It’s lonely!

I do know what you mean, Doramarr. I looked after my 2yo GS when his mum was ill and dad was working. I was away from my home town, too, so I knew no one. I was climbing the walls after two weeks, only having my GS and shop assistants to talk to all day!

Could you take your GC to toddler groups or other pastimes? There are quite a few activities available nowadays and it's not uncommon for grandparents, dads or carers to attend, as well as mums.

I can empathise, Dora.
Joining a toddler group was a great solution. It felt a little odd to begin with, and I just focussed on DGS enjoying things, but the young mums were very ftiendly and I eventually met three other grannies there!

I quite like it and don't miss adult company at all. I say hello to a few mums at music class and apart from that I never see anybody except DD and SIL.

It’s only three day without adult company and yes, it can be a bit ‘different’ but the answer is to get out as much as possible. Then enjoy adult friends and family the other four days.

They grow up very quickly and soon will be at primary school and then secondary school and all the love amd hard work you put into them will mean you have a great relationship with them as they get older.

Weirdly, what I miss more is saying hello to neighbours which I could do at my flat at home in the SE - here up in the NW in their detached house I never see anybody to say hello to on a random basis - that feels lonelier to me ?

With hindsight, I think I too found it quite lonely too when my DGC were very young, and I felt like a fish out of water at most of the groups that I took them to.

Fast forward 4 years, and they never allow me a moment's peace or relaxation. Any loneliness has been replaced by exhaustion and frequent frustration (they can be quite challenging)!

You must live in a posh part of the NW Beau

I guess so OldMeg, it's pretty much all detached in this part of town - even my finally almost completed granny annexe is detached in DD's garden ?

Visit as many toddler groups as you can, round here they are full of g.parents and Dads so not all self centred young Mums on their phones. If no one speaks to you, open up a conversation about their child and find the person who runs the group and ask if there are other g.parents there. I did music groups at one time and made enough friends there who were not phone orientated to form our own Mum’s singing group.

Not just grandparents who have this problem Dora

On another slant I wish I had that problem, oh to have a regular weekly slot with my grandboys, I'd be in heaven! They are soon to be miles away and it's killing me.

We usually do the school run 3 afternoons a week, pick the 2 (5,7) GC up at 15:15 take them back to our house give them their evening meal, entertain them to about 18:15 and the take them to whichever 1 of their parents turn it is to look after them. This is tiring for us. During the school holidays, we looked after them for 2 full days, and because the weather was so nice we were able to go out and had very enjoyable days.
Can I just ask, where do they get their energy from?
So, we know what the OP is on about, and We'are so glad to find out that it's not just us who feel worn out after time spent with GC.

Same here, Stormer. DiLs parents are ever present so we don't get a look in, even though we've volunteered to do our bit.

I walked miles with mine in prams and we joined playgroups as soon as they could sit up alone ,meant they got company and I did too.Most mums are happy to chat even to us grannies and the group I joined had a lot of my daughters old school friends so it was lovely catching up.Now they're bigger its after schol so homework to do and dinner to make ,teaching them to cook as we make it keeps them amused and learning even though they're having fun.I have one GD for half of the week and have had her for 8 years ,to be honest sometimes she's here so long I forget she isn't mine .

I haven’t time to join groups, never knowing from one week to the next when I am required to do childcare and standing by in case he’s unwell. If I’m feeling lonely I go and weed the front garden. People pass my house every few minutes and many stop to chat.
I hate the 6.30 start that childcare demands and I think I am usually too tired to do much more than potter round the house and garden when he is at nursery.

When my children were young I joined the inevitable Mother and Toddler Groups, we seemed to spend a lot of time in church halls and casting my mind back I'm pretty sure a grandma or two would turn up. and yes like you described Dora, coffee in each others houses, which could be chaotic. There's probably more choice available now, I know of a couple of "soft play" type places in my area. The library was also pretty good with story time sessions. Have you tried trying to find out whether there is a local GN? possibly there might be others in your situation?

We had ours for two days last week, not so young now aged 4 and 8, on one of the sunny days we took them to our local park which just happens to be Bushy Park with a picnic we have a wonderful area in there called "The Woodland Gardens" which is quite extensive and has a natural spring and pretty clean stream where a lot of children were paddling and gathering stones. I was very pleased how engaged they were in the nature side of our time there. Sometimes it disconcerting how this generation of children will beg for time on the IPad etc., I try to limit it, and it's a tussle trying to get them to come off it at times. My granddaughter found my yoga mat and wanted to try a few yoga moves, showed her "downward dog" which of course she was spectacularly good at, oh to have the suppleness of an 8 year old!

I am fortunate that I have a few close friends who also do childcare so we can sometimes meet up.

I do find if I go to the park or a play centre there is usually another Grandma or Mum on their own and we have a shy smile which can lead on to a good old natter.

I also enjoy talking /interacting with my GC ranging from 1yr to nearly 17yrs old. I regularly care for a 3yr old 2-3rimes a week and 9 & 10 yr olds 2-3 days a week during the school holidays. Exhausting but I would not have it any other way ???

Oh Doramarr your post could be mine. I too look after littlies during the week and agree it can be a very lonely existence. Joining toddler groups can be an option (although I don't have one near me) but the others there are invariably young mums who are nice but I miss having someone of my own age and interests to chat with.

I don't get it...would you be less lonely without them?

Join a tiddler group. you will meet mothers, grandmothers and grandfathers.

My mother looked after my toddler daughter full time and she went to a daily toddler group. She was made very welcome by the young mothers and my daughter thoroughly enjoyed it. When I gave up work my daughter said ‘ it’s boring being at home with you’

Are you on Facebook and is there a page for your local area ? Where I live (in a South London suberb) I would put a message on our local fb page to see if there are other grans or granddads in the same situation who would like to get together for coffee or at the local soft play etc. You never know what friendships could ensue both for you or the children. X

Why don’t you put an ad in the local paper, newsagent etc.
There are so many grandmothers in your situation. You could meet for a coffee at a local soft play centre for example, or meet in the park for a chat while the children play.

Sorry, just realised Jan 51 posted something almost identical!