5 year old melt down

How I wish my SIL could act like your SIL when the children explode. It sounds like an excellent approach to quietly but firmly remove them from the room until they are ready to rejoin the more civilised beings!
Lilikemaho, the fact that your children behaved in a different manner to your children doesn't mean that they were better than the child who finds his frustration difficult to deal with. What would you expect his parents to do? Thrash his frustration out of him? You were lucky your children were less frustrated. All my children were brought up in the same way but one of them was always more frustrated than the others. She always wanted to do more than she could developmentally and so would get frustrated. She was totally unable to express herself and it looked like she was spoiled but she certainly wasn't.

Agree absolutely,

' goes past himself' as my mum used to say

'Beside himself' is another expression, one my mum used.

Both explain the situation well.

Lilikemaho

I really cant believe some of the comments I have 3well adjusted adult son never did any of them behave like this wee boy and never once did my husband or I raise our hands to them sounds to me he's a spoiled little brat

A friend of mine has an autistic grandson. When out and about he may throw a wobbly and they get looks from passers by expressing the totally unsympathetic thoughtless comment you made.

Surely in this day and age with all the knowledge we now have about behavioural problems you could be a little less narrow minded?

My daughter was the tantrum queen.
She grew out of it, and ended up normal.

My son once had a tantrum. I got a pitcher of cold water and threw it on him. He was startled out of it and that was that. No more tantrums.

Tantrums are normal, but they can be very frightening to the child. They don't understand what is happening to them or how much harm their anger can cause. Remaining calm like your SiL reassures them that however enormous their emotions, Daddy can cope.

Eventually, the little boy will learn to channel his anger better.

Bluebelle - my comment was meant to be “tongue in cheek” and a spin off from the famous sketch where the men are trying to outdo each other by saying what difficult and even cruel upbringings they all had! I think it was from The Secret Policeman’s Ball and involved some of the Monty Python team. Your remarks about my lack of empathy and compassion are unkind - you do not know what sort of person I am! Any of my friends would describe me as very kind, loving and sympathetic. I had a very happy childhood with two parents who loved me very much - I am not the bitter and twisted person who you make me out to be!

jeanrobinson

With boys it may help to give them language to describe their feelings. At bedtime, before his story, my son and I would talk about what had happened during the day: e.g. "You were very cross when your ice-lolly fell off the stick before you had finished it - I can understand that because I used to feel furious if it happened to me too."

I like that Jean. I'm sure if more of us were taught how to express our emotions from an early age there wouldn't be so many angry, frustrated people in the world.

You lucky people whose children never behaved like this, neither did mine. Count your blessings, it’s definitely the luck of the draw so there’s no point comparing or being smug. My DGC on the other hand does have tantrums occasionally, decidedly worse since the current isolation, fear and frustration, and it’s very worrying to see how upsetting it is for child and parents. Very well done to your SiL not to lose his cool too. I agree with asking them for advice about what to do if it happens when you’re in charge.

My own daughter had such a horrible tantrum at about age 3 that she ended up passing out. She was so worked up she cried until she hyperventilated. That was quite a fright for me. It lasted only long enough for her brain to take over and realize that the body needed to breathe. A few seconds at most.

If this is unusual behavior for him, I remind myself that the kids are affected even more so than us adults right now. We can understand the need for changes to our lives, even if we dont like it.

It sounds as though dad took care of the situation very well. I am not sure I can give you advice other than provide love and understanding, boundaries and keep him away from items that he could hurt himself with?

Fortunately Gilly1952 giving children a hiding is against the law now.

Smacking isn't, though, is it?
Asking for a friend.
Joking, obviously.

MissAdventure

Smacking isn't, though, is it?
Asking for a friend.
Joking, obviously.

Nor is chucking a jug of cold water over a toddler.
I can't believe anyone would do that and post it as if proud of the fact!

It used to be advised to flick cold water onto the face of children who held their breath when having a tantrum.
A pitcher does sound like overkill.

I confess to flicking drops cold water over a teenager who had difficulty getting up for school in the mornings.
Apparently just flicking a few drops feels like a jugful and I only did it once.