Alienation from Grandchildren

well probably she did.
plenty of adults feel slighted if they are talking to someone and that person then just ignores them to make/take a phone call.
isn't she entitled to have her own feelings, reactions to how you behave.
you can't expect unalloyed adoration or approval.
that would be creepy.

wellbeck Thanks but you have misunderstood. I was merely saying don't worry to other posters. It happens. sometimes you jus have to do other things. Mine was taking a call from a solicitor. No choice I just wanted to tell other grans that they can suddenly 'go off' you and not to worry. I hope I have helped some grans. ]smile]

My DiL watches over every minute of my infrequent, awkward visits. My grandson often looks her way before speaking as if he needs approval for what to say. He's not sure what he is allowed to tell Nana. Its so obvious. My DiL has become very almost overbearing with my GS constantly seeking his attention away from me while i'm visiting asking for hugs and kisses, showering him with affection and attention. Of course he loves it and has become a bit of a mama's boy during the time I've been restricted from him. To the point that he adores Disney princesses and everything related. He is 5 years old and all he asked for Christmas were princess castles, gowns and the like which is what he received. For the record I don't care if boys play with dolls and I don't care if my GS one day decides to identify as another gender, or whether he is a blue collar heavy equipment operator or a ballet star. I wouldn't love him any more or less based on any of that. I guess my point is just the over bearing-ness vibe I get from her.

Pehaps she is on the defensive and, rightly or wrongly, thinks that you do not approve of her or thinking that you are there to judge her parenting skills.

You may know that you are doing anything but it doesn't stop her thinking that. Could slowly but discretely praising her parenting skills and admiring them and saying about probems you had help. If it works, it will not be overnight, but it might gradually.

My DiL and I used to get along fine. I guess i should have mentioned a falling out we had over 2 years ago. I have tried several times to mend our relationship to no avail. Its obvious during my visits she no longer cares for me or my presence. She ignores any attempts I make at small talk etc. My grandson has repeated things to me that his mother said and they weren't exactly nice. I wish the children could be left out of it. I have come to the point of accepting I will never be in my DiL's favor but to have her saying things that may affect my grandson's relationship with me is a hard thing to accept. But I don't have any control over the situation. I must take what i can get or not see them at all.

How often 'falling outs' are at the root of family estrangements.

I sometimes think anger management and conflict rsolution should form part of the school curriculum!