I know many of you have much worse situations than this but I was just out walking and thought I must get some of this off my chest. Ha ha cos I am recovering from a chest infection!
I moved to Warrington 18 months ago from Cornwall as my daughter got CFS. She adopted two children nearly 4 years ago now. A boy nearly 6 and his sister nearly 5 now.
I want to help her but I am not happy in Warrington. My neighbours are lovely and I go to some nice classes and walks but otherwise haven't made many friends. It isn't really my milieu. I am used to cultural, alternative, small places. And beauty around me not this urban environment.
At the end of last summer I bought a static caravan in Prestatyn hoping that might help but weather this year hasn't so far been good for that!
My other son and 3 kids plus another on the way live in North Wales so the caravan is nearer them. I do like it there but it is also exhausting as another thing to fit in and do. I thought about moving to Prestatyn but I also have elderly parents in Sussex and I am not sure I could do the extra hours drive. I don't know what I am saying really. I just feel that I cannot go on this way living somewhere I am not happy. And I am just EXHAUSTED.
My daughter is so unremittingly negative. Okay understandable with her condition but also it really wears me down. She won't try any of the suggested things to help her condition, she overspends and NEVER stops going on about her son as she finds him really difficult. He is exhausting!!!!! I am not sure there is anything much wrong with him though. Obviously issues from his birth as he had severe withdrawal from drug and alcohol and he rarely concentrates on anything for more than 5 mins (although that is improving!) He is fine at school. It is partly how she and her husband treat him. If he was in a family who loved rough and tumble he would be much happier. His sister is easier and bonded more with my daughter. The boy was 2 when he came and had been with the same foster parents since birth so a huge loss. Honestly adoption is wonderful but poor kids who need adopting
The past year I read every book to help with grandson and he adores me. And I have managed to do some nice activities with him which he loves (albeit for very short periods! Really he is better just outside) But it is actually very tiring for me. I never wanted to spend so much time with grandchildren. I almost felt like his parent. I was ready for my own life as I had a lot of difficulties with my daughter when she was a teenager and with my ex husband who became an alcoholic after we split and caused endless problems for my daughter. Sadly he died although it was also a relief.
I actually wouldn't mind it so much if I was happier in Warrington. I try to get to galleries and so on in Manchester in Liverpool but don't get a lot of spare time and also fitting in other things is good for me but also exhausting!
I just want it all to stop!!!!
I went on a lovely cruise with a friend for a week last year and it was bliss. No parents, and no children/grandkids/no worries.
I had to do Christmas at my parents this year which was nice but I did all the catering and stayed at my parents and my daughter and the grandkids in a holiday cottage. Which meant giving her breaks and rests and managing everything else. Her husband had a wobbly and said he was stressed and couldn't cope and they left a day early and he went and stayed in a hotel for a night. He was going for two nights. I felt sympathy for him but then learnt that he has been spending ages messaging a 'friend' at work. I always have the kids for part of the weekend so he gets a break but was angry really as I thought what is the point if it is not helping. I guess that is part of my issue now. I thought after a year when both kids were at school it would all be better but it isn't! And I am not sure I am really helping. I hardly ever spend time with my daughter. I just have the kids!! So it is lonely and not a lot of fun. And I partly haven't made friends cos I don't have time. But actually am making friends in Prestatyn so a smaller place helps.
I had the kids for two nights when they went away for husband's 40th and actually although it was exhausting and little girl missed her Mummy a lot (they had one night at in laws as well) the kids were well behaved and calmer.
Oh my parents. I had a 3 week holiday with them ! Holiday is not quite the word as they need help now. And they plan to come up here as they want to see my son in North Wales. I honestly don't know how I will manage that. I can't put them up in my house so we have hired a caravan on the caravan site .........oh well may not happen!
So at least I have got some of the stuff off my chest x
Thank you all for listening!
vwaves Sun 01-Apr-18 13:02:36
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MissAdventure Sun 01-Apr-18 13:54:46
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FarNorth Sun 01-Apr-18 21:05:12
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