Feel it is so sad

LizBethAnn55 I know you gave two examples of what you saw as non communication and we cannot know what the rest of the day was for those children.

I totally agree that the use of mobile phones, tablets, and small laptops for children of young ages is certainly creating much less one to one communication with the child. I see small children everywhere and they have a mobile phone in their hands to play games on it and mum chats to her friends.

One example of my own was one of my grand-children and after school she will take her school clothes off get a snack then lie on her bed with the tablet. At times she is so engrossed in it she will be talking to it and will either not hear you speaking to her or just chooses to ignore you, I witnessed this many times and I took this up with her mother, her reply "I am driven mad by the kids and the tablets keep them quiet" and they leave me alone.
Whatever suggestions I made to offer her my help/get the children to the park or library were met with No they can't be bothered even the 2 year old toddler was engrossed in scrolling down on the mobile phone, surprisingly that is probably why he was showing no signs of any speech development. All very sad if you ask me.

I always think it sad and quite strange that some adults don't bother to chat with the children they've got with them.

My GC are 5 1/2 and 8, and they never stop talking. We chat about all sorts of things. I used to talk to my own sons (in their 30s now) all the time, right from them being babies.

It is sad. There are times when half an hour in front of the tv is a blessing for a busy mother, however it would be good if adults could do their texting whilst the children are at school and limit iPhone use to emergencies. It’s getting worse.

My daughter needed me to look after my GC but I had been quite poorly (nothing contagious). They had just had a week's holiday where they had been swimming and active every day so it worked well all round when I just let them play on their computers for most of the day!

I love and cherish the time spent with DGC, and the activities and outings we engage in. These times are backed up with numerous photographs. They are allowed a limited time ' on screen ', both with me, and in their own homes. Interestingly, last week, while on a coastal walk with them, one DGS, in his own words, said that when they stayed with the other GP's, they were ' left to their own devices '. One of the others added that ' we hardly see them '. It seems that on some levels, despite enjoying being on their devices, they do also like attention from the adults around.

I have my great grandson (who is just 2) every Friday, and within the day he plays his own games on my iPad. He usually sits beside me and we play them together. I don’t see any harm in electronics for children if they are used correctly

We’re all different but I always chose back facing prams so that I could see my babies and talk to them, they could still see the world going by out the side. Electronics weren’t an issue when mine were young but of course it’s an issue now with the 5 GC. However, like all their parents, I time them on their devices so I still make them talk to me ! These times are far too precious and too short to miss out on.

At six, I think the little girl was old enough to learn that there is a time and a place for everything, and a library is not the place for conversations with her grandad. It does children no harm to know that the world doesn't revolve around them and that they should consider other people.

I know that libraries have changed a lot since the days when they were places for people to read, study and have 'quiet time', away from noise and chatter, but all the same, not everyone wants to be subjected to other people's conversations all the time.

I agree with Lovelycuppa about 'conspicuous parents' who talk at their children all the time, and make it clear to all around that they are stimulating and engaging with their children. I find them very irritating, and feel a bit sorry for their children, who never seem to get time to stop and think, or to take the world at their own pace.

Forward or backward facing buggies are a matter of preference, really. I can understand wanting to make eye contact with a child, but at the same time, it prevents them from looking around at the world, rather than always at the adult in charge.

An inquisitive toddler is likely to get bored, and whereas it is sad for us as adults when they grow away from us, it is inevitable, and a natural part of their development. I don't see it as 'sad' in itself.

I’m with Tillybelle and others who think that a child really doesn’t need or want constant attention from someone intent on showing what a good mother/father/grandparent they are by their conspicuous parenting. Sometimes a child needs a bit of peace to think, a chance to be bored (where else does creativity and imagination come from?) and time to wind down. There’s a time for everything and perhaps the girl in the library and the boy on the train had had busy days and were as ready for some down time as the adults with them. It’s easy to judge, but perhaps we shouldn’t.

I think electronic item are good for a while perhaps after a meal to keep child sitting for a few minutes. But not in restaurants we always took paper and pencils to keep children amused. I've seen them on buses with phones keeping them amused. We used to have books for the children to look at. Think it's a sign of the times every where you go everyone's looking at phones.

I'm not sure where the heading about electronics came from. It wasn't me. I was more focused on how sad it was that these two grandparents were not interacting with their grandchildren at all. The grandad had picked the little girl up from school and was obviously killing time till the child's parent got home. I don't like the thought of "conspicuous parenting". It smacks too much of "look at me. See what a great grandparent I am". Rather than just interacting with the child. Grandchildren are so precious and the years when they truly want to be with us are so few. It seems so sad not to revel in them. I am so sorry that someone thought my opinion was arrogant. I certainly didn't want to sound that way.

Lot of judging going on here, sadly. As someone said, we can't know the bigger picture. And I love the child in the library getting absorbed in her own choice of books. Sometimes children just like a bit of peace without having adults wanting to join in with their thoughts.

