Feeling jealous of the other grandparents.

Ignore it! Jealousy of the other GPs is not a god route to go down. And don't comment on their silly comments; and don't compete with gifts etc. Play it cool - you are as good as they are in your own individual way. Just don't let it bug you.

good

I agree, unless the oldest children are saying things in any kind of taunting way ( am sure they are not) then just say ‘Oh yes?’ When they they tell you something, in a slightly disinterested way.
This btw is what a friend of mine did in a similar situation, when her DGD aged 12 was constantly saying how wonderful the other Grandma was, and what she bought for her.It soon stopped!

Has it occurred to you that your DGC are probably telling their paternal grandparents about all the things that you do.

'My other grandma doesn't do it like THAT'.

Their paternal grandparents are new to them, of course they are going to be excited to tell you all about them. Join in their conversations and excitement, tell them how lucky they are to have two sets of grandparents who love them so much. They will soon see that grandparents are a team and not two rival football teams fighting over the same 3 football stars.

Good advice MOnica. Don't allow yourself to become part of a game Nannawind. Tell your GC how happy you are they have so many people in their lives that love them and things will soon settle down to normal I'm sure.

Thank you for your comments, I'll try and follow the advice given. It will be hard but I have to remember the DGC are just that children.

Don’t see it as a competition- the more people who love your GC the better. If they say”the OGP have bought us.....”just say “you’re so lucky aren’t you?” And move on. Your GC have had a lot of disruption in their lives and if their Dad and his parents are making a fuss of them, that’s all to the good.

What everyone else has said!

And, as you said, they are only children, you are the grown up. It's the novelty value.

yeh I think so - can't help wondering whether having been ignored by them when they were younger that they are just sharing their joy with you and expect you to be happy for them...becuase they trust you. Say -' wow, that's brilliant.' I think that's why; they are not thinking about you, just their own happiness. That's what children do. Certainly they wouldn't imagine that they are hurting you. And you know, we all know, life doesn't work on fairness lines - we just have to find out how to cope with that

I would just be glad they enjoy going, imagine if they didnt and were upset everytime they had to.

This is said in then nicest way with no malice intended.

It's so funny you look forward and are excited to become grandparents but it's also a minefield that you don't upset someone, you have to learn to smile and keep your opinions to yourself, whilst hurting inside.

Similar situation but we refuse to compete and let them get on with it, though as you said it can hurt at times. As they get older the children will see through anything that is not genuine and it is possibly a novelty still to young children - they can be impressed quite easily but also very fickle. Just keep being the grand parents you have always been and it will work itself out.

nanawind, I'm sorry you are hurting but it's not like that for everyone.

Maybe the other GPs are trying to mae up for the years they have not had contact so often with the children and just going a wee bit over the top.
Don't worry about it you DGCs know you love them unconditionly no matter what thats all thats important

I live far away from my grandchildren ( 300 miles ) and only get to see them a few times a year. They live in the same town and the other gps and see them often (one daily as looked after from school ) I do have a pang now and again but I'm pleased they have good people in their life so I suppress those thoughts down. Could you try to see it that way and embrace the conversation when they tell you those things.

The ex husband probably won't live with the other grandparents for ever so the situation may change in the future. If they haven't had so much contact before, they are probably over compensating now.

I'd say concentrate on your own relationship with your GC and forget about them. If they make hurtful remarks tell them so and point out it's not a competition, no mater what you have or give them you love them just as much if not more. I'd make a joke of it and say something like 'yes, but I'm better looking and I make the best cupcakes or whatever your good at ever'.

I suspect the other grandparents are making the most of what was probably an unexpected opportunity to have the GC around especially if they were unable to keep in touch when the marriage broke down. I am sure their son will move on eventually and everything will calm down. Children are as good at playing games as anybody and do probably say similar things to the other side, try not to let it get to you.

I go through this regularly as my dgd tells me how much the other grandparents buy her and what they do. They have a posh car and plenty money and im alone and have to scrimp but im learning to find alternatives. For instance i bake and make things with dgd which is something the others dont do. So totally sympathise with the op.

Don't see my GC. We are lower class to DiL s family. My DS told me he didn't want to see any Xmas or birthday presents to himself now he has children. Then see messages of FiL asking what he wanted for Xmas. We just crawl back into our hole and when I die GC are beneficiaries. Missing a generation out.

Try not to see this as a competition to get jealous about.

Of course the kids like going to the other GP's home - their dad lives there! It's daddy's home!

To be honest it says more about the grandchildren than about you or the other grandparents. They ought not to be making these comparisons and I wonder where they've learnt it from.

As adults, when the GC look back they will remember 2 sets of grandparents, each who offered them something different.
To new grandparents, try to build a good relationship with the other set at the earliest possible time. Hopefully it will offer the parents and GC more support; and if there are bumps in the road ahead, it might make things smooth out more easily.

It says that they're children, and children's heads are turned by nice things. Also a lot of adults heads are too.
It can take years to realise that material things simply don't matter.