Only children

Even if I had a lot to leave after my death my decision would be the
same . For the record I have not forgotten gifts to charity , despite it being small amounts.
Any way this is derailing the original thread which was not my intention.

I never said I had a " lot to inherit" seems you jump to conclusions
BlueBelle.

I was an only child, and have never regretted it. Both DF and DM had three siblings, so I had cousins I could relate to as a child. DCs are identical twins and very close, but I have known others who were not on speaking terms.

I loved being an "only" and like Germanshepherdsmum felt that was "normal" - which it was, to me.

The noise of big families, lack of corners to curl up to read, lots of chaos. Boys in particular being annoying.. little privacy..
Best of all worlds as a young girl I thought... visit then come away!

I did have lots of friends, a "busy life" with the privilege of "activities" that might not have been possible if there had been several children. I had quite a lot of freedom too I think.

No cousins. Didn't miss them.

One of my adult children has an only daughter. But she has 10 cousins. Six relatively nearby. Only one close age-wise.

Regarding the care and worry of older parents... a friend with siblings said she thought it was easier to be an only in this situation. Nobody to be annoyed with and nobody to undo decisions made in their best interests.

I did briefly wish I had a sibling when Mum was dying - like Germanshepherdsmum This was when I discussed it with my friend. I haven't thought it since.

I certainly don't think it's a good reason to have more than one offspring!

I’m an only one and always felt the odd one out. I always asked for a sibling at Christmas but it never happened. My parents have been ill most of my adult life, so could have done with the emotional support if nothing else.
My DH thankfully has four siblings, we’re all close, so at least my own two children have had an extended family.

Grandma70s

My sister-in-law didn’t like being an only, but she had very idealised views about relationships between siblings. She was surprised to discover that my brother and I pretty much ignored each other. He’s four years older than me, we never went to the same school or had any interests in common. I felt like an only child and people often thought I was

Me too Grandma70 too many years difference for us to ever be close, he died some years ago.

But I always felt like an only child too, especially as he was the ‘golden child’ and could do no wrong.

Our 2 were very close and they are now almost 50 and 52 yrs old, yes they grew apart, but now talk most days on the phone or text each other, we had lunch together yesterday in Bristol and they were chatting away, but they both lead totally different lives now.
This has been a difficult year for them both of them, but when each of them were ill and we were abroad, they travelled over 200 miles to help each other and I think that’s the main thing, that they are there for each other when they end to be.
I never had that and always wanted a sister!

Need to be.

I was one of two, and have two children myself.

I know after my DD was born, I was keen to have another child. I realise it doesn’t always work out like that, but being so happy with her made me want another, in fact I somehow felt I would have been more upset to only have one child than none, which must sound heartless to those who are desperate to have even one child, I don’t mean it to.

Just that two was great for us.

(Should add that now DD lives in Australia, she and her brother are not close, no fall out or anything, just both leading their own separate and distant lives. Wish they were closer, but just how it is.)

I'm an only, and I've felt differently at different stages of my life.

When I was young, even though I had a very happy childhood, I would often beg my mum to have another baby because I was jealous of my friends who had siblings. Although, I do remember those friends at the time telling me how lucky I was not to have to share everything, including my mum & dad.

By the time I was a teenager, I'd changed my mind, and I was glad I was an only child. I had my lovely dad wrapped around my little finger, and I didn't want for anything. I'm sure it would've been very different with more children to take care of.

By the time I was a mature adult, I'd changed my mind yet again. My parents both became ill younger than I would have imagined, and I had no one to share the burden. The stress of taking care of them, first my mother, then my father, and the heartache of eventually losing them, without having a sibling to share all the ups and downs with, was extremely difficult. The sadness, loneliness and heartache that I felt almost broke me. I did have lots of support from my DH, and my own adult children, and other members of the family helped and supported as much as they could. However, I don't think that this was the same as having a close sibling to share these different life stages with. I basically had to put my life on hold for a very long time, and it's a lot for one person to cope with.
For this reason, if there's a choice in the matter, I wouldn't wish being an only child upon anyone.

Whilst mine is an only child, I had hoped for another but decided against it due to my body not actually coping with pregnancy and not wishing to have to rely on others to look after my child whilst going through another pregnancy.

In conversation with my ex this week who is one of five, and who has ailing parents, all the practicalities seem to be falling to the only sister.

