Babysitting a 15 month old boy driving me to distraction please help!

Cher69 when you say you 'babysit' your grandson I'm wondering how often you look after him and for how long? With your own health problems it must be challenging: I know that I had far more stamina for looking after my first two grandsons (11 years ago) than I do the latest two toddlers. That said, he sounds like a boisterous little boy with lots of energy that needs channelling. I think for that reason, a playpen simply won't work. I disagree with the idea of the naughty step: he is FAR too young to understand the concept. I agree that any food given should be in a high chair with the floor protected, and ideally at the same time as you are eating. The minute he starts to pour drink on the floor, remove the cup with a simple firm 'no'. Quavers crushed on the carpet? Maybe consider no snacks between meals. He is much more likely to eat if he is allowed to be hungry. Offer tiny amounts of nutritious finger foods and let him choose what he wants to eat. As soon as he starts to 'sweep' food off the highchair, it's likely to be a clear sign that he has finished. Outdoor play needs to be an important part of his day. I do hope you can find a way to feel better about this

Lots of good ideas to chew over. I wonder how the child behaves at home or wherever else he spends time?

I hope you can work something out.

Nothing more to add except that in my experience my daughter and granddaughter were far harder work than either my son or my grandson!

I’d give him back, even babies can be gently taught boundaries. I couldn’t handle him, thank goodness my DD had a little girl now aged 3 1/2, going on 17, she really is adorable..

Wow! Thankyou so much to those of you who have given me some great advice and ideas and support it's just what I needed. A lot of the things mentioned I have already tried and I have childproofed my flat. I also wanted to say that I have looked after him since birth and everything was fine before lockdown. He had only just started to walk then but now he is running and has developed so quickly I think I am finding it hard to pick up were I left off. I made it sound like he was like this all the time but he isnt he does behave sometimes which is the bit I dont get. It's like someone presses a switch and he goes into overdrive. Therefore some of the things people have said have struck a chord with me especially the citrus thing. He has a lot of tangerines too and it's made me think that when he has those and quavers and squash his behaviour definitely changes. So i am going to start giving him healthy food and we will all eat together at the table in his highchair ( i didnt have a table and chairs before lockdown) and a more structured day. We already spend a lot of time outdoors we go to the park to feed the ducks and run about with the ball. Play in the garden with water paddling pool etc. Go to the beach. And before lockdown we were going to a jungle Jim type place which he loved but they are all still closed. I am going to get him a trampoline because i think he will love it and we are going to make a playhouse together out of cardboard boxes. I feel much more confident now and today has gone really well as I have followed your advice throughout the day.
However I must admit that some of you are so judgemental and downright rude. How dare you accuse me of wanting to sit on my ass and watch tv and not engage with my grandson. Also the lady who says I care more about my carpet than my grandson how ridiculous I dont care if he throws it up the walls and on the floor. I just want to know why and how to stop him. Because he does understand when told not to do something he just chooses not to. To the lady who said I should let him trash the place because hes a little boy! Ok I will send him to you Mary Poppins you obviously have a magical way with children. I would love to see you deal with him throwing things at the tv screen. Throwing his chair at it. Throwing a standard lamp. He is so strong he can pick up a dyson small ball and throw it. Or am I supposed to clear the room of everything he can move including his toys. You dont know anything about me and have not got the right to put people down or make them feel inferior this is a forum were people come for advice and support not to be judged and ridiculed or barraged with venomus claptrap.

Scentia, I have tried but they throw themselves on the floor or sob. The wrist ones they can get off!
I can't win, and they are too young to understand blackmailing.

Big cardboard box , lots of soft balls- throwing the balls into the box. Wooden ramp, rolling little cars down it, bubble machine - switch on, catch the bubbles, outdoors - football, water play, help watering the plants, sand pit, bucket of water and a paint brush, collecting stones in a bucket, emptying them out in a bigger bucket. Yes it’s exhausting.

Same question as GrannyLaine - what do you mean by 'babysit'? Do you look after him every day - for the whole day?
If so, no wonder you are exhausted, especially with the health problems you mentionned.

I truly, really, sincerly believe it is not the job of grandparents to look after a grandchild every day- all day. I am 70 and fit - and yet I could not and would not. There is a good reason we have children when young and fit. Is there anyway you could work out alternatives? And perhaps have him 1 or 2 days a week maximum?

Cher, I agree, not everyone is sympathetic.

I do understand. My grandson is the same. Very strong, at times manic, loud. He needs managing!

I adore him, but I also don't want my house destroyed and he needs to be taught to respect it and my poor cats!

