Granddaughter is so rude

Sorry to hear this. Can you give any more details. Such as her age, how long she has been rude, her home life. Are there any particular areas of conversation that trigger this behaviour?

She is 11, probably hormonal, but no excuse for her rudeness. Mum is separated from her dad and now in (another!) new relationship

Definitely her age , my granddaughter's are 13 and nearly 12. The eldest one was really rude to me a few weeks ago , my daughter struggles with all of them, 6 year old grandson has adhd . I just said to my granddaughter, don't speak to me like that and she apologised.

so there is an excuse, or at least a poss explanation, right there in your last sentence.
and that's assuming that she is rude.

How is she rude?

Try and be supportive. A new man in her and her mother's life life? "Another" new man rings an alarm bell. Is her mum your daughter? Does she spend time with her dad? Do you see her dad? Can you talk to her dad if he is your son?
She sounds like a little girl needing your support and help not a reprimand.
You haven't given much idea of bow she is "rude".

She might be crying out for help. It’s hard for a girl coming into puberty when her parents have split up and even harder when there is a new man on the scene. Try and have a private word with your daughter about the situation. Maybe she is loved up with the new bloke to even see what is happening. Hugs not reprimands.

I agree she is probably needing support and understanding. Her mum is preoccupied with new partner instead of her daughter at a crucial time in life

A ‘new’ man is usually the woman’s centre of attention, the little kid is going through a massive upheaval and probably around puberty too when her whole body is changing
I think she needs more understanding and love

"Another new relationship" sounds quite disruptive for your gd. Is her mother your daughter? How does this rudeness manifest? You aren't giving much away with your answers OP.

Imagine rudeness is verbal, cheeky, general attitude, the usual,
What else would it be? We don’t need detail? We surely all know what Rudeness is.

NannySue45

She is 11, probably hormonal, but no excuse for her rudeness. Mum is separated from her dad and now in (another!) new relationship

There's your answer!
How many new relationships has her mother had since splitting from your granddaughter's father?

It's a difficult age, I've noticed DGD, who's a bit older, becoming rather moody and hormonal when she was such a sunny-natured little girl.

If she's 11, has she just started at senior school too? Thst can be overwhelming. She has a lot to contend with.

She might just be tired.

Cut her some slack, show her you love her whatever, don't quiz her, but be ready to listen. 🙂

Is she rude when it's just the two of you?
Or is she doing it for her mum?

NotSpaghetti

Is she rude when it's just the two of you?
Or is she doing it for her mum?

Attention-seeking. Very possible.

Sometimes young teenagers just don’t realise how rude they have been unless they are pulled up on it. That’s how to learn boundaries.

I am sure there is a raft of explanations for your granddaughter's rudeness. There always is.
However, she should not be speaking to you like that and you must NOT tolerate it.
Make it clear immediately it is not acceptable:
'I am sorry?' What did you just say? Are you speaking to me? with an appropriate tone of voice and facial expression.

I agree with those who say a new relationship can have a massive negative effect on kids. Many turn in on themselves, lock themselves away and don’t share their feelings because they feel disloyal to their parent.

My niece has a teenager who is rude, moody and now self harming on a regular basis. She no longer goes to school. Poor kid has known several partners since her parents split. Each one is supposed to be “the one” but they never work out. My husband and I can’t understand why the niece can’t just give up on men for a few years and concentrate on her kids but of course, it’s not our place to say anything.

This is a general comment not related to this thread.
In my years working in child protection there were times when new boyfriends of mothers were abusing young daughters snd once a young son too,
Perhaps something worth keeping in mind.

eazybee we have no idea what she has said to her nan as nannysue hasn’t told us so how do you know ?

However, she should not be speaking to you like that and you must NOT tolerate it like what ???

She's very likely fearfulof losing her mum as well as her dad and is taking it out on someone she trusts will continue to love her.. I would really try to listen to what is under her rudeness and reassure her that she will always be loved by you and her parents.. it's a tough age and she has many other things to worry about as well with the state of the world. She sounds like she is just desperate for some stability in her life.

I would really try to listen to what is under her rudeness ...... good advice pascal and while doing that NannySue you can address the fact that she was rude.

silverlining48

This is a general comment not related to this thread.
In my years working in child protection there were times when new boyfriends of mothers were abusing young daughters snd once a young son too,
Perhaps something worth keeping in mind.

Yes, just be aware.

In what way is she rude?

A cry for help from a confused young girl who, presumably, also lacks siblings, She must be feeling alone and deserted, even her mother prefers, her various (successive) boyfriends to her daughter.

My reaction would be to love her and cuddle her whenever she is rude, assure her you will always be there for her and love her, then tell her gently that what she said/did was rude and she really shouldn't do it again, but make no threats about what will happen if she does.