too old to be guardians?

Dear lulus I can’t help with legal advice but I want to say I’m sorry for this sad and worrying situation, it must be very hard. How wonderful that you are willing and able to step in.

A family member has recently been made guardian for her 13 year old grandson and she has had a lot of support from social services. She is also 78, but this is in Ireland not UK.

Sending good wishes.

I am so very sorry to hear about your daughter lulus3, that is truly heartbreaking.
As for your question I don’t think there would necessarily be an age limit especially as you are grandparents.
There are several different ways to arrange this and suggest you contact your local social services or Citizens Advice.
Best wishes to you all

Highly unlikely SS woukd want to place them in care if they have loving willing grandparents and if the children want to come to you they are old enough to state their own wishes and have them considered.
I am a retired social worker with over 20 years experience in this area.

I think you need to see a solicitor. I’ve had a hunt on the Internet and as I understand it if you are appointed guardians in your daughters will that is binding, in law, unless it is challenged.

The onus is then on the challenger to prove that you are not competent to be guardians. I suppose social services might challenge it on grounds of age but I think it unlikely.

I did specifically put in Scotland so I hope this is accurate but a solicitor would confirm or otherwise. And help you with the will.

I am very sorry that you are having to deal with this worry as well as the heartbreak.

I think your grandchildrens ages work in your favour because 16 is the age of majority in Scotland and your oldest grandchild could theoretically take on guardianship of the others if absolutely necessary in a few years. I think there might be a problem leaving their father out of the equation, regardless of how useless your daughter and you consider him to be. The courts might want his involvement. I am very sorry about your daughter though.

Very very sorry to hear about your daughter Lulus Ihope everything goes well they are not very young children so I really hope you get custody of them 💐

I am not a lawyer but as I understand it, appointing guardians in your will means they are legally responsible for the children, making decisions, handling their finances etc, but not necessarily that they must be the ones to provide their accommodation.
So to me that suggests that what happens in the case of your grandchildren must be what you want/ approve of. I

many thanks for the replies everyone - it is specifically stated in her will that we are to be legal guardians, and we have checked for more info with various Scottish law sites, seems like we have to go through the family court to make it permanent, and possibly have to argue with the useless ex! My husband plus her best friend are joint executors, and will also be joint trustees of the children's inherited money - so two different ages handling things, which is a good plan I think. Many reasons why he wouldn't get them, not just us saying this. Don't really want to involve social services unless we have to, as there are so many horror stories around, not least having children put into the care system while they do long drawn-out checks, which can take months! (There would be nothing against us at all other than age) Our daughter's will plus children's views we know will be taken into account, really just looking to see if anyone in their 70's has had to deal with this.

Grandmabatty

I think your grandchildrens ages work in your favour because 16 is the age of majority in Scotland and your oldest grandchild could theoretically take on guardianship of the others if absolutely necessary in a few years. I think there might be a problem leaving their father out of the equation, regardless of how useless your daughter and you consider him to be. The courts might want his involvement. I am very sorry about your daughter though.

yes, we had thought of that. Once eldest is 16 she can just choose to stay here with no intervention anyway. There are many reasons why their father is unsuitable for them to live there, but we would still allow him to see them as he does now, roughly every month or so (works away) and basically their contact wouldn't really change, so I'm hoping to make him see sense and agree to things staying the same while we get legal residence. Again, his only argument might be our age, but apart from that he has nothing to offer on his side. Hoping he can see how minimising their upheaval and dealing with their grief is best served by them living with us.

I was involved with elderly grandparents of a 10 year old who they were looking after permanently. It worked very well.
It happens a lot unfortunately for all sorts of reasons. Yours is the saddest.
Is your ex son in law likely to contest you having the children live with you? If so you it Woukd be sensible to seek legal advice.

X post, I hadn’t seen your last post.

I can’t advise but I just want to say I am so sorry you find yourself in this sad situation. My love and hugs for your daughter, the children, your husband and you. So brave 😍

A relative of ours is in your situation. The child goes to various summer camps and activities to relieve the great-grandparents who look after him.

thank you for the kind words. Worst part is watching someone so ill fighting so hard to stay for her beloved children, knowing time is fast slipping away, and nothing we can do for her except make sure she knows they will always be so loved.

so sorry to hear about you daughter, I hope the GC will be able to live with you, I'm sure it would be what they will want too.x

I haven’t worked in Scotland but believe the law relating to children is similar.
I feel confident the wishes of your daughter, no doubt supported by yourselves and the children, will be respected by the Courts.
Your age is less important than the life long, loving relationships. In what way has your daughter named you as `guardians. Is it in her will and did she seek legal advice about the wording? The wishes of the children will be followed unless there are significant reasons not to.
I’m not wanting to raise anxieties because this sounds the kind of way of managing awful family events the family courts support
Very best wishes to you and your family x

I’m so sorry you’re facing this tragic situation, Lulus3, my heart goes out to you. Sorry I have no advice to offer.

I'm England....here you would need to apply to the courts for an SGO .....otherwise you have no PR for them so cannot consent to healthcare for them or anything else

Pressed too soon...the father has PR ....so it is on your interest to apply for an SGO.

What a sad time for you lulus3.

I am in Scotland, my DH is seventy four and I am sixty nine. We have been designated legal guardians in my son and daughter in law's wills.
I don't know the ins and outs, but it was all done through a solicitor.

Iam64 lulus3 said it’s in her daughters will
I can’t help lulus but I really hope everything works out for you all, what a terribly sad situation, my very best wishes.

Lulus3, I’m sorry you’re having to face losing your daughter. I can only comment on my own experience, my Gran was made my legal guardian when I was 15 shortly before my mother died, my Gran was 76 years old at that time, I did have older siblings, but neither was in a position to take me in. My father died when I was 6 and we had limited contact with that side of the family for several years. The court agreed it was the best option for me to remain with people who cared about my welfare, I pray the courts will support your daughters wishes.

I’m so very sorry to hear this, on a practical note can I assume your dear daughter has made a will specifying her wishes, if not then she should, were I in your place I would also retain a solicitor to act on the children’s behalf sooner rather than later, I do think that considering the parlous state of children’s services all over the UK they will be happy for the children not to go into care, a loo the children’s ages mean they can make their wishes known, good wishes to you all.

I am so sorry to hear of your sad family situation. Lulu, do ask a solicitor who is used to handling this kind of case for advice. It may cost money, but knowing exactly where you stand will be worth it.

Your eldest grandchild will soon be 16, and I very much doubt that a sixteen year old will be forced to live anywhere where he or she does not want to, after all you can still marry at sixteen in Scotland, can't you?

But consult a solicitor about what constitutes an unfit guardian, because if your grandchildren's father contests their mother's will regarding guardianship, you may well have to wash dirty linen in court, so make sure what you can put forward as grounds for him not being eligible and how to word it, so you are not sued for defamation of character!