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Grandparenting

Cheeky or funny?

(56 Posts)
Grannyrebel27 Mon 22-Apr-19 21:57:44

It was my grandson's 8th birthday recently. He's always been a bit cheeky but has improved as he's got older and has found a focus with football which seems to have helped with his behaviour. However after his party I gave him the usual hug and kiss and said I'd see him in a few weeks and he said to me "You've got big coconuts!" I haven't I hasten to add! I'm a modest 34C but compared to his mum, his other granny and my daughter who are all flat chested I suppose I have! I was taken aback and didn't say anything but my son told him off mildly. I was a bit annoyed at first but my husband and I had a good laugh about it in the car on the way back. Kids eh!

crazyH Mon 22-Apr-19 22:10:44

Kids don't need a licence to speak....they come out with the sweetest of things, sometimes embarrassing , sometimes cheeky , but always lovable. That's the innocence of childhood. And that's why I love holding a conversation with them.😘

Coolgran65 Mon 22-Apr-19 22:16:51

Dgs once asked why I had big boobs I told him it was so I could give the best squashy hugs 🤗

Nannarose Mon 22-Apr-19 22:31:23

He's 8 now, and needs to begin to learn appropriate comments or he'll get into trouble! Your son 'told him off mildly' I'd say that's probably the best way to handle it, depending quite on what was said.
I think in some ways, it's best coming from you (not criticism, always difficult in the moment) as it gives a stronger message. In similar situations I say brightly 'I know, but it's not polite to say so' or 'people /women don't like it if you comment' (actual size really not important!)
You an laugh, and get the message across.

BradfordLass72 Tue 23-Apr-19 08:31:34

I think Dad needs to have a bit of a talk with this young fellow and explain how to use respectful and appropriate language - not just to his grandma but to everyone.

At 8, he possibly doesn't know that what he said is impolite but that's why he has parents - to teach him.

We do not usually, in polite society, talk about the size of any body part. It would be just as rude if he'd said you had big feet, nose or ears.
But he needs to know now before he gets himself into serious trouble.
Already at my grandson's school (he is 9) girls are reporting boys (and vice versa) for sexually inappropriate speech and harassment.

maryeliza54 Tue 23-Apr-19 08:51:27

I agree with the above - it’s not all right to comment on body parts and that needs explaining and why. With my dgs2 who was more obsessed with this issue, I also corrected the words he used - ‘they’re called breasts’ I said firmly ‘ if you do need to refer to them’. That’s all part of the respect issue

Framilode Tue 23-Apr-19 09:27:33

One of my grandsons always asks if he can flap my bingo wings. He also calls me a relic. I know it's cheeky but I'm afraid it makes me laugh./

maryeliza54 Tue 23-Apr-19 10:11:21

Well Fram well done for enabling and facilitating this boy to be disrespectful towards women, body fascism and ageism. What do you do when he laughs at a child with CP who can’t speak or walk properly? Do you laugh too or try to explain why it’s different from laughing at you and your imperfections?

Annaram1 Tue 23-Apr-19 10:40:55

My grandson of 8 once asked me why I had a turkey neck.
I was quite upset but did not say anything, Once home Ilooked in my mirror, and saw that indeed I had a turkey neck, red and flappy!!!
The grandson is now 25 and has just got engaged to a lovely Irish girl. I could ask him where his hair is going, but I'm too polite. I've been invited to the wedding !! I will have to wear a high necked dress. Nobody is perfect.

mcem Tue 23-Apr-19 10:50:46

Perfectly natural for a child of that age to be a bit rude as long and as long as it's dealt with appropriately it's a useful learning exercise.
Think you're a bit hard there ME but do agree that encouraging the behaviour described by framilode is not appropriate!

