Feeling jealous of the other grandparents.

I thought I'd laughably children that material things dont matter. It is who you are. It is a pity that the children are comparing but just be happy you see them. Dad will probably move to his own place and usual visiting to OGP will resume. Did they see a lot of them when dad was not there. Did they do comparisons then. Perhaps dad is pointing things out to children or asking what you have. Hope it stops real soon

MARNIE

What a sad affair.
When your children marry or get together with a partner, they have a balancing act to perfect. Their chief concerns are wife/husband/partner and any children. You have no idea whether their marriage is under strain or financial worries they may have. Life is not always as it appears to the casual visitor, he might be using you as his whipping boy.
Go about your own life and fill it with as many happy interludes as time and money allow and remember, your GC will not necessarily spend any inheritance wisely. Don't leave yourself without some pleasures simply to give GC something when you're gone. I'm having fun whilst I'm LIVING not leaving a bundle of money to others who are earning their own money.

Sympathies OP Just keep on doing what you've always done - involving your GC in stuff and supporting your DD. If your GC refer to the whatever their other GPs have done, just say how nice and bite your lip.

I can relate. My GD only had us in her life for her first four years. Then bridges were mended and the other grandparents came on the scene. I do find it hard, hearing about the presents being bought, the parties held at their house etc., What can you do but grin and bear it and say nothing. My GD will not remember that they weren't always there. For her that's how it should be.

I was putting out some oven chips, straight kind, watched by youngest DGS when he announced Granny X always has CRINKLE chips o'h dear thats children for you!

Agree that you shouldn't worry if your gc express enjoyment of the other gps' gifts or their visit there. They shouldn't be making comparisons, though, and I think the 11 yr old is old enough to know that, if not the others. Imo, dd needs to prevent it by talking to them before they see you or in general ("It's rude to tell someone that another person's things are better. Don't do that.") But there's not much you can do about that.

Thinking about it again, I don't see why you can't say, "That's a rude comment,' yourself if it's directed at you and dh or "That hurts my feelings. Why are you being rude to me?" One can't discipline someone else' child, but one can stand up for oneself. The kids may be testing the limits to this gp business, and that will show them right where they are.

But it seems they're only seeing the pgps more now because their dad is living there. Once he moves out again, they will probably be there much less.

They are maybe going overboard making more of an effort to make up for all the years of grandparent neglect ! Getting rid of their guilt maybe

Thanks for your replies. The OGP only saw our GC when my DD took the children to see them, because they didn't get on with their Son. The OGP didn't want to babysit not even for an hour. When DD went into labor with 2nd child I had to take holidays to look after No1 child at short notice even though they said they would have her, let down at the last minute, they don't work. When No3 child came along and it was a planned C-section they booked a last minute holiday. Now they have made up with their Son it's all change.
It's me that is being stupid and yes I should be glad they are now in contact properly with OGP.

Spare a thought for other OGPs - sounds as if this is the first time they have really got to know these GCs and are spoiling them rotten - it might soon wear off.