Is it just a nana thing?

I think if your whole life revolves totally around your granddaughter that’s very unhealthy and abnormal, really obsessive behaviour and not good for her or yourself, but without knowing more details we can’t really say, if you think it’s normal how you are feeling , then don’t question yourself jackie12

Hetty58

Polarbear2, a childcare bubble - is for childcare, not socialising.

Jackie12, I do think that there may be an element of jealousy involved. All that attention directed at the children - and away from him!

I’m doing childcare. I’m not socialising. Their mum works. I look after them when they’re not at nursery. Is that ok?

amberone Maybe you don't spend time focusing on your partner

Is one supposed to do that? Does one have to make one’s partner feel one is devoted to them?
I’ve been married to MrA for 50 years and I’ve never ‘focussed’ on him, nor him on me.
We enjoy each other’s company (some of the time) and support each other when necessary, but we’re usually focussed on our own jobs and interests.

My DH wasn’t the most hands on dad to say the least but when it comes to Grandad duties, he certainly makes up for that❤️ He is just as in love and obsessed with our first GC as I am

janeainsworth

amberone Maybe you don't spend time focusing on your partner

Is one supposed to do that? Does one have to make one’s partner feel one is devoted to them?
I’ve been married to MrA for 50 years and I’ve never ‘focussed’ on him, nor him on me.
We enjoy each other’s company (some of the time) and support each other when necessary, but we’re usually focussed on our own jobs and interests.

When I divorced - not my choice - a female colleague told me I hadn’t ‘cherished’ him enough. I nearly fell off my chair. He didn’t bl**dy “cherish” me!!! I agree with you. I like a mutually supportive partnership. Haven’t got one like but it’s what I want ???

just the sort of colleague you can do without Polarbear!

Surely it must depend on the man.

I know one step-granddad who is lovely to step Gdcs, who adore him - but then he has Gdcs of his own, so he does ‘get it’.

OTOH I knew another (no longer with us) who couldn’t understand why his wife (a 2nd marriage for both) wanted to go away for a few days to see her first newborn grandchild in another country. And became very grumpy about it. He actually said to me, ‘It’s just a baby!’

I told him to keep such sentiments strictly to himself, because people would think he was awful. He did care very much what people in general thought of him, but could be very selfish and self-centred when it came to his nearest and (supposedly) dearest.
It’s probably relevant that he’d never had any children of his own.

janeainsworth I don't think there was any suggestion of showing devotion and cherishing ? My OH would die laughing at the idea that I was devoted to him, even though we have a great relationship ???

However, I do show an interest in him and (most of) the things he is interested in. We also have our own lives and before I retired, our own careers. To the extent that I worked in the US for 3 years and Australia for 4 years while he stayed in the UK and visited for holidays and I came home for holidays.

But I have been known to occasionally do something I am not really interested in just because it would make him happy. I listen when he talks and talk to him about things we are both interested in. We can sit in the same room for hours doing our own thing almost in silence quite happily. He knows that he's important in my life, he's my partner, not just a man who shares the same house as me. He does the same for me, by the way, it's not a one way street. After all, who wants to live with someone who has no interest in them? Not me.

That's all I meant by focusing on him a bit.

Amberone ?