Do you look after him every day Gagajo? Would you?

I work away for part of the year, but when I'm around, which so far has been about 7/12 months, yes, I have him for at least part of every day. Including weekends.

I would adore being able to have him every day. If I'm able to retire in time, both myself and my daughter (single parent) would either like me to home school him, or do a combination of home school and regular school.

When I say baby sit I mean 5 days some mornings some afternoons. My daughter works odd shifts so the times do change. However I am going to suggest she brings him at a set time in the morning or afternoon that way I can get a bit of a routine and some structure going on around meal times etc.

My older grandson was like this; a mini hurricane around the place, doing everything he wasn't supposed to.

I'm sure all the doting grannies will be outraged, but I looked after him about 3 times before I said "never again!" Too much for me.

Someone suggested you looking after him in his own home, Cher69

Is that feasible for you?

I ended up doing that with my grandson, expecially when number 2 arrived!

Oh and sippy cups. Marvellous invention. My one year old granddaughter has one. She can fling it all over the place and no liquid drops!

My daughter is going to see a nursery this week to see if he can do 2 days there. I know that's what he needs now. He loves other children and plays nicely with them. It is true that he needs stimulation and nursery would give him that. I have three other grandchildren all boys ages 1 to 4 and they are all different. I have looked after all of them at various stages but none of them have the energy this little one has and the others have been easy to manage. A simple " No thank you" or "That's naughty" or " that's not kind" have been enough. I genuinely think after reading all the posts that it's his diet that is the underlying cause of this. Followed by his routine being changed since lockdown. Also he has got to get to know me again 3 months in a babies life is a long time. I feel confident now that I can turn this situation around for all of us. As a result he will be a happier more content little chap and so will his granny. Thank you all again I truly appreciate your support and encouragement.

Sounds like an excellent plan Cher69 Your daughter is lucky to have you!

Yes, definitely a put him in a high chair when eating anything and you can buy a length of that pvc coated table covering to put underneath. It's also good as a smooth surface for cars, toys etc instead of carpet.

A cup with a spout is good and give him water only if he drinks anything when not in the high chair. If you want him to have juice then put him in the high chair. You could give him a selection of healthy finger foods and yes, much may land on the floor! But some may end up in his mouth.

Plenty of activities for little fingers and one of those trucks to push with bricks in it instead of pushing a chair around. A sit and ride toy, soft balls to throw outside to develop his skills and let him throwing balls is fine outside but throwing toys inside is not.

He just sounds like a normal, busy toddler to me but they are hard work and perhaps you need to reduce the hours you spend caring for him as your energy levels are not high, obviously and you need to take care of yourself too.

Sorry, some typos, hope you get the gist.
(I'm tired without looking after a toddler)

Sorry, just read your post and I am glad that you are both finding a solution.

I would read a book to get up to date on what a 15 month old does and what to do to take care of your gc.

It is not an easy age, even for younger people.

Once babies start to walk, they are tornados full of energy

Cher69, it sounds like you really don't have the energy or desire to look after him for long periods, so tell his parents and make the visits shorter.

A little trip out is often much easier than staying indoors with a toddler.

Take the food outside too, on the trip or in the garden. The same with drinks (or put him in on a washable surface to have them).

Use a baby gate to keep him in one small area of the house where you can see and supervise him.

He likes throwing things - so play lots of throwing games with small soft toys or throw bean bags.

If all else fails, sit under a fluffy blanket with him, put cartoons on the telly - and pretend to doze for half an hour (worked like a charm with my granddaughter)!

Definitely no fruit juice - too much sugar and avoided other sugary or salty foods. As others said no food except in high chair. He is a baby and doesn’t have the ability to communicate or understand what is safe or acceptable. A nursery would be good for him.

Sounds like perfectly normal 15 month old behaviour! Exploring his world with plenty of energy (and a trail of mess). This is NOT naughty behaviour (developmentally at 15 month old it is not possible) he is just testing and learning about his world and boundaries. Also the ‘naughty chair’ is not recommended at this age. Childproofing and a routine is what is needed. I am actually a bit concerned that at 15months old you are considering a child to be naughty or bad.....

Don't shout but use a firm voice. That my hve the same effect as shouting. Say "No" firmly.

Take him out and tire him running about in a park. Could be you need to admit defeat and say he is to much for you with your health issues.

I had 2 boys and now a granddaughter. All extremely active. It is hard work and I found it exhausting. They need constant stimulation. I used to take them out to museums, or walks, anything to burn off some energy. Right from very small.