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Grandparenting

Buying for adult grandchildren

(52 Posts)
BBNan5 Thu 03-Aug-23 13:36:10

Just curious as to how long others carry on buying birthday and Christmas presents for grown up grandchildren? 2 of our 6 gc are in their 20s with good jobs and salary. They don’t buy for us but that’s not really why I’m asking. They mostly like designer clothes etc but we don’t really have a designer pension. Would welcome others views.

Soozikinzi Thu 03-Aug-23 13:41:35

We stop at 21 old fashioned but seems to work ?

Hithere Thu 03-Aug-23 13:44:33

Money?
Decide to stop?

Desdemona Thu 03-Aug-23 13:50:35

Just send a card.

Germanshepherdsmum Thu 03-Aug-23 13:53:10

If they don’t give you presents why are you still doing so?

M0nica Thu 03-Aug-23 16:52:46

We will always continue to buy DGC presents, BUT, we have a budget. We are comfortably off and only have 2 grandchildren, so the budget is £50. They are still at the point where we buy things, but we are starting to move to tokens for birthdays. Zara tokens go down very well with DGD. If you have less money and more grandchildren, the budget could be as low as you like.

As for them giving you nothing. We EXCHANGE gifts with our DGC and if they didn't give us something, even if it is only somethig small and trivial, and say thank you, they would get nothing.

Grammaretto Thu 03-Aug-23 17:06:46

DMiL used to pop a £10 note in a card for everyone. She had about 10 to buy for
I have 7 DGC and not a huge budget so I'm thinking I'll do the same. Except £10 into their account seems mean so I give more.
My eldest is 17 next week.
I find it hard too so no good suggestions, sorry

Justwidowed Thu 03-Aug-23 17:30:38

I have 10 DGGC and 2 DGC ( these are all under 18).They all receive £25 for birthdays and Christmas .When they reach 18 all presents stop.I also have 10 foster GGC and they all receive a small gift.
I'm hoping that the family doesn't expand any further !!
With four birthdays inside two weeks,this month's Premium Bonds win will only help a bit.

Shelflife Thu 03-Aug-23 17:36:20

We will stop gift buying when our GC reach 21. Will push the boat out a bit for their 21sts - but that will be their last gift.

henetha Thu 03-Aug-23 17:45:38

I still buy presents for adult children and grandchildren because I like to do so.

BBNan5 Thu 03-Aug-23 17:50:23

Thank you all for your responses. My 2 eldest GC are 22 and 25 and I was feeling guilty about maybe stopping buying them presents. I will now continue with the younger ones until they all reach 21 & stop for the older 2 with a much clearer conscience! 😀

Norah Thu 03-Aug-23 18:01:18

Our many GC are in their 40s to teens - we give money. To our GGC, GGGC we give gifts, they are young enough to enjoy paper and ribbons. smile

tanith Thu 03-Aug-23 18:06:21

I stop when they reached 18 only now buy or give money to the younger ones including the GGC.

Allsorts Thu 03-Aug-23 18:08:25

I give mine money, they always send me a card and buy me a gift, it’s a fraction of what I give but that doesn’t matter. Would like to see them more but understand working full time and having a social life comes first. If I couldn’t afford it I wouldn’t do it so it’s not a problem.

BlueBelle Thu 03-Aug-23 18:10:21

As for them giving you nothing. We EXCHANGE gifts with our DGC and if they didn't give us something, even if it is only somethig small and trivial, and say thank you, they would get nothing

But surely you give because you love someone not to get something back

I still give to my adult children So why wouldn’t I give to my adult grandchildren ? They ll always be my grandchildren how ever old they are

Grandma70s Thu 03-Aug-23 18:23:23

We stop at 21, too, but still give presents (money usually) for special events, like graduation, wedding and so on.

SachaMac Thu 03-Aug-23 18:45:39

I think I will carry on while I can still afford it and while I’m still around. I have six GC to buy for plus two step GC. I do think it’s wise to put a limit on the amount you spend and stick to it. When I was still working I would end up going out buying lots of stocking fillers for them all as well as the main present at Christmas and the cost soon wracked up. I stopped that when I retired. As they get older it’s easier to just give them the money or vouchers to buy whatever they want.
My mum who’s in her late 80’s still gives all the GC and Great GC a set amount for birthdays & Christmas even though we have told her there’s no need to, she enjoys doing it.

Tenko Thu 03-Aug-23 18:56:49

My DM gives money to the GC ages from 15 to 32 . She’s financially very comfortable and also gives money to myself, my 2 siblings and 2 SIL.
We all give my DM gifts at Christmas and birthday .

crazyH Thu 03-Aug-23 18:57:28

I’m a giver and am too generous really. 5AC and 6GC. I may as well give it to them now. I intend to retain my house and enough savings for house maintenance and emergencies, My monthly income is adequate (alimony from my Ex, state pension and a very small private pension) plus meagre interest from my savings. But I’m not complaining.

crazyH Thu 03-Aug-23 18:59:09

I should say, 3 AC and 2 d.i.ls

Norah Thu 03-Aug-23 21:39:14

BlueBelle

*As for them giving you nothing. We EXCHANGE gifts with our DGC and if they didn't give us something, even if it is only somethig small and trivial, and say thank you, they would get nothing*

But surely you give because you love someone not to get something back

I still give to my adult children So why wouldn’t I give to my adult grandchildren ? They ll always be my grandchildren how ever old they are

We give because we love them, not for a return gift.

We give very generously to AC and GC. Can't take it to a grave.

Primrose53 Thu 03-Aug-23 22:05:40

BlueBelle

*As for them giving you nothing. We EXCHANGE gifts with our DGC and if they didn't give us something, even if it is only somethig small and trivial, and say thank you, they would get nothing*

But surely you give because you love someone not to get something back

I still give to my adult children So why wouldn’t I give to my adult grandchildren ? They ll always be my grandchildren how ever old they are

I agree with BlueBelle. It’s not about expecting anything back it’s about them not even thinking about their grans/grandads.

I think 16 is a good age to stop actually. Two of my adult nieces never bothered to even text me (which takes seconds) when I sent them gifts for their new babies, birthday gifts and they never remember my birthday. So now they just get a birthday message from me by text or Facebook. No gifts for them or their kids. They are old enough to think about people other than themselves.

Georgesgran Thu 03-Aug-23 22:59:35

I only have 2 DDs and 2 DGSs and I’ll continue to buy them presents for birthdays and Christmas for as long as I’m here. Like Norah henetha BlueBelle and CrazyH I enjoy giving and happy to buy to give but not to receive. They do reciprocate, but know to give me only small gifts - my favourite perfume is always welcome.
DD2 has a big birthday this month, so it’s a good handbag, cheque and perfume for her.

Wyllow3 Thu 03-Aug-23 23:14:32

My own family decided all together to stop at 18 after my brother decided, so it was cards after that.

Obviously that hasn't stopped helping out with money or other sorts of help at different times.

Not sure about my own grandchildren, will see what Dil's family do!

henetha Thu 03-Aug-23 23:18:10

I can't understand why we would not want to give gifts to those we love the most. I don't want anything in return , as they know, but they often do buy me something.