Growing Up!

Personally I’d sit down and watch tv with them. All kinds of conversation comes up.

Or subscribe to an online games site like Boardgame Arena and play together on your phones. Why that is better than an actual board game I don’t know, but it is 🤔

Or just leave them to chill out so that they are happy and relaxed at your house.

I was recently staying with a friend. Her two GDs came back from school and just went to sit in the lounge- their GPs left them to just chill out. They were waiting to go off to dancing class.
I spoke to them for a few minutes and they seemed keen to chat but there were no activities. They didn't seem bored either. I think it is important to have down time too- teaching kids how to chill out and relax is just as important than having do things all the time.

I would let them watch tv or use their phones, it is what they want to do and need some time just to do what they want after a day at school.

Our ten year old just wants to chill after school either with tv or a game he plays alone. He’s had enough of interacting with people. After his tea he becomes more sociable. I can understand the need for his own space being created in this way. He’s not bored, just managing the day.

When I came home from work I craved a bit of ‘me time’. I’m an introverted extrovert and after a full day of performance, interaction and general availability I had often had enough.

The life stage the family was at sometimes made this impossible, but I would never knowingly deny others the chance to ‘decompress’ if they need it.

I think that adults have to be there (with all that that entails) for children, not the other way round. I love board games but my children most emphatically do not😂. They humour me at Christmas but otherwise I’m on my own.

It’s called ‘growing up’.

Plus by the time they are the age the OP quotes, they are moving on from primary to secondary school. And the GP’s just aren’t quite so interesting as they were when the children were younger.

A bit sad, but part of life.

They are moving towards puberty and being teenagers. This kind of behaviour goes with the territory.

Even the attraction of a dog palls at this age.

I think you'll find most grandchildren don't want to be organised, let them chill and do their own thing, they'll soon ask if they want you to do something with them, or take them somewhere

I really would just let them do their own thing even if that does involve looking at a screen. Otherwise they will start dreading coming to see you and your "detailed plan" of activities.
We have our 15 year old GS living with us while he does work experience. We told him from the start that if he wanted to chat with us that would be lovely but if he'd rather disappear off to his room that would be fine too. It's working very well

My grandson and I used to make Lego buildings. We have actually constructed a whole street of different houses, which was brilliant fun. The hours flew by. There are some very good kits available, but they are not cheap. However, given the price of other things you can buy to entertain children, I consider it to be brilliant value for money.
I tried to attach a photo but don’t know how successful it will be!

I should add, my grandson was a teenager when we constructed this, he was about 14 or so, but there are kits for younger children too. We also made up a bouquet of Lego flowers!

Wonderful Lego buildings. Such lovely shared memories captured in them.

Thank you Aldom. I think doing something like that with a child or grandchild gives a great base for a loving and lasting relationship. I have always participated in both my daughters’ all four grandchildren’s hobbies (when asked!) and it does bring you closer. Of course, it helps that I love crafts! Maybe those who don’t could suggest something else that grandparents could do to amuse their charges.

Oops! My daughters’ AND all four grandchildren

My minded children who come after school are 7, 9 and 11.

They mainly like the television, and something to eat.

The 9 year old girl in particular will do some diy crafts eg paper, pens, pipe cleaners, beads, sellotape, wooden spoons and forks.

They all like a jigsaw and we often have one on the go, I have a couple of the big cases you can make the puzzle in and store the unused pieces.
This is our most recent one: 1000 pieces, Toys through the Alphabet.
It took a few weeks to complete as they (and I) would do it a bit at a time.

That's a lovely jigsaw. My elder daughter loves jigsaws and always has one on the go. Neither of her grownup sons take after her. I only do them on the iPad. I think she got her love of jigsaws from her dad. They often did one together when she popped in. I loved watching them together.

Thank you Crossstitchfan.
This is the new one we're doing next: "A Year in Great Britain."

eddiecat78

I really would just let them do their own thing even if that does involve looking at a screen. Otherwise they will start dreading coming to see you and your "detailed plan" of activities.
We have our 15 year old GS living with us while he does work experience. We told him from the start that if he wanted to chat with us that would be lovely but if he'd rather disappear off to his room that would be fine too. It's working very well

My 10 year old grandchildren go to their rooms almost as soon as they come home. It’s just part of growing up. As they become older they will be busy with their own stuff. My 15 year old grandson and I play games when he feels like it. Backgammon and cards are favourites at the moment. Our favourite activity is going to the coffee shop and having a drink, cake and chat.

Just sit back and enjoy their presence.

I think school is such a ‘full on’ day frequently children just need to decompress for an hour or two.

V3ra

Thank you Crossstitchfan.
This is the new one we're doing next: "A Year in Great Britain."

That is gorgeous and will be challenging to do. I have never really liked ‘proper’ jigsaws, preferring ones on line but I could be seriously tempted to get back into it to do this one!
I hope you have a wonderful time doing it.

They're nearly teenagers,normal behaviour. Just be there and ask what if anything they would like to do? Maybe they just enjiy chatting with theur friends etc. Agaun NORMAL.... Just need to ride it out

Our teenage grandsons used to come after school for tea but sat glued to the tv , so in the end I sat with them watching squash games ! Felt they preferred to go home after school to their own house so stopped coming . Sad, but as many point out they grow away from you . Luckily we still have a five year old who finds us fun😎

I think it's a natural progression, they have a lot going on in their lives. I regard my role less of an integral part now than when they were younger more of a peripheral role. One is a teen and much quieter than she used to be, the other who can still be very chatty at 11 may not stay that way. Of course phones don't help it impacts on interaction but it's part of the world they all inhabut.

It makes me sad when kids have to be permanently entertained, what happened to the days when they used to make their own fun.