Grandkids ignore us when other grandparents are around

I doubt if the OP is looking at the latest posts.
They posted on the 21st November 2022

Cheri

You are cold hearted!

Why did you, as a first time poster, resurrect a post from 2021
and then make such a rude comment.

We had this problem in our extended family only we were the preferred grandparents and the other pair got very upset. We have solved it by no longer seeing the children together. For example, we visit on Christmas Eve and they do Boxing Day and the children’s birthdays are spread over two days. It all sounds a bit childish but it works.

Hi there! So sorry, yes its very hurtful. My situation is similar. My grand daughter often rejects me when around her aunty. If her aunty is not around, papa is always her go to. She's only interested when its just me. A lot of people tell you , you've done something, whether it be reaction or strong perfume. I just think its a preference and they will go to you if you meet their needs. Apparently up to the age of 7 kids are very selfish. A lot of people say, don't take it personally. They dont get it. Just listen to those who do get it and have some good advice. We dont want to be the favourites, just be loved. We are happy to share, good luck with it all. Ill be feeling for you. All the best.

petra

Cheri

You are cold hearted!

Why did you, as a first time poster, resurrect a post from 2021
and then make such a rude comment.

How do new posters find these old threads?

Why do they post, when the OP has probably moved on?

Why do people add to an old thread? (Guilty as charged, M'Lud!)

I'm trying to bump the spam off the active list, as suggested.

Sending you virtual support 💖
Concentrate on your personal relationship with your grandchildren and shower them with love. Build up your own unique relationship with them. It will pay dividends when they are older. Children can cope with a wide range of interactions. I have 5 grandchildren and I try not to compete …

They're 5 & 3..so don't think this a deliberate attempt to upset you... Do they spend more time with the other grandparents? If so that could be it, they're just more familiar to the kids. Are you all together a lot? Or is it the odd occasion? Ignore it when you're all together, chat to the kids and whoever's lap they're sat on..be friendly to the other grandparents when you meet. When it's just you there with the family interact with the kids as much as possible.. Ignore the other grandma's behaviour, perhaps she sees them less than you, or she's so insecure she sees you as a bit of a threat to her grandma time. You could just cut down on the time you are there when other grandparents are too and visit a bit more on your own.

This is an old post, so I don't know if you will see this. But when I saw it, it really pulled up a memory for me. I did this to my grandparents when I was young. And sadly, my favorite grandparents were the ones I ignored. I can't explain it really, other than I wanted to keep them seperate from the dynamic of the gathering. Makes zero sense and had thought about it when I got older and felt bad about it. I guess the point is, if you have a good relationship with your grandkids, just try to not let it get to you. Your relationship with them is unique to you and separate from anybody else! Update if you see this and let us know how it is going! I am a new grandma and know this would be hard for me as well!

I would find this incredibly hurtful and would probably not see the children with the other grandparents.