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Grandparenting

How far is too far?

(74 Posts)
Foxgloveandroses Sun 17-May-26 17:45:58

Does anyone live 35 to 40 mins drive away from their adult children and small grandchildren. Would you say this is a bit too far or does it feel about right?

Fallingstar Sun 17-May-26 17:58:45

We live 2 hours away from one DD and GC, slightly less away from our other DD and GC, and our son and other GCs are in Australia.
I would say you are extremely lucky if you live just 35/40 mins drive away.

Cossy Sun 17-May-26 18:02:18

Hi just one grandchild, he’s 11, they live in Hertfordshire and it takes over 1.25 hrs on a good day, yes it would be lovely to live closer, but it’s not the ends of the earth.

My elder son lives in Bristol and has no intention of ever moving back to Essex and if he ever starts a family (unlikely) we will be 5 hours away by car.

Our other two daughters are looking to buy their first properties locally, so if they have children (they are both lesbians) we will be close by.

Tbh, I’m just grateful my children live in this country not in Australia or NZ!

keepingquiet Sun 17-May-26 18:08:47

Two GCs a four hour drive away which I don't attempt and only travel by train.

I see them really only in the school holidays and sometimes not even then.

One GC lives much closer- a 30 min drive now on Sundays and I consider that close by. Her dad has just taken her home. I see her every week and it is wonderful.

BlueBelle Sun 17-May-26 18:10:56

One in NZ (30 hours door to door) one in Europe a 3 hour journey to the airport an hour and a half flight and a hour the other side ( plus lots of hanging around) and then one nearby
It is what it is

BlueBelle Sun 17-May-26 18:12:26

In answer to your title question, no where is too far as it’s their decision where they want to live in adult hood

Bumble3 Sun 17-May-26 18:15:47

One grandchild so far, 2 hours away. See him once a month or a bit more.
If the others have kids they are likely to even further away but I can’t do anything about where their careers/ partners are.

crazyH Sun 17-May-26 18:32:18

It’s a real blessing, luck and great comfort to me, that my 3 DC, their families and the extended families, all live within a 15 - 20 minute drive .
However, they have their lives and I have mine. I probably see them on an average once every fortnight.

Magenta8 Sun 17-May-26 18:36:21

I am not sure why you are asking Foxgloveandroses do you want to move closer to them or do you think they should move closer to to you?

JamesandJon33 Sun 17-May-26 18:39:38

We live 5 hours from our Gds. Now they are at university we don ‘t see them often.

SueDonim Sun 17-May-26 18:45:15

Three flights + drives equalling about 18hrs to one set. 10-12hr drive to second set. Seven minute drive to third set. 5/6 hr drive to fourth child, no GC there, though.

twiglet77 Sun 17-May-26 18:48:02

I live 20 minutes from my eldest, two hours from the youngest, and 5000 miles from the middle one!

lixy Sun 17-May-26 19:11:31

Too far for who?

We live 10 mins from one AC, 40 or so from the other and happily do Grandparenting duties for both. Now they are older GS1 and GD1 travel by train to our nearest station to save us the drive on occasions too.

Deedaa Sun 17-May-26 19:21:04

One set live five minutes away by car, but I'm usually picking one of them up from the school train which is more loke fifteen minutes. The other one is either staying with me or with his mother which is about twenty minutes away.

JaneJudge Sun 17-May-26 19:49:58

BlueBelle

One in NZ (30 hours door to door) one in Europe a 3 hour journey to the airport an hour and a half flight and a hour the other side ( plus lots of hanging around) and then one nearby
It is what it is

Yes ❤️

grumppa Sun 17-May-26 20:14:42

Both pairs of DGCs live three minutes' drive away, in opposite directions.

Cabbie21 Sun 17-May-26 20:20:39

Four miles and fourteen miles.

Cabbie21 Sun 17-May-26 20:23:16

Posted too soon.
Delighted to have moved so close, not that I see them that often.
They will move on, as far away as they choose, it’s not for me to say.

M0nica Sun 17-May-26 20:32:38

It has never been something people had any choice over. Life seprates people or brings them together depending on multiple fators.

Our son and family live a four hour drive away. He is tied by his work and, now he is married his wifes family connections, we have commitments and friends and other family close to where we live.

i do not think there is any right or wrong distance, just what life presents us with and we adjust to deal with it.

Chardy Sun 17-May-26 23:08:03

Mine is 55 miles away. Late at night it only takes an hour and a quarter. However as part of the journey is on a notorious motorway, you have allowed 2.5hrs minimum.

Foxgloveandroses Sun 17-May-26 23:24:55

Thank you everyone, I might have confused people with my post though.
Magenta8 sorry I don't think my question was very clear.
What I mean is I currently live 5 and 6 hours away from my adult children and grandchildren. We are planning on moving closer and have our house on the market.
I would like to live 20 and 35 mins away from our daughters due to this town ticking all our boxes.
My husband is in agreement but is also slightly swayed by moving just 10 mins away from them.
Does anyone have experience of living 30 to 40 mins drive away?
Does this prove to be an advantage because it means you have a bit of a buffer so you can also live your own life as well as enjoy your grandchildren?

vegansrock Mon 18-May-26 06:59:34

You can “live your own life” wherever you are surely? One of my DDs lives 5 doors away in the same street, we see her and partner ( no kids) quite frequently passing by, but sit and have a chat maybe once a fortnight. One DS lives a 5 minute walk away , we see them far more as we do school pickups regularly for their little ones. One DS lives 15 minutes away , they have teenagers doing exams so we maybe see them once a month for a cuppa, same for eldest DD , 1,5 hours drive away with teenagers at uni and all have busy lives, as do we.

keepcalmandcavachon Mon 18-May-26 09:23:29

Hi' Foxglovesandroses, I think I would want the 'buffer' to be the other way and move 10 mins rather than the 35 mins if the chance arose. So very much easier for helping out with school pick ups, babysitting and meet ups.
I think the 'living your own life' comes down (on both sides of course) to being clear about expectations and discussing things, rather than the actual amount of miles.
Personally I'd live next door and put a tiny gate in the fence for someone to crawl in for cuddles grin

Allira Mon 18-May-26 09:26:34

BlueBelle

One in NZ (30 hours door to door) one in Europe a 3 hour journey to the airport an hour and a half flight and a hour the other side ( plus lots of hanging around) and then one nearby
It is what it is

Yes!!

M0nica Mon 18-May-26 09:43:13

We have ended living, not close to our grandchildren, who are now flying the nest anyway, but a 5 minute drive from single daughter. Despite that we do not live in each other's pockets.

She is at hand in an emergency, but otherwise we speak on the phone on occasion, whatsapp a lot and meet up, at least briefly, most weeks, but not all.