I'm feeling really miserable today. I had all three of my grandchildren over the weekend. (more chemo for dil It was hot hot hot, they were hard work all the shopping and preparation, shopping for packed lunches, washing school uniforms. The youngest left me little notes saying "love you nanna'" lovely but made me feel guilty at my occasional grouchyness. I feel a proper failure. My husband was grumpy probably because he was tired, but I just don't need to try to keep reminding him of why we have the littleuns. The top of one of my feet is really sore and a bit swollen so running up and down the stairs to help wipe a little bottom hasn't helped nor has five hours in the park.or watching all three's swimming lessons for two hours the next day I feel as if all my fears of not coping when the going got tough are about to be realised. My son told me yesterday that he'd been told that he "must face up to the fact that his wife is terminal" so went into school to tell them that his wife is ill and the time is coming to tell the children at the very least the affect of the treatment on her. I don't really want any sympathy I'm feeling sorry enough for myself. I've ate a whole packet of Rolo's and left over MM's and I'm suppose to be trying to loose a bit of weight. My son is starting to look disheveled.He really reminded me of my father today and that took my breath away. I hope if the time comes he handles a disaster better than he would. I could wail honest I could. Worse still I feel so horribly guilty, who am I to whinge and whine when it's so much worse for her and her family. I really need to pull my self together
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