minding GC stopped for extra nursery hours

what comes to mind is a great saying from my best friend as follows " I AM A MUSHROOM KEEP ME IN THE DARK ANF FEED ME SHIT" Yes that sums it up, its telling lies I cannot stand. Sadly my family values have now all gone from society.

maybe its just me but I NEVER consulted my parents about my children and I wouldn't expect my kids to consult me .I'm here to help IF and when needed ,but its their children and them who should make the decisions ...not me .I think a lot of grans on here forget that its not their kids.

franticnana - I bet they didn't like to tell you in case you were upset, that's why they left it to the last minute. Your reaction is proving them right, too. And they all use mobile phones to communicate these days, it's the norm, so don't let that upset you. As other have said, things change all the time with children and, also as others have said, when they reach 12 or thereabouts you rarely see them at all and the next thing you get is an invitation to their wedding! It's sad, but it's life. Children do grow up. In fact, if they didn't, you'd have a lot more to worry about than you do now. Sorry to sound harsh but you mustn't let this get to you so much.

There is such a thing as courtesy and sensitivity to other people's feelings. I can quite understand why the OP was hurt that she was merely informed of this arrangement without an prior warning. It probably isn't worth having a confrontation about it but I think it's a bit unkind of other posters to imply that the OP is making something out of nothing.

They may not have to have consulted the OP about putting GC in nursery and to an extent I understand how some think you should smile sweetly and accept the situation.
I would not only have been hurt I would have been very angry. I would think it is very rare a nursery place comes up with just 24 hours notice. I think it suitedparents to keep quiet until then.

Hmmm. Nursery school or grandparents? Which would be the loving, caring ones focused on the child caregivers? IMO I would pic the grandparents. For some reason maybe they thought that their child needed to be with other children for socialization. I would not pick that though. There is plenty of time for that. What I would do is say that you would be happy to still babysit at night or when they have vacations from school. Also you could ask to take your GC after school for dinner.
Or take

her on planned day trips in the summer

I think it’s the lack of acknowledgment of what you have done dor them that maybe what hurts. You asked how to handle it - all I can add is that I would have eaten the food and enjoyed the treats (or given them to another child) rather than thrown them away!

When grandchild got an extra nursery day, other grannie, DDiL and I renegotiated the week, alternating weekly arrangements. For GC to have good relationships with grandparents is to to everyone's advantage.

Extra nursery days often seem to come up at very short notice.

Is it not possible for yourself and the other gran to have grandchild every other week so that you both get equal time?

franticnana,I can really understand the hurt you are feeling. You feel you have been ditched despite all you have done. I also feel that this is thoughtless behaviour by the parents: they juggle busy working lives with rearing children and forget we have feelings for our GC and enjoy being with them. They might have felt they were doing you a favour as your health is not so good! Who knows?! Now if this was a working environment and we were treated like that without explanation, wouldn't we arrange a meeting to discuss? And I think if I were you I'd do this. It's amazing how explanations on both sides clarify a situation.

This is absolutely no slight meant to you. Children eventually begin nursery and then school. This day maybe the only one the nursery has. EVentually the child will attend on the other granny dy. This is just a natural course and you are still vital to your grandchild. Offer to collect or take, When the child strts school you will be invited on activity days sports days etc. HArd I know. Perhaps you could have been a lot better communicated with but busy parents these days just occasionally forget the small courtesies that oil the wheels. Best wishes to you.

Maybe they felt it was too much for you with the journey and everything.

This is absolutely no slight meant to you. Children eventually begin nursery and then school. This day maybe the only one the nursery has. EVentually the child will attend on the other granny dy. This is just a natural course and you are still vital to your grandchild. Offer to collect or take, When the child strts school you will be invited on activity days sports days etc. HArd I know. Perhaps you could have been a lot better communicated with but busy parents these days just occasionally forget the small courtesies that oil the wheels. Best wishes to you.

You wait ,when GC gets sick they’ll soon come running!
The answer is for both sets of GPS to have GC alternative weeks. In any event you need to discuss this with parents.

The extra information given by the OP makes the me agree with NotToOld. They had the perfect opportunity to tell her when she said to GC that they'd see him on Monday. I still think she should ask about making new arrangements, but only if she can have that conversation without complaining about what happened.

Perhaps they foresaw the op's reaction and wanted to avoid it and felt the best way was to tell it by phone. If the parents also were thinking the travelling was getting too much for you as your health is not good being on tablets. Perhaps they were feeling that they were treading on eggshells with you and a phone call was best. Give yourself a treat on the day you normally see your Dgc .

I understand your hurt, but your posts make me think that your family knew you would be upset and react badly so they chickened out.

TBH I think you are over-reacting a bit - throwing away food and treats has a really angry feel to it - they could have been eaten or the treats saved for another time. And criticising your family for being "entitled" and on their mobile phones is a bit harsh and makes me feel that underneath you are angry with them about other things.

Please take a deep breath and try and stand back a bit. I know it is hard when our role in the GCs lives changes and reduces, but the important thing is to stay friends with the parents and enjoy the times when you do see them. They need your support and love, and this does not have to be in the form of child care; it can be general encouragement and positive endorsement of their decisions.

If I were in OP shoes I think I would be asking myself why they found themselves unable to tell me face to face and had to do it by text and after they had visited.
Judging by her actions with dumping things in the bin and wording of the post I cannot imagine that you are easy to deal with or easy to tell things to if they know it's going to upset you . Maybe the plan was to tell you face to face but they chickened out and you might need to ask yourself why.
Do you normally overreact to things or get easily upset.

Haha great minds and all that luckygirl.

I totally agree with your last post franticnanait could have and should have been handled better.

I wonder how they'd have felt if you'd given them less than 24 hours notice that you could no longer look after your GC.

I too am surprised icanhandthemback that so many responses advise taking this in your stride and not expressing how you feel. It's a very sad state of affairs when parents of AC feel unable to talk things through with them and are advised against doing so, especially when there often appears to be little or no regard for their feelings.

Can now see that you are angry as well as upset, please let this go, you have years of grand parenting and there will be so many changes, yes they couldn't tell you face to face and that is a shame for you. I know its hard but try and keep calm and you will probably find some babysitting or days out come your way, you have finished with the weekly day unless of course another small person comes along! You mention your health and despite what we think our children do sometimes notice and act.

Really no point in getting upset and keeping tabs on who is doing what. Yes, more notice would have been good but it didn't happen so time to move on. Equally it would probably be a good idea not to focus so much on the GC seems to be too much pressure all round.

Do you have any relationship with them that doesn't involve the child? My children and I communicate about all sorts,of stuff that doesn't involve the grandchildren and go out and do things without them. It seems a bit claustrophobic when the grab hold is the centre of everything.