I went to the hospital after my daughter had her baby I went straight to my daughter to see how she was before looking at my grandchild.
I love them all, but I suppose really I put my children first.

I agree Franbern, my husband and children are my most loved.

Imo, the loves are different because, as norose says, there isn't that sense of responsibility with our gc, except when we're babysitting. I don't really see how the two can be compared, and I don't try. I love them all - that's it.

It’s not a competition ...daft question imo

Of course it isn't a competition BlueBell but I'm not sure it's a daft question. I'm besotted with my grandchildren, I get so much fun and enjoyment out of them but - my own children haven't been put on the back burner or reduced to 2nd citizens.

Oh for an edit button. I want to add that some grandparents do seem to elevate their grandchildren to centre stage, that is to some kind of higher importance than their own adult children, the grandchildrens' parents.

Actually I'm quite alarmed by the obsessive/possessive love that two people I know have for their grandchildren. One of them is definitely working at the breakdown of her daughter's marriage so that daughter and grandchild will come home to live with her.
The other daydreams about the child being left an orphan and she will bring her up

Eglantine, that is appalling. I love all three of our children dearly. Our grandchildren are very dear to me, but we have not had the input and closeness that we had with our children, due to the distance at which they live from us. Now that we are great grandparents and my heart is overflowing with love. We will not see them often, the love is different, but nothing will surpass my love for our children.

I don t think you can approportion love out you either love with your every bit of being or not. To me love doesn’t involve percentages
I only know if any of my children or grandchildren needed a kidney or something I d give any of them I wouldn’t think ‘well I d give to that one but maybe not that one’ so as far as that’s concerned I feel l love them all as my flesh and blood
Eglantine your story is appalling

I agree with you, BlueBelle. Love isn’t something that’s limited, to be shared out. I’ve never understood how anyone can love one of their children more than another. To my mind this is the same situation. I love them all, totally and unconditionally.

Your friends sound a bit unhinged, Eglantine. I’d back away slowly, if I were you.

I love my DS to his very bones and that hasn't diminished or changed in any way since the 2 GC arrived. I love both of my GC too, just as much. But love isn't a cake whereby the more people there are in your life; the slices of cake get smaller. The cake of love just gets bigger. a very clunking analogy there but you get my drift

I was definitely 'surprised by love' for my GS. I just didn't realise l would love him so very much. But l haven,'t compared the loves l have ...different relationships, different bonds, but the same depths of love l think.

I haven't had contact with GC for 10 mths now. Of course I would dearly love to see or even speak to them but I'm not as devastated as I would be not to have contact with D for that long.

Never compared. Different types of relationships. I just love all my family with all my heart.

Love both my DC with all my heart. Same with my DGC. All of them mean the world to me and DH. Pretty fond of both my DIL's too.

I love my children more than anything else, but love my grandchildren as part of them. It isn't the same though because you are not making choices for them or being immersed in their daily upbringing in the same intense way.

I also don't think you can apportioned love. I never thought I could love another women's children as much as my own and was wonderfully surprised when my grandchildren arrived and I did. The joy of having a baby/child in the family is fabulous. Watching my my own children nurturing and loving their children gives me such a feeling of contentment and pride. I feel so lucky to have loved and been so loved by them all.

Having my DGC was like having my boys again- just without all the hard work & sleepless nights. Youngest is image of his Dad & just the same cheeky character. All 6 are amazing- even the 'problem' older DGD
I don't think I have ever thought about which I love most- I just adore them all & am so very lucky to have them near enough to see them regularly- something I never take for granted.
I love seeing my boys doing & saying the things I said to & did with them to their own children- it's magic.