Imminent grandma feeling apprehensive

Newbie Gran - it's quite scary isn't it? I became a first time Grandma last October just before my 62nd birthday. Our daughter lives over 200 miles away also and her and her partner invited me to visit when the baby was 3 days old. What a good job we went - daughter ended up very poorly and going back into hospital a couple of times. I stayed for 2 weeks and, apart from when my daughter fed the baby, I was looking after the newborn while her partner looked after her. As so many folk have said your instincts (maternal or otherwise) kick in. I suddenly remembered how to put tiny hands into sleeves, holding legs while changing dirty nappies etc. It was one of the most worrying yet happiest times of my life. Thankfully my daughter made a full recovery and I left them to be new parents - and cried my eyes out all the way to the station! Those hours with my new grandchild will never be beaten. Good luck and enjoy every minute! xx

Just do all the physical chores around the house .My eldest when she had her first told me she just wanted me to do mainlycooking,washing etc and if she needed me will ask .Her baby was early and I had to teach her how to bath the baby (Community Midwife )once upon a time She woke me up a few times at night for help

Some women really love tiny helpless babies. I just don't. I was fond of mine, concerned about them, determined to do my best - but no 'instant rush of love' for my children or grandchildren. Their constant need to be held, fed, changed etc. was rather annoying. I truly resented being their 'servant' In fact, newborns seem rather ugly and frog-like to me!

When they get to five or six months and can interact more, sit up and play, have their own little characters - then I begin to find them fascinating. I really love older children.

My friend is the opposite, loves newborns, then begins to lose interest as they grow and become independent.. (She had six - always replacing the tiny one!)

I'm far luckier, as they aren't tiny for long. I've enjoyed being a mother, teacher and granny. No, I'm not hands on, but I'll be there when needed.

You sound exactly like me. Not particularly maternal but told I was /am a good mum. I'm a oracti Al sort of person so just got on with thd practical help that was needed at the time. My gc and I get on great we have fun and they know they can have a cuddle if want one but that I'm not going to try and other them or demand nanny hugs. My 3yr old grandson loves coming to play at my house because he can chalk on the garden path, paint the fence (with water), play hide n seek in the garden or sit and read a book cuddled up with me and the dog. Dont worry just go and do what needs doing and enjoy it.

I was exactly the same but being a Grandma may just surprise and delight you.
I do hope so.

Just be there for your Daughter, it may just strengthen your relationship.
x

Don't over think things Newbiegran as others have said not all of us are over the top maternal women, I certainly am not. Help your daughter with housework, laundry, cooking etc leaving her free to be with her baby. You can look after her/him for short periods whilst she rests. It's surprising how things come back to you and your daughter will tell you how she wants things done. Just being together with them will be a lovely experience so relax and enjoy it.

I think you will be surprised at how you feel about your new grandchild.In any case, there doesn't have to be a rush of love from you.....it will build.Just be quietly helpful for your DD initially.Try and look thrilled though in case your DD mistakes hesitancy for being uncaring, remember how proud of the baby she will be.

I'm just replying to myself (I started this thread) to unofficially "close" this. Grandson was born Wednesday night - hopefully all will be well but he is in hospital with infection at the moment although. being born a fighting 9lb 5 oz, he is no weakling! I just wanted to say for any future grandmums that as soon as I saw the first photo -and then the first video clip of him bawling his eyes out at having to be brought into this world (!) I fell in love with him instantly and now cannot imagine how I could have worried about bonding. And no - I haven't been able to see him yet because DD and grandson both have to stay in hospital for another 5 days because of infection - but I am looking forward to meeting him face to face asap.

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