Funny things kids say

My grandson talking to his little brother about his grandad ' don't ask him to hurry up, he's slow because he's very, very old' (he's very fit and in his 60s) .

My 2 year old GS was having his supper and was urged by his Mummy to eat up his carrots so that he would be able to see in the dark. ‘Or I could just get a torch,’ was his very reasonable reply.

My DM came to stay bringing sweets for the children. Please don't give them those mum, you are bribing them to behave and I don't like bribes.
"Give me bribes grannie" piped up the 3 yr old. "I like bribes".

My Grandson was told he had to work hard at school, so that, when he left, he could have any job he wanted. He said he wanted to be a mermaid.

My children were always expected to say thank you for a nice dinner please may I get down from the table ?
Four your old son said may I get down from the table
I said what about thank you for my nice dinner ?
He said “it wasn’t nice “

On hearing Grandpa had bought the wrong length of trousers,wee madam said "dont worry granny ,you dont have to take them back,he'll grow into them....."

DGS aged about four said 'May I leave the table?' His Mum said, 'What's the magic word?' (meaning 'please'). He looked baffled and answered 'Abracadabra'!

My 3 yr old DGD has a passion for ‘flingoes’ and ‘hoonycorns’ at the moment. When her big sister was 3 she confused us for ages referring to ‘broccoli’ lights at Christmas until we worked out they were in fact sparkly lights

When my daughter was expecting her 3rd baby my 6 year old grandson said excitedly “ I know what to call the baby - Jesus” luckily she had a girl

My GDG is almost 2 and the other day she walked up to my husband and said, “Grandad, asshole” we were both gobsmacked!! She said it again then pulled him over to the tv. She then said “ look asshole”. The kid’s programme Paw Patrol was on ???. We now use Paw Patrol when describing people who are not very nice. ???

Granddaughter, about 3 paddling in the sea, shouting "what is happening to me" as the waves went in and out

My granddaughter wanted to call her baby brother 'clingfilm'.

I know of a little girl who told her Mummy, ' wasn't it clever of you to have me on my birthday ?'

Brilliant responses. Aren’t children just a joy.
This was the first time I’d started a post and I am delighted that so many people responded. ?

"Did they have electricity when you were a girl, Mummy?"

"You're not old, Granny. 100 is old!"

My grandson has a predisposition for sweet things as opposed to savoury. I said to his mam the other day, He's got a sweet tooth to which he replied pointing at a bottom tooth. Is this my sweet tooth grandma.

My daughter in law made her first Christmas pudding and said to me she wasn’t sure about it but had bought a backup pudding. On Christmas Day after a few spoonfuls of the (very successful) pudding, her 6 yr old sweetly and politely to her mum “Did you say you had a backup pudding”

Many years ago when children were allowed out to play in the street, I wrapped my daughter up in a snowsuit and one of those hats that had a scarf attached and sent her out to get some ‘fresh air’. Next time I looked out of the window to check on her she had the hat/scarf off. When I asked why she told me she was getting ‘fresh hair’.

My Grandson said on Xmas Day (after opening his presents) .....’this is the best Xmas Day of my whole life!’......Jake aged 4 ????

My DGD and DGS (6 and 3) were discussing "boomy traps" - I said that they were actually called "booby traps" - they did not believe me and looked at me in amazement! "What boobies?!"

When my son was little and staying with friends he told me they made him walk on the pretending grass. Later found they had crossed a slightly boggy area.

One little boy I know when told his mummy was expecting, asked her to open her mouth. Rather surprised she did so, whereupon the child said loudly,
"You in there, are you a girl or a boy?"

He was rather put on at not getting an answer.

My sweet 6yr old Grandson told me
“Don’t worry about getting old Grandma Because when you do I’m going to look after you “
Just heart melting

Patti cake 123 ...I know the feeling . My son-in-law is a better cook than me...and my grandkids have no problem telling me and I have no problem hearing it. I’m an adequate cook ...he’s great!

We used to live in an old cottage and one day my dgd then aged about 4 screamed that she didn’t want to go up the stairs because of the antelopes.....she was actually referring to the wood lice.