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Grandparenting

Boasting Rights

(147 Posts)
Granny23 Sat 23-Feb-19 10:59:26

I always understood that while it was considered unacceptable to boast about your own Children, it was generally OK for GPs to boast about their DGC's prowess. I have however had a ticking off on several occasions for mentioning some success or achievement that my DGC have had, as apparently this is disrespectful of the children who have under performed or failed. I believe that all children (and adults) are worthy of praise as long as they have made an effort and done the best they can. Also that I am not entitled to any kudos or reflected glory for what is entirely their own effort.

However there is so much misery, bad news and horror reported these days that I thought a thread, devoted to the happenstances which bring such joy to our lives as Grandparents would be an antidote to the doom and gloom.

All the above is probably just an excuse, as my reason for starting the thread is obviously because I am desperate to tell SOMEBODY my latest piece of Good News as follows.

I had a visit on Wednesday from DD1 and DGS who were bursting to tell me that DGS has been chosen to represent his school as leader of a 4 person quiz team at the County wide championship. Then I had a call on Friday from DD2 to announce that her DD has been selected as leader of HER school's team for the same event.

Needless to say I am delighted. smile grin sunshine

Please feel free to share your own family good stories, cheer us all up.

Gonegirl Mon 25-Feb-19 20:45:24

I don't think I'd boast about mine to anyone else. Would be boring for them. And for me probably.

Gonegirl Mon 25-Feb-19 20:46:15

Daughter sent me a video of grandson's latest pub gig. My God!!!

Gonegirl Mon 25-Feb-19 20:47:28

Are you supposed to be that cruel to a set of drums? shock

Granny23 Wed 27-Feb-19 10:33:16

Back to report on the Inter Schools Quiz, which was held last night in the Town Hall.

16 teams in all, DGS's team came 5th and DGD's team was 6th so respectable result but no coconut. The main thing is they both thoroughly enjoyed the experience and phoned me when they got home to report.

justwokeup Wed 27-Feb-19 10:42:48

Well done both of them Granny23. To me, the wonderful thing they did was phoned you when they got back. That shows DDs are doing a great job, and you are treasured. Priceless! Keep praising their achievements.

sodapop Wed 27-Feb-19 12:17:06

Of course it's boring listening to the minutiae of the exploits of someone's grandchildren who you have never met and are not likely to. It's different with family and close friends but otherwise ............

varian Tue 21-May-24 19:02:15

I have just discovered this wonderful thread and I so agree with Granny 23 that we have every right to boast about the achievements of our wonderful grandchildren.

Their achievements have little or nothing to do with us in the way we might have tried to take credit for the achievements of our children. THey are their echievments and why should we not be proud of them?

Jaxjacky Tue 21-May-24 19:25:04

OP is from 5 years ago.

Calipso Tue 21-May-24 19:49:49

Lovely thread Granny23
But there's 'boasting' and there's droning on ad nauseam about the minutiae of your DGC's achievements isn't there? I'm careful not to be that person.

On a slightly different tack, during a conversation with DD2 about my first grandchild where she was bemoaning the fact that he seemed far too relaxed about his upcoming GCSEs she suddenly stopped. " I don't even know why I'm talking to you about this, he can do no wrong in your eyes can he?"
Nope. He's the first of many and I've loved him from the minute he was born.

varian Tue 21-May-24 19:49:55

Why should that matter?

We Grannies still have boasting rights, do we not?

Calipso Tue 21-May-24 19:51:48

Jaxjacky ah, I'd missed that dammit!

varian Tue 21-May-24 19:54:17

One of my Grandchildren, who has just left school, has received an award for being, out of about 175 leavers in the upper sixth, the student "most likely to make the world a better place"

I cannot imagine a better award.

Grammaretto Tue 21-May-24 20:02:30

Why has this been resurrected? An ancient thread.

I miss DH so much and particularly when any of our DGC achieve something. I can't share the joy with anyone else for fear of provoking envy and scoffing from our other DC or boredom from friends.

I hope I do tell them all that they are marvellous because they are.

CanadianGran Tue 21-May-24 22:18:56

Well, I don't mind that this thread has been resurrected!

