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Grandparenting

Update on Grandaughter Situation

(70 Posts)
Axzder Wed 25-Sept-24 12:20:19

6 Months ago had a fall out with my 34 Year old Granddaughter did ask for advice on here most people were most helpful, unfortunately her other Grandma passed away at the weekend she was in a care home not to well over the last few months.
I sent a text message to say we were sorry to hear about her Grandma and our thoughts were with her, sent back it’s a pity it wasn’t you to say I am devastated is an understatement not slept not eaten it just keeps going round in my head that someone who I have loved all her life can wish me Dead, My Husband just says ignore her and treat it with the contempt it deserves, she is 36 Years old in a very professional job so she does know what she is saying, I did not react to her text but any advice I would be most grateful, Our son and her Mother have been divorced for years and both remarried but her Mum likes to live her life for her,

Macadia Tue 20-May-25 06:49:17

There are always two sides to every story people.

BlueBelle Tue 20-May-25 07:17:38

Not always Macadia sometimes some people just get a total bee in their bonnet for no known (to others) reason and because they refuse to be open and explain they fester and it gets bigger and bigger
Unfortunately this young lady has for what ever reason (being brought to task my her dad maybe although that’s seems pretty minor) let it get bigger and bigger in her head
I would leave it for now there is nothing you can do without making it worse the more you step forward the more she ll step back
I m so sorry there are no better answers Axzder concentrate on getting strong and those that show you care and love

GrannyIvy Tue 20-May-25 07:52:22

I think you have to let her go and I feel sad for you but concentrate now on those who love you and want to be in your life. I hope you get well soon.

Cossy Tue 20-May-25 09:31:54

Let her, and it, go!

Acegik Wed 21-May-25 14:00:49

Very hard for you, but feel you should take the higher ground.

georgia101 Wed 21-May-25 14:05:16

I think you should enjoy the memories of her as a lovely young child, and dismiss this disrespectful, resentful grown up from your life. She's no longer the girl you loved. You won't be losing out.

Etoile2701 Wed 21-May-25 14:26:08

She sounds a horrible person.

AuntieE Wed 21-May-25 14:42:33

At her age she should know better than to have said such a dreadful thing.

I would not want to see or hear from her ever again, unless she of her own accord came and apologised.

Grandmotherto8 Wed 21-May-25 14:43:58

Terribly sad and upsetting for you. You did nothing wrong and your son was trying to support you and give fatherly advice to his daughter. She has behaved appallingly and will one day reflect on how she has treated you. I wonder if she is encouraged by her mother. For your own benefit you need to stop reaching out to her, as when you do you get an unpleasant reaction from her. Just wait until you get an apology from her. She's acting like a hormonal teenager not a professional woman in her 30's.

sazz1 Wed 21-May-25 14:47:42

She sounds a really nasty person and will probably never change. No point trying to contact her anymore unless she sends an apology and is genuinely sorry
I'm quite hard when people are nasty to me as I never contact them again. A close relative had a big argument with me and ordered me out of their house. 3 years later she sent her daughter to invite me around and we became friends again. I always think they will need me before I need them and I've found this to be true through life.
Best wishes ❤️ OP you are better off without a granddaughter like that. xxxxx

Scottiegran999 Wed 21-May-25 15:22:53

Heartbreaking but I think you need to step away. Focus on what you’ve got. Your hubby sounds a great support

4allweknow Wed 21-May-25 20:28:59

Sounds like a very spoiled, selfish 36 year old. Feel no matter what you say or do to try to smooth things over nothing will work, everything having to be on GDs terms.
Forget the whole thing, do not react in any way. As the saying goes, you can pick your friends, not your relations.

Allsorts Sun 22-Jun-25 15:16:36

Axyder, This post took my breath away, a woman 36 saying that to anyone let alone her grandmother is unforgivable. Her mother no better, I would have said straight away to my d about the shopping, no its your Nan’s birthday, she’s ill, we can go shopping another time, but she doesn't need telling.You are better off without her and I would not want her.

Crossstitchfan Sun 22-Jun-25 15:25:03

Grandmafrench

You need to listen to your DH and put a stop on all and any contact. If nothing else, she’ll have had the last word, but have no idea of whether she’s hurt you, and she’ll have just gone from 2 possible loving Grans……to none. Just what she deserves, because she’s not a child, but a nasty, poisoned woman who clearly likes to live in the past and think she’ll always have the chance to strike a blow for her equally stupid Mother!

Ignore it, Axzder.You behaved well, she’s beyond hope. Save your love and concern for those who deserve it - and forget what she said. It’s the voice of a spiteful loser and you must believe you’re worth so much more. End the game and move on.💐

Grandmafrench has taken the words right out of my mouth. I completely (and not for the first time) agree with the advice she gave you.
You must be sad, but you need to get past this and live your own life.

Crossstitchfan Sun 29-Jun-25 11:56:45

I may be wrong, but I think someone has made this up! It just doesn’t ring true that someone would be that nasty, whether they love you or not.
If I am wrong, then sorry, but I don’t think I am!

Crossstitchfan Sun 29-Jun-25 11:58:10

Crossstitchfan

I may be wrong, but I think someone has made this up! It just doesn’t ring true that someone would be that nasty, whether they love you or not.
If I am wrong, then sorry, but I don’t think I am!

Having read my last couple of messages, I realise I did sort of believe it at first, but then common sense took over!

butterandjam Sun 29-Jun-25 12:46:51

That was a horrible thing for her to say.

I would not attend the funeral or send flowers, and if anyone questioned that I'd tell them exactly why.

midgey Sun 29-Jun-25 17:53:19

The funeral must have taken place some time ago, the original post was September 2024.

Madgran77 Sun 29-Jun-25 18:10:29

Crossstitchfan

I may be wrong, but I think someone has made this up! It just doesn’t ring true that someone would be that nasty, whether they love you or not.
If I am wrong, then sorry, but I don’t think I am!

I'm afraid there are people who will say things as nasty is this. I have seen it and heard it ...not to me but to someone close who I have supported.