soops kindly kitcheners and perfect pampered pets.

I am very odd - I like cod liver oil

??

My dear friends, it is with a very heavy heart I feel I must bid you all adieu.
I have had a very difficult and upsetting day with H when I have had to come to terms with my future.
He is 80 and as fit as a fiddle apart from his memory being measured in seconds and his understanding being zero.
I have to do everything and I am quite weary and dispirited.
I am dealing with " toilet mishaps" hygiene issues and many other things I am having to take in my stride.
It is difficult to be upbeat and read about what I now consider trivial matters when at one time I enjoyed such threads.
To you all dealing with such difficulties I send my very best wishes and please continue posting about frivolous matters, I have enjoyed reading and posting about such things myself and life is to be enjoyed.
I hope to recover my own sense of humour, it has carried me through some dark times but has deserted me now temporarily. I hope to catch up with you all again and send you all my very best wishes and very fondest thoughts xx

ann oh no please don't go. If we were near enough, and it would help you, I'm sure we would all be there for you. Not explaining myself well I know, but please stay with us. You don't have to post regularly or even at all, just tell us you will pop in for a sit down and a scream when you want to. Several of us know what it can be like in a situation like yours. Are you sure it's not time to think of residential care for H? They can't force you to sell your house to pay for his care - it is your home. And I believe you are still allowed £10,000 before they start making deductions on any benefits you receive. Life can be so unfair, giving you the biggest burdens when you have the least strength to cope (((massive hugs))) Who's going to sing 'Nobody loves a fairy when she's forty' with me next Christmas Panto if you go? xx

Ann, don't leave us please. We all care for you! Please get more help from either social services or the Alzheimer's Society. You need to look after yourself as well as DH!

Dear annsixty, I do have some idea what you are going through (though only second hand as it is my dear brother). My SIL also had to deal with all the problems you mentioned and it wore her down completely. Most phone calls ended with tears and her spirits like yours were very low. My brother too is (was) fit as a fiddle and had no previous serious illnesses until Alzheimer's took hold. My brother became grumpy, moody, unmanageable and very difficult to deal with. In the end, with great reluctance, my SIL agreed my DB should go into a care home.

I believe (as far as I can tell) that he is content there. He is well looked after and is comfortable. My SIL visits several times a week and he always smiles when he sees her and hugs her. I think if you had asked my SIL 6 months ago how she felt she would have said she was at the end of her tether. Constantly in tears and exhausted with trying to cope. Life held nothing for her and she was very depressed. I went to see her last week and she was just like her old self. Laughing, chatting, going out, meeting friends and enjoying life as much as she can.

I feel greatly for all you are going through at the moment and maybe worse times are to come but I write this to encourage you to think that hopefully there can be more happiness for you in the future and some peace will come into your life again.

Please try and stay with us in the kitchen, even if you only pop in from time to time. I know most of the thread is lighthearted and when you feel very down it is difficult to cope with the frivolity of others.

The truth is ann however cheerful and silly we are on this thread, all of us have problems and worries in our lives. Sometimes it helps to share with others and get some support and other times we keep those things to ourselves. We do not really know each other in real life (with a few exceptions) but I believe the caring and thinking about others is genuine enough. I hope you don't mind but I will mention you in my prayers tonight and I wish you well.

Whatever you decide to do we will still be here. Please stay if you can but if not come back soon xx

Agree with the above posts. Please don't go Ann. Hope this is just a temporary blip while you are feeling low. Yes it probably is time for more help now. Just come on here and have a moan whenever you feel like it. Just keep posting. Please?

Just read and agree with your lovely post Crafting

OH has PD and related Dementia , he also has very stiff arthritic knees and is now chair bound , I have carers coming in to deal with toileting , but the washing feeding etc is down to me , DD1 is such a help . I come in here to read the lighthearted stuff and do the Word games to take my mind off it all , so please don't leave It is a safety valve to have a distraction and people to talk to xxxxxxxxx

Aggie?

hugs]

Just popped in after Christmas family invasion, GSs staying for a week and a horrible cold. Wanted to see the new kitchen and catch up. So sorry for your situation Annsixty. You sound at the end of your tether and desperately needing some help. It must be so difficult caring for your husband and seeing him become so changed. and ((hugs)) for you.

X posts Aggie. ((Hugs)) for you too.

(((Hugs))) for aggie as well as Ann.

What a good post Crafting, Ann please read it and consider the wise words.

Annsixty (((hugs))) I agree fully with Craftings post.

Do not leave, even if you feel you cannot find the time or energy to post regularly, there will be lots of us thinking of you, and can offer words of encouragement or just ask for a virtual hugs if you feel you need one.

Soop's kitchen is the place to come when you want something like this. It's when you are feeling at your most stressed you need someone to talk to or just to rant at. Don't lose those contacts at at this difficult time.

There's no way I could better the thoughts expressed by crafting and others ann. As many of us do I have experience of this horrid disease, although not quite in the way that you are. It would be sad to know you weren't in the kitchen but you must do what is right for you. If you withdrawn for now you can always come back. Whatever your choice may be I hope it is OK to send my love, to keep you in my thoughts and to wish you well.

Ok here is something that might make you smile. Littlest DGS is a year older now, but just look at those lovely rolls of puppy fat.

His four year old brother has lost all of his and is looking quite wiry now, a real boys shape.
They are growing up too fast.
Photo by his mum.

Aw! He's gorgeous !

Wow, Nellie! he looks so cuddly!

I do hope that Ann pops in and that her world looks a little brighter this morning.

Having promised soop a photo of Kiwi, here he is!

Oh annsixty, you really are carrying such a heavy burden and I can understand how you feel. However, may I also ask you, respectfully, to reconsider as you would be missed very much should you leave.

Thinking of you and hoping you can get some help with your DH as it sounds as though you are in dire need of it.

Morning all, I've just had a chance to read back some of yesterday's posts. Oh Ann, what a hard time you're having just now. I'm so sorry you're feeling so low with all you have to face. I've only "known" you a short while compared to others here, but already I respect and admire you for your tenacity, honesty and humour in the face of horrible circumstances. I hope things are a little easier today and you feel able to pop in and say hello x

Ann your post brought tears to my eyes and I don't know what to say to you except to echo what others have said on here. Even if you don't feel you can read or post at the moment, you know that others are thinking about you and all the difficulties that you have to cope with. .

It will not be quite the same in the kitchen without you ann although I understand totally why you feel it is right for you to go.

The nice thing about the kitchen is that is has a swing door- so there will always be space for you here ( cant guarantee we'll save you cake but that's the way the cookie crumbles .

Take good care of yourself, you'll be in my thoughts.xx

Ann, don't go, please. I have pm'd you.

annsixty so sad to hear of your situation. ? I have not been in the kitchen long enough to get to know you, but I wish you some improvement and greater support.

And hello to Kiwi, a truly handsome addition to the kitchen. Went to see Manchester by the Sea yesterday. So enjoyed seeing the Massachusetts scenery I backpacked around last year, although so pleased I went in the summer months! Would be interested to know what others think of this film.

I won't be around the kitchen much today as its warm and dry out there so sweeping, raking, weeding and generally tidying up the veg beds and stuff.