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Grandparenting

I don’t know what to do

(54 Posts)
MrsSharples Wed 26-Mar-25 03:47:44

I’m so tired of being daycare for my grandson. He was kicked out of daycare and I’ve been watching him for the last five months four days a week 6am until 4pm while both parents work. I’m so tired and burnt out. I just want to stop. They are not even trying to find a new daycare for him. I’m getting very depressed. I love the little boy but am not a happy grandma that he deserves. I do my best playing and chatting with him. I don’t know what to do. I wish I could just go to sleep and never wake up.

GoldenAge Sat 29-Mar-25 11:03:13

Mrs Sharples - some great advice is coming your way here. My priority would be to speak with the parents and establish exactly why your gs was 'kicked out of day care'. Is this really true and if so, you have your solution which is that you can't look after a child who trained people were unable to manage.

Do the parents pay you? If so they are believing you're doing the job that trained people couldn't - if not, they're taking big advantage of you.

But it's not that easy to say no, so take the advice offered of feigning doctor's orders for a complete break from work for a long enough period that the parents must make alternative arrangements.

alluringlevelsoshamo Wed 02-Apr-25 22:52:07

Ziggy62

Big hugs

I was a NNEB nursery nurse and loved my job but gave up childcare when I was 57. It's exhausting looking after a small child even part time never mind the hours you're doing.

I'm sure you want to help the parents out with offering childcare but those hours are crazy.

Could you suggest they find alternative day care and you have him part time to help out. Easter is a bit too soon, maybe give them until the end of March

Do they know how you're feeling?
Surely being with an exhausted granny isn't best for the child either, you could start off explaining this to them first

Thinking of you xxx

It sounds like you really gave a lot of yourself to childcare, and I can totally understand why you would feel that way after all those years. It's such a rewarding job, but it can definitely take a toll, especially when you're juggling long hours.

I think your suggestion of offering part-time help while encouraging them to explore other day care options is really thoughtful. Giving them a bit more time to figure things out could help ease the pressure on both sides.

It’s important for them to know how you’re feeling—after all, your well-being is just as important, and you're right, being exhausted yourself isn't the best for anyone, especially the little one. Having an open and honest conversation could really help set some boundaries and expectations that work for everyone.
I hope everything works out smoothly for you. xxx

alluringlevelsoshamo Wed 02-Apr-25 22:55:32

Shelflife

6am till 4am four days a week¡!!!!???????
This is absolutely out of order, I have voiced my opinion about this on GN many times. I am also NNEB trained and loved my work, I offered one day a week child care . I have had my three children , love my GC but they are not my responsibility! Too many GPs in your situation being a burnt out, this is not encouraging a sound relationship with your GC. Your last scentance indicates you are well and truly at the end of your tether - of course you are!! The parents are wiping the floor with you , tell them NO MORE. Explain you want a proper relationship with your GC , where the children have a happy and loving GM. You don't deserve this , stand your corner in a firm but polite way. They must take responsibility for their child, quite simply this is not fair.

You're absolutely right, those hours are completely out of order. It’s beyond reasonable, and I can understand why you’re so frustrated—especially with the toll it's taking on you. I also think it's so important to maintain a healthy relationship with your grandchildren, one where you're able to enjoy your time with them without feeling burnt out.

Your advice to set firm boundaries and be clear with the parents is spot on. They need to understand that you're happy to help, but there has to be a balance and respect for your time and well-being. You’ve already given so much, and it's more than fair to expect them to step up and take more responsibility.