My DD let us know last night that our GS age 8 has been nominated as the recipient of a bursary for most sportsmanlike player in his lacrosse league. We're very proud! He won't know about it until Sunday when they have their league tournament.

We'll be waiting for a phone call from him!

And to be proud of our GC and boast about their accomplishments I think is a good thing. I do think that there needs to be a certain amount of restraint, since not all people want to hear about other's GC. As for this thread, it's easy enough to choose not to read it if you are not interested.

grandMattie Tue 21-May-24 22:24:42

My sisters’ one son each never performed very well at anything, while my three did. I rarely told my family as I was endlessly criticised for “boasting”.
I do get a little fed up, though, when grandparents gush ad nauseum about their perfect grandchildren (who are frequently most unpleasant), hogging the conversation.

NotSpaghetti Tue 21-May-24 22:41:33

Urmstongran - I do feel that we disagree on quite a lot but I totally agree regarding boasting.

I feel it's always unpleasant and often embarrassing.
Obviously I praise the family achievements within the family and pass on nice things others may have said .. but 🙏 please don't go boasting about your grandchildren to me!

Doodledog Tue 21-May-24 22:57:19

I don't mind people boasting about their grandchildren, but I really don't like it when people try to trump others. This happens in one group I belong to. Someone says that their grandson has got his first car, which is a second hand Corsa, and someone else has to point out that her grandson has a Porsche. Or one person is delighted that her grandchild has just got a degree and another 'casually' mentions that hers got a First from a 'top Oxbridge College'. It's one thing to be proud of your grandchildren, but putting others' loved ones down to do it is mean-spirited, I think.

There is a subset of people in what is otherwise a lovely group whose grandchildren (like their children, their husbands and their pets grin) all got 'brilliant' exam results from 'highly selective' schools, and are doing 'exceptionally well' in their 'top' jobs with 'excellent' prospects. That sort of boasting is tedious, but a general sharing of grandchildren's lives is lovely, if it doesn't go on too long.

Floradora9 Wed 22-May-24 21:39:45

I saw my DGD interviewed on TV news to-night

Germanshepherdsmum Wed 22-May-24 22:09:08

I cannot bear people boasting about their grandchildren. My eyes glaze over.

Doodledog Wed 22-May-24 22:17:03

Floradora9

I saw my DGD interviewed on TV news to-night

I think most people would 'boast' about that grin.

Norah Wed 22-May-24 22:17:41

Germanshepherdsmum

I cannot bear people boasting about their grandchildren. My eyes glaze over.

I consider the source. Enough said.

LottieLouise Wed 22-May-24 22:23:45

When our sons were at school and passed an exam or got a swimming award I always told my mum about it but she never said that's lovely, well done but instead said our so and so (my sister's children) have done this or done that. It got to the stage I told my mother nothing at all about our lives and she never asked. She always told us about my sister's children though even though one turned into a heroin addict at the age of 15 and ended up in prison when he was older. I remember telling her that she had four grandchildren, not two and it was about time that she took an interest in our children as well. She never spoke to me again for a year.

It was sad really because she was the only grandparent our sons had because my husband had lost his parents before we married and my dad had also died.

When I am told about our grandchildren's achievements I always congratulate them and tell them how proud I am of them and it is a pleasure to see their faces light up.

All children and adults should be praised for achieving something. I always told my late husband what a great job he had done after he had repaired something and he always thanked me for a fantastic meal. We are never too old to be congratulated and praised.

maddyone Wed 22-May-24 22:28:23

I had a friend, sadly she died last year, but she was a bit of a pain because she boasted about her great grandchild. It was tedious listening to how well this child could talk, count, knew her colours and shapes. And then being given her phone to watch the child counting or saying a nursery rhyme. Otherwise she was a good friend and I miss her.

flappergirl Wed 22-May-24 22:35:43

I don't think many grandparents realise just how much they talk about their grandchildren. Any one subject (nuclear submarines, ferrets or the English Civil War) is going to become utterly tedious to the listener unless they share the same passion.

Having said that, I'd far rather sit through a monologue on the English Civil War than someone else's grandchildren.

Germanshepherdsmum Wed 22-May-24 22:44:17

Me too.