Grandchild hits me and excludes me

Is there a new baby in the house? My little grandson went through a phase like this when his sister was born. Lasted about six months. He soon grew out of it.

Parents shouldn’t make a child kiss someone. I don’t think I’ve ever kissed or been kissed by my grandchildren ( but then I’m not a huggy kissy person anyway)

I agree children shouldn't be forced to kiss people, they need to learn respect for theirs and other people's bodies.
Having sad that my GKs are very huggy though it isn't forced.

Hitting and scratching are just another side to the same coin- what do parents say about this?

Also why should the child be jealous? You don't give a reason for thinking this.

Saying goodbye and kissing someone are two different things. He could be encouraged to acknowledge you’re leaving as good manners without insisting he kiss you. Has anything changed at home recently? Does he go to nursery? It sounds as if he’s reacting to something which may have nothing to do with you.

cornergran Tomba has carefully not mention if it’s a boy or girl grandchild I wonder why you ve presumed it’s a boy
Isn’t it interesting that violence and boys go together so completely in some peoples minds
To Tomba I would wait and see, little ones can change like the wind just carry on doing what you are doing stay consistent don’t force any kisses or hand holding etc as you are already doing and hopefully it will all change Does the little one interact with playing with you what about a little toy now and then something they will look forward to finding when they come ( nothing big though)

Tbh I wouldn’t worry over much, and certainly not react to his/her behaviour.

Play it cool, it will soon pass.

Ignore it will pass! However his / her parents should not insist on kissing!!!!

My GC used to hug me round the knees - until they grew taller and now I have to stand on a box to hug eldest GS!
However the littlest two (6 and 3) have gone through a phase of “No duddles !” (Cuddles) and give me high fives - lethal, but I pin a smile on.
It’s only ever a phase so even if you have to be content with a wave and a smile, this too shall pass.

I agree kissing and hugging is not something that should be insisted on.
However surely the child should be calmly told that their behaviour is not acceptable.

Difficult situation but I agree a child should not be made to hug or kiss. When I was a Child I did not like having to do this with my Parents older Aunt and Uncles who we saw infrequently and did not really know them. It stressed me out!

Mum is pregnant and has terrible sickness [HG] and so I have been a lot more involved and trying to keep pressure off Mum.

It sounds really upsetting, especially since you’ve had a good bond. If they’re fine when you’re alone, it might be jealousy or feeling overwhelmed around others. At this age, big emotions come out in hard ways. The love is still there — they just can’t always show it yet.

Try not to worry Tomba. My DD (now25) used to kick my Mum, her Grandma, at that age and a bit older. I was upset and embarrassed at the time. She grew out of it and loved her Grandma very much.

Of curse your grandchild does not hate you. But terrible twos can run into the threes and your gradchild is a sea of conflicting emotions that they cannot control.

You are being very sensible in not insisting that the child kiss you.

All you need to do is stay calm and equable with the child and treat them with the same calm whether they are kicking off or being delightful. They will gradually grow out of it.

Between 2-4, my DGS made it absolutely clear that I was of no account. He had a grandma who lived round the corner, while I lived 200 miles away. On the other hand, my companion grandmother was a widow and my DH was the only grandfather. When we arrived he would do a body swerve around me to get to his grandfather. I was ignored. Around the age of four he began greeting me with the pleasure he greeted DH and my companion grandmother. At 15 he is a lovely boy and we have lots of long conversations setting the world to rights.

Apologies tomba. I didn’t read carefully . Not making assumptions or judgements. Just used to lads and thinking about one of ours. Thank you for pointing it out bluebelle.

Boy or girl I wouldn't be happy with being hit or scratched.

I don't think it means she will grow up to be violent, but I do think it needs nipping in the bud. I agree about the kissing though.

I would guess that something is bugging the child, and not necessarily anything directly connected to you.

It could be anxiety about the prospect of the new baby, and the protective focus on the child’s mother, her sickness etc..

I’d try to play things down regarding the pregnancy, if possible.

Thanks all. Nice constructive advice. Will wait it out.

Don't pretend to the child that you don't care when they hit you or are unkind to you. You may even cry if you feel like crying. Children need to learn that others have feelings too.

It does sound like the child is anxious with mum expecting and being sick. Her behaviour towards the child has probably changed. "You're the big one now"
I was worried that my toddler would bash the new baby but he was lovely with the baby but kicked me!

Your 3 yr old will grow out of this phase.

Caleo

Don't pretend to the child that you don't care when they hit you or are unkind to you. You may even cry if you feel like crying. Children need to learn that others have feelings too.

At this childs age, I utterly disagree, they are having prolems enough dealing with their own emotions, to be faced with the adults emotions is just too much.

Children at this age need to know that the adults in their life are secure and to be relied on.

yes, children do need to learn that other people of all ages have feelings, but when they are distressed is not the time to teach them this.

I don't remember either soliciting or encouraging signs of affection from any of my GC. I think they must have taken their cues from their parents. Is your family given to displays of affection? Kisses aren't everything, though a bear hug from a large teenager leaves me slightly stunned! As adults they are uniformly affectionate with granny - and 3-year-old DGGD is no exception.

Tomba

Have a good relationship with Mum and normally with 3 yr old grandchild but has started shouting at me aggressively and occasionally hitting or scratching me with a look of hate on their face. While out together alone have few problems. Is it jealousy? Does not want to kiss or hug goodbye and I would not with to force this but parents say child should say/kiss goodbye.

Three year old? Wait your grandchild will be pleasant again.

Don't force hugs and kisses.

Ask, pleasantly, for GC to quit hitting, scratching, shouting.

My gd started hitting people when she was about 3 which my dd was really worried about. She hit one gm who responded it would make her cry and gd thought that was very funny. When she tried it on with me I demanded to know if she had tried to hit me and when she replied she had I told her she was not to do it again and she didn’t. As with regards to nursery school she soon grew out of hitting people so I think it’s a phase that some children go through. Just be firm that they should not do it and wait for them to grow out of it. Don’t worry about hugs and kisses.