Children need our company and find it sad if we cannot give them this while they are young
They soon grow up then no doubt it will be boo hoo why aren't my children /grandchildren spending more time with me.

There is another way of viewing things. My own mother would chat, chat, chat away incessantly (never anything interesting) and I'd pretend to listen. I'd blank her out and resist a headache, wishing she'd just shut up. I try to have my nose in a book.

My father was very quiet and rarely spoke - yet we enjoyed each other's company and reading together (if separately). When he did say something, I'd hear him loud and clear!

I'm shocked but not surprised. I don't let mine have devices and still chat away to them and talk, so not all parents are like this. We read books, talk about nature and well all sorts, we do art together, games like eye spy, board games etc.
Let's hope it was just a small snap shot of their day and those children do spend time interacting with adults properly. X

I did EXACTLY the same thing as you shysal passing a field of cows. Other passengers probably thought I was certifiable.

Granachist I too had a (second hand) silver cross pram. Do you remember the seats that used to go across the front of the pram you could attach for an older child? Mine was a hideous mud brown.

'If that time is never shared I don't suppose the bond can be there'.

pink quartz, that statement gave me such a pang of sadness [for myself] and I don't believe it to always be true.
Many of us on GN have grandchildren overseas and would hate to think that just because we don't spend much time with them, a loving bond can't exist.
Technology is an absolute essential for me; by using FaceTime and other media I am able to see and talk to my DGD, who is then able and allowed to see and talk to me as often as is possible. She is only 2 and lives in Australia but she knows who I am and thankfully recognises me.

My pushchair (late 1950s) faced my mum - history relates i spent the whole time in it on my knees facing forward.
Fast forward- last year I went for coffee in Lakeland Plastics, Windermere; at the next table parents and young child (8/9yrs) - parents sat on their respective phones and child on iPad, not a word passed between any of them. Has verbal communication died?

Of course verbal communication hasn't died. Children and parents still talk to one another all the time - often more than in the past when dad was at work and mum was busy all day with housework and lots of siblings.

At one time children were expected to be 'seen and not heard', and you still see and hear older people complaining when they make a noise in restaurants etc.

Finding them something to do when they are out, so that they are entertained, instead of either bored and frustrated or annoying other diners seems to me sensible and unselfish, not neglectful.

I think that parents have enough pressures these days without being judged and found wanting by strangers who have no idea what goes on when they are not there.

Shysal I remember once waxing lyrical about a big red tractor that was driving along the road outside my DC’s school. Then I realised that the person I was talking to was actually my little Cavalier King Charles spaniel, who hitherto had shown no interest in different types of vehicle.

I was in the supermarket this afternoon and a mum had a toddler in her trolley. The two of them were chattering their way round the shop and it was so sweet to hear.

Shysal I sympathise about strange looks on buses. I remember swinging around and announcing excitedly, “Look! A fire-engine!” to a bemused young man on a rare trip out without the children.
I often see children being ignored by family members with their noses in their phones. It makes me sad.
My 3-year-old GD gets lots of attention from me, when I visit. However, after hours of, “You be the baby, and I’ll be the Mummy,” and being marched around the house, under orders, I grab a small respite by getting out the iPad.
She loves the Winnie the Pooh cartoons, and YouTube videos of ‘funny animals’ behaving badly, but I chat with her about what she is watching, and never ignore her. She also gets lots of interaction from her parents, and her development has benefitted a lot, as a result.

It is sad to see gadgets being used by children on what used to be regarded as social occasion. Of course they are useful at times to help quieten or pacify a young child. Have seen only on last week 2 children in pushchairs with phones watching kiddies programmes. One child was with two females who were busy chatting to each other whilst walking. So sad. Only yesterday when out for a quick walk commented to DH when noticing someone out with their dog that the phone was having a nice outing. Female meandering along using phone with dog prodding along behind. People don't speak to pets now either!

My youngest grandchild is now nearly 12. I looked after him daily from 9 months until he started school at just turned 4. We played all sorts, and read books, but as soon as he was in the charge of his parents he was encouraged to play on a tablet every spare minute, just so that they didn`t have to play with him or chat to him. He was such a lovely, lively little boy, but now he`s so unsociable and difficult to converse with, he`s become a most unpopular child within the rest of our family, which is such a shame.

Curvygran

I should have put on my post that I didn't see much of my youngest DGD but the times we did meet up were very special.

I do understand how you feel because I spent most of the last 15 years pining to see my DGC But you don't need lots of time with them to bond though i do envy GP's that get lots of contact.
Honestly there was one time i didn't see her (the youngest) for almost 3 years so please do not think you need to have to have lots of meet up for the bonding.
I used to send her parcels and cards and I think that actually helped.

I had most contact with the eldest and the middle one. The middle one and I do not really get along...so it is not always a case of more contact makes for a better relationship.

And I never had any Face time as my DD is a technophobe

I am sure that when they come over with for a visit or you go there you will make sure you have a good time together.