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Marylane, I'm sorry you've had so much loss in your life, some of it way too early. It's understandable if that's left you a little "needy." xx

I agree with those who say that 19s are very involved in their own lives and have gps on the back burner. Also, I've noticed that fewer people send thank you notes or emails these days. Yes, they "should" but they don't. Sometimes the younger adults in my family say thank you by a facebook message, but that's it.

Are you on fb? Is gd? Are you "friends" with her there? You might maintain better contact with her that way.

Was she upset by her abortion? Has she gotten over it? Just because she chose to end her pregnancy, it doesn't mean she's not grieving the loss. Maybe this accounts for the change in behavior?

Anyway, I'd say you have a choice to make. Either continue to send her gifts, expecting no thank yous or just send a card, from now on, and leave it at that.

Smileless, please don't "punish" friends 3rd ac for what the other two did. She may be completely different. I don't blame you if you never gift the other two again, but please give the 3rd one a chance.

No one should have to play "piggy in the middle" between an ac and other relatives. Dd is an adult even if she doesn't always act like one. Let your mum know that you're not responsible for dd's behavior and refuse to be put in the middle anymore. After that, if mum still complains, say, "That's a shame," and change the subject. Just my thoughts.

Oh hey, that last comment was for meandshy. Forgot to say. Sorry about that.

She has walked out of your life because she is young and has a full life and may have problem's in her life that are distracting her

If you want her in your life the effort is going to need to come from YOU

You make the effort go see her call her if she does not pick up call again til she does

You say Mum has mental health issues not a good thing for your GD to have to deal with or live with day in day out you don't know what is going on in the household --just looking at the bigger picture

I think your a lovely caring GM but maybe u r focusing on urself a little too much NOT saying that in a bad way I have done the same

Make the effort sweet she probably needs your support