icanhandthemback Tue 23-Apr-19 10:53:59

I can remember my ten year old saying something inappropriate about breasts and somewhat surprised, I asked him why he felt the need to comment. He made me laugh when he told me that it was difficult to ignore them when he was faced with them 24/7 because he was eye level with them. I didn't make a big thing of it, talked to him about how he could offend people with such comments, in the same way as blaspheming might. At that age, he was probably just trying to shock but he was also heading for a growth spurt which signalled puberty was well established so his thought patterns were definitely more sexual.
Maryeliza54, we all have to learn when we can joke about things and we often tease family and friends about things that we wouldn't tease other people about. That doesn't mean we're disrespectful. For example, my husbands has 8 of his adult teeth missing through a genetic defect and we often tease him about the size of the tooth pick he needs as he's never had the gaps filled. He laughs it off with jokes about his beauty gaps. However, when my son's MIL had the worst teeth you have ever seen due to osteoporosis, we didn't tease her because she would have been offended, neither would we tease my husband in front of her. Joking with people where everybody feels comfortable with it is a sign of affection sometimes.

Conni7 Tue 23-Apr-19 10:56:41

My granddaughter said "Granny, why have you got lines on your face?" I was not offended as she lives in Dubai, where there aren't many old people.

sodapop Tue 23-Apr-19 10:57:30

I had a similar problem when my grandson was young. It's necessary to explain to children as they grow up about the appropriateness or otherwise of comments. No need to make a big deal out of it but make sure they understand.

SalsaQueen Tue 23-Apr-19 10:57:37

Kids say some cheeky things grin. My 7 year old GD said a similar thing to me, and she's not wrong, I have got a large bosom. The 5yr old GS asked if I was having a baby because of my big tummy.....I'm 60 haha

Gonegirl Tue 23-Apr-19 11:00:12

Cheeky, but knock it on the head.

Gonegirl Tue 23-Apr-19 11:00:38

(Not the child!) shock

maryeliza54 Tue 23-Apr-19 11:05:32

Of course children say inappropriate things - our job as grown ups is to explain why they shouldn’t not laugh at what they said. How do you think boys especially learn to be do disrespectful towards girls? As for teasing about physical imperfections within families? Why just why? Those being teased may feel they have no option but to laugh along but inside may be hurting. When we’re altogether as a family we have lots of fun and laughter together without making negative personal comments.

cookiemonster66 Tue 23-Apr-19 11:29:39

my 2 yr old granddaughter said while we were getting changed for swimming 'nanny you have a big tummy!' I said yes I know - too much chocolate and pizza gave nanny a big tummy! she accepted that answer!

kircubbin2000 Tue 23-Apr-19 11:46:45

My grandson aged 4 wants to know what 'old' means. Quite hard to explain.He wasn't talking about a person but an old castle.

lovebeigecardigans1955 Tue 23-Apr-19 11:51:06

My friend was bemused when she was called in by school. Her son was being naughty to the teacher and said, "Bosoms to you!" She can't think where he got it from and somehow managed to keep a straight face.

GabriellaG54 Tue 23-Apr-19 12:14:56

Conni7
I would explain that the lines are a map of your life and all the places you have been to and wonderful sights you've seen.
People who have no lines haven't had much of a life.

Lily65 Tue 23-Apr-19 12:21:45

I think at 4 or 5 it's quite funny. At 8, possibly not.

Aepgirl Tue 23-Apr-19 12:28:16

Children hear all these things from school pals, and try to push the boundary themselves. My grandson (7) told me that a football had hit him in his nuts. I totally ignored it, and he hasn’t said it to me since.

Happysexagenarian Tue 23-Apr-19 12:42:30

That made me laugh Grannyrebel! But at age 8 I think he's well aware he's being cheeky and curious to see what reaction he gets. Our 9 year old grandson is exactly the same and his cheeky grin tells us he knows he shouldn't say it. He spends a lot of time with adults and picks up on the things they say. Having brought up three boys we're well used to it and have learned to respond with humour or an equally cheeky retort. Both your grandson and mine will grow out of it naturally as they get older.

Framilode Tue 23-Apr-19 13:01:43

Oh for goodness sake ML it was just a bit of a family joke. Different families, different rules. He is a very kind little boy and wouldn't dream of making fun of a child with a disability - in fact his own sister has a disability.

Honestly, you get jumped on on here if you post something as a bit of fun.