I'm in the 'might as well have been an only' group. In fact, 'would almost certainly have been happier as an only' might be more accurate, as my brother, three years older than me, only really had two attitudes towards me: ignoring me, or teasing me.

For most of our adult lives, there has been no contact between us at all. There has never been a single "how are you doing?" type phonecall / conversation between us ever - neither of us would know what to say to the other anyway after all this time!

Having a sibling certainly hasn't added anything positive to my life, and the hurt that it caused me as I was growing up has never gone away.

Luckily, my own two children (sons) have quite a good relationship.

I was an only child, which I didn't mind, but I wanted and was fortunate to have two children,who had fun together as children, and saw how supportive they were/ are of each other, and how they share the burden of me!

It must be nice if you are able to have more than one child. I’m the third generation of my family who couldn’t.

My brother was twelve years older than me. By the time I was at school, he was no longer living in the family home, so I always felt like an ONLY, I loved this and fully appreciated the extras that this brought to me, including my own bedroom. I did have an imaginary younger sister, which my Mum coped with very well, but my Dad found difficult and could never ndeestand why I got so upset when he refused to kiss her goodnight, etc.

In adulthood I was an ONLY as my brother would disappear for years at the time, and was not around for either of our parents demise.

Always stated that I wantd four children, and actually ended up with six (four and five came as one package, and sixth started out as fostered - and stayed).

I love it that they all get on very well, Two of my g.children are only's. They do have their cousins, and are both very confident people.

I'm an only child and longed for siblings when I was growing up. We had no money and my parents both worked very hard so I was left to my own devices most of the time, and was a "latchkey kid" from the age of 5. No one turned a hair in those days.

I had to learn how to entertain myself, and the benefit of that is that I learnt to read long before school, always had my nose in a book, or drawing and painting, or playing solitary games .... but I didn't like being lonely and alone.

I was determined if at all possible to have more than one child, and was lucky enough to have 2 (and 2 miscarriages). I love it that my son and daughter are close and will have each other when I pop my clogs.

I have a brother and, as much as I do have love for him, he has caused so much stress, caused so many issues and been such a burden over the years that I often find myself thinking that I wish I had been an 'only' and my life would have been so much more enjoyable. I am now very low contact with him which works much better.

Calendergirl
Same here, one in Aus, one down the road and they are very different, like chalk and cheese.
I consider myself lucky to have 3 sisters and we are a very happy family. Well most of the time! We live quite a way from each other but get together and are there for each other.
I have one GS and I do feel sorry for him although he seems fine with his situation. What concerns me is that he has never had to battle for what he wants and has not (IMO) had to learn to share. It’s a helpful lesson.
As Peppa pig would say ‘it is what it is’.

I have a sister. I have never hated anyone so intensely! Luckily, I grew out of that when I became a teenager and we're quite close now; she and her family will be at ours for Christmas Day.

I am an only child and I would have given anything for siblings when my Dad died when I was 14 and my Mum when I was 16.
Luckily I now have a good friend whose Mum also died so we can compare notes, so to speak.

Thank your blessings... i was only able to birth one child..

I'm an only, as was my dad, although my mum was one of 5 so I do have 6 cousins. My DH mum was also an only. DH has one sister so my 2 children have only 2 cousins they never see as live far away.
I would have loved a sibling, or two !
I really envied classmates who were from big families. I still envy friends now who have siblings. Grass is always greener I suppose.
One thing that really used to annoy me was when 'anyone' would say "I bet you're spoilt"! - No, I wasn't. You cannot spoil one child unless you have two or more and one becomes a favourite.
I think being an only is why I loved school so much. It was my social life as well, I hated weekends as I was on my own, it has made me a voracious reader, for which I'm thankful but I'm sure nowadays I would be given the label of Autism were I of school age as I find mixing incredibly hard.
Being an only gives you no social skills but does make you very analytical and not one to suffer fools.

I would have loved to have had a brother or sister, especially now I am older. One of my grandchildren is an ‘ only’ but she sees her cousins a fair bit and has a very social nature. When I was a child I had a difficult relationship with my mother and I was very shy as a result of being made to feel inadequate. Things improved when I left home and understood that she had a mental illness. If I had had a sibling I think life would have been easier (perhaps ) .

I’m an only child, I had a great childhood but now I’d love to have siblings to chat with or pop for a cuppa I’m 67.
My eldest dd only had one dd who is now 14 so will remain an only child I expect.