I'm wondering if anyone is in a similar situation & if so, how do they feel about it ?
I have 3 GS ( my sons children ) 4 years, 20 months and 4 months old.
The eldest went into a day nursery when he was one year old as both parents worked full time. When the second one reached 11 months, DIL went back to work & they had a live in nanny. This meant I could no longer stay with them but could stay nearby with my other son for visits. When my first GS was born, I discussed the frequency of visits with my DIL. I live 2 hours away but it is no problem to go up for the day or night which I used to do. I think I mentioned the possibility of weekly visits but she suggested that fortnightly would fit in best. This has continued to now. I have always felt that the gaps between visits have meant that each time I have gone to pick up my elder grandson from his nursery/pre school, he is shy and it takes time for him to relax and for me to re establish the connection. He is now just 4 and I know he wants me to stay longer when I visit.
I feel I lose something, in the way of bonding, in between these visits.
I have a good but not in depth relationship with DIL. Conversations don't flow that easily however she is very appreciative of anything I do or when they come & stay with me. DIL comes from a big family with 3 sisters, cousins and nephews and nieces ( other gran has 8 GC's including my 3 )Nanny told me that she doesn't see my 3 as much as I do. Both DIL, my son & other G. have a busy social life. I do too, but I want to put my GC first. Eldest GS has so many activities, parties & playdates & of course maternal aunts, uncles & cousins, I can see there is limited time for me ! I just feel I could have given so much reassurance to eldest GC when he got so upset with parents leaving him for work etc.etc. I am widowed so don't have someone to discuss these things with.
I have some back issues so I can't lift much so in a way lucky I'm not relied upon to look after the GC. for long periods !
I don't feel I can do much about this but will this ( the gaps between visits )affect my future relationship - not being so emotionally close. I know I am fortunate to see them when I do i.e. they are in the same country.
It must be easier with a daughter's children ?!! I have 2 sons ( other one has no children )
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