Competitive other grandma

Take heart. It’s early days. I felt like that when my GD was born. Her other Nana was an EY teacher while I was more at home with juniors. They lived near her and she is better off than me with huge house in its own grounds. Turns out that she is such a doting Nana that she encourages the children ( we also now have a GS ) to defy parental rules and keep secrets from their parents . They are never allowed to stay overnight at her house but it seems , that a sleepover at mine is used as a reward . Swings & roundabouts.

Children become suspicious of adults 'trying too hard'! Even as small children your gd will know there's something 'different' about the other gm. Let time work it's magic. As you say you have a lovely relationship so far, that's a good thing.

Hi Briget, I am in a similar situation, but I’ve learnt not to compete, it’s just not worth it. My granddaughters are 7 and 5 and they are my sons. I’m not forever splashing cash at them, but have found on occasions that when the other grandma is around GD’s mum will say ask grandma to do whatever and I’ve found that if the other try’s to do it the 5 year old will say not you I mean the other grandma meaning me. I think that is maybe because I spend time doing activities with them and interacting with them more. It’s not about splashing cash about or gifts all the time, to me it’s spending quality time with them, that’s the memories they will remember.

Yes it could be my insecurities but I've known this other grandmother for 10 years and have been away with my best friend and her. Sadly she is terribly jealous of that relationship and feels she always has to be asked if we just want to go away together. I have backed away from her this last year as I don't need the negativity in my life. Call it what you like but when you are in the company of the other grandmother and you only get a short time to hold your gc and she just takes over all day then one does feel not good enough

A dear friend of mine is having a tough time right now. Her husband is terminally ill and maybe only has a few months to live (he's 59). I want to get her something that will comfort her but I need some ideas. I thought of a big soft cuddly bear (or similar) but obviously she's not 5 anymore so would that seem odd? I've bought her flowers and chocolates already. And she knows I'm here if she needs me. But some ideas for a comforting gift would be lovely.

JustkeepswimmingDonna

A dear friend of mine is having a tough time right now. Her husband is terminally ill and maybe only has a few months to live (he's 59). I want to get her something that will comfort her but I need some ideas. I thought of a big soft cuddly bear (or similar) but obviously she's not 5 anymore so would that seem odd? I've bought her flowers and chocolates already. And she knows I'm here if she needs me. But some ideas for a comforting gift would be lovely.

You need to start a new thread as this is such a different topic to the OP. Go in to Forums and there is a link at top of page to start a new thread

lol sounds like most of us. I have both types one that favours her older granddaughter and ignores my granddaughter and the other she buys her grandson’s but I don’t buy my grandson I just give him time and do crafts etc and he loves me just the same if he tells me what he’s had bought I just say that is nice lol kids can’t be bought

JustkeepswimmingDonna

A dear friend of mine is having a tough time right now. Her husband is terminally ill and maybe only has a few months to live (he's 59). I want to get her something that will comfort her but I need some ideas. I thought of a big soft cuddly bear (or similar) but obviously she's not 5 anymore so would that seem odd? I've bought her flowers and chocolates already. And she knows I'm here if she needs me. But some ideas for a comforting gift would be lovely.

Having nursed my best friend through cancer help her plan her funeral for 5 months. I was also bought flowers and chocolate and bath care sets but one friend wanted to get something she got a memory book and we wrote stuff in it and took lots of photos my bestie is no longer with us but out of all the things Ive still got that book to look back and remember but she doesn’t need gifts she just needs a hug and told she’s not alone just be there for her when she needs to cry or scream it out.

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My mom was the Grandma that shoveled out money and huge gifts to my daughters. She took them on expensive vacations, paid for cars, proms dresses, clothes. She couldn't be stopped, still can't be stopped and they are in their 30's now!!! Over the top! They do love her to this day.

Their Grandfather on their father's side. Never bought them expensive items, but he loved them and spent time with them and talk with them. He took them to church, and out to eat each Sunday. He had small family parties for them on their birthdays. He attended their school events, and was a stable presence in their life. They loved him so much and my mom was always jealous of him because we always kept the two families separate knowing that my mom would rule the roost if given the chance.

Just do you and stay away as much as possible from her and her antics.