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Grandparenting

Losing grandson to smartphone

(64 Posts)
lmm6 Fri 01-Feb-19 12:38:54

Grandson is 12. We've always had a lovely time enjoying hobbies together, playing board games, walking etc. Since he has been at senior school and has acquired a smartphone I can barely get his attention. I look after him while daughter works. I don't want to get angry or seem bossy but I just wish he would put the phone down and talk to me. Even if we watch a TV programme together, he's constantly looking at it. I feel invisible and am wondering what it will be like in the school holidays. DD says oh they are all like that. Can't be doing them any good can it? Makes me really sad.

moggie57 Mon 04-Feb-19 21:24:56

cant you suggest playing games with him or going out for a walk.( mobile left indoors.) and no mobile while eating meals. say homework first then mobile for an hour .I only let my gc have ipad /android for half an hour .then its only kids videos. thats plenty as it will ruin their eyes .

harrigran Wed 06-Feb-19 09:10:52

You can try asking him to leave the phone to one side but expect eye rolling and sighing.
If I haven't seen teenage GD for a week or two I will message her, ask how she is etc. Her answers are typically :- fine, great, yep or nope. She is clearly not spending a great deal of time composing messages.

Izabella Wed 06-Feb-19 10:01:59

Interesting thread. My friends and family would say they have always lost me to books - a lifelong passion of mine. grin

Cabbie21 Fri 29-Mar-19 11:23:08

My 14 year old grandson is currently banned from all devices, so him on his phone won’t be my problem. He is coming to me for various days in the school hols and I am wondering how he / I will cope. He will be given some jobs to do and will gladly play board games with me for a while but that is not going to fill the time.
The sort of places he would go with his friends are not places he would want to go with his Granny ( how embarrassing!) so I am trying to gather some ideas, as he is too old for adventure playgrounds and too young for some of the more adult pursuits.
Yes, they can be left at 12, but even at 14, too many days on their own is not a good thing, especially this lad.

BlueBelle Fri 29-Mar-19 12:21:30

In my experience no 14 year old boy is going to enjoy playing board games with his gran but then that’s only me Take phones out of the equation even my own son at 14, all those years ago, had grown beyond that
It is really really hard if you’re looking after someone in that age group
Cant he meet up with friends at least for part of the day don’t forget a generation ago a lot of boys of 14 were working
Harrigran that sounds a familiar conversation however they spend hours talking to each other so must be able to use words ?

sodapop Fri 29-Mar-19 12:35:05

Same here Izabella I always have a book on the go and read at every opportunity. Real books not ebooks. I suppose that could be just as anti-social.

Cabbie21 Fri 29-Mar-19 12:40:03

Thanks BlueBelle. No, he will have other days when he can meet up with friends I guess, but on my days he is too far away. For reason I can’t go into, he needs supervision.
He was fine with board games last Christmas holidays, preferably winning at Monopoly. Other games are available.

Gonegirl Fri 29-Mar-19 12:57:39

Get angry and bossy. Works wonders with my two.

rosecarmel Fri 29-Mar-19 13:44:00

Afeica33, my late husband was 30+ years in IT and his thoughts on the matter very much mirrored your own- He never had to make a hard break because he never engaged, reason being his observations of IT's possible consequences from the onset were evident-

He was my hero, an advocate and precisely insightful regarding the progression and impact of technology on society and the environment as a whole-

Working towards revising the industry's course as a professional proved especially stressful, he suffered crushing depression as a result- But he never caved in his efforts to cultivate change despite corporate power and dominance of the almighty dollar-

rosecarmel Fri 29-Mar-19 14:24:21

It's a people problem- People created technology- Think of how many things over the course of history people be like, "Oh, it's nothing to worry about! Everyone is doing it, it's safe!-" The only way through such times is to actually "not do"- Even if just for a a day or two- It will provide insight- There will indeed be a shift in perspective from seeing grandma is needy to also seeing how needy one is themselves as well- smile

bikergran Fri 29-Mar-19 22:27:25

Gs (12) came to mine yesterday after school..he was sat in chair watching some youtube stuff blasting away, I looked at him again and he was fast asleep in the chair still clutching his phone! still blasting away!

Younger Gs (4|) instructs everybody at eating times "No Toys At The Table" lol lol.

Cosmos Sun 31-Mar-19 06:57:28

Mine were fine at visiting and staying over until they were 15, now I rarely see them except for the odd meal out, they prefer being with their friends.? Just as I did.?

Cabbie21 Sun 31-Mar-19 09:01:04

I think the school holidays are a problem for teenagers and their parents. Parents are working and cannot take the whole time off. The teens do not want to be supervised but how long can they really be left to their own devices? Seriously, parents are castigated for not checking up on what their young people are up to on social media or hanging around in town centres, but they also need to work.