Touching a stranger's baby

I think she was well out of order touching the baby, ok to speak (I wouldn't criticise the parents though!) but I also understand how you feel about your friend as I have similar feelings about a friend of mine who does and says things I wouldn't dream of.

I would be nervous of going out and about with a friend like that.
One day, somebody will take real offence - touching a baby!
I wouldn't dream of it, let alone criticising the parents into the bargain!

She was definitely out of order. I think I would rather be without a friend who tries to dominate no matter what shared memories we had. When walking around the supermarket I will often smile or wave at a child sitting in the trolley but would never ever touch him/her.

I wouldn't, but I'm not a baby person. And I'm wasn't bothered when people came up to DD and touched her chest or head or cheek. Bit more annoyed when they would come up and grab her hands and feet as a newborn because her hand would be in her mouth a second later. In that situation I'd be more annoyed with what she said than what she did, it wasn't on for her to criticise the parents. My mom and nan both do things like this and I walk away when they speak to strangers in public.

Worst thing that happened for me was a woman who spoke to us and was playing with DD and stuck DDs hand in her mouth! I pulled her away and said 'don't do that to someone else's baby', probably came out ruder than I intended but it shocked me someone would do that! Especially when you see a lot online these days about how the virus that causes cold sores can be so easily transmitted to children and cause meningitis.

I really must make an appointment with Specsavers. I read the thread title as 'Torching a stranger's baby.'

I don’t think shared memories are enough to justify this relationship, your friend really doesn’t sound like a nice person.
Put your time and energy in to creating new memories with kinder friends.

Now that really is a step too far, Merlot

Merlot

I often misread thread titles e.g.

'What shall we call our kitten' (whatever you like luv, as if anyone is interested in your kitchen, as I keep reading it)

'Moving to Gosforth' (well Newcastle is lovely but I don't know how that will help anyone moving to Hampshire)

Totally unacceptable.

She will get told off severely one day.

No, never! Nor would I touch someone’s dog or or speak to their child without their indicating it was ok to do so and speaking to them first. The only exception would be if the baby/child/dog was in danger.

(Although I am occasionally known to pass the time of day with a dog if it approaches me first)

Riverwalk. I thought hampshire too... and again, as for naming the kitchen; whatever you want.

She sounds rather unpleasant, especially commenting "poor baby", and I too think it was out of order for her to touch the baby.

I do stroke other people's dogs and talk to children if they initiate the conversation. It hadn't occurred to me that some people might not like it.

I almost can't believe it. I could not be friends with that kind of women even if she was the last person I knew from my school days.

I'm sure that many people would not know anybody from their growing up days - I'm one of them. It really isn't a good reason to stay friends with someone as toxic as this woman. Give her the flick - I'm sure you'll feel better to have her out of your life.

I sometimes smile and say hello to babies or yound children if they look at me and the motgers usually smile back. I wouldn't touch a baby though. However I was at the playground recently with my GD and was on the other end of a seesaw when another little child came up and wanted to go on it so I lifted him on (it was a safe one). I thought Oh dear I shouldn't have done that! and when the mother came up I apologised. She smiled and said That's ok, thanks for helping him on. Phew!

Thank you for all your replies. Some of you have said that I should stop being friends with her. A few years ago I actually did have the nerve to put the phone down on her when she was upsetting me, and I followed that with an email explaining how I felt about the way she treated me. There was no reply and I felt huge relief. The rift lasted about two years, and I never saw her anywhere because we live an hour and a half's drive apart. But then my son died and she heard about it from my aunt. The very next day, without warning, she got in her car and drove up to see me to say how sorry she was. And I did appreciate that she did that. (She can be very caring as well.) And so we started seeing each other again.

Have you explained to her that these days she’s likely to get herself into trouble by approaching babies/children without their parents permission? Perhaps she’s just not noticed that things have changed since the days when a mother could leave a baby outside a shop and if it cried, some passing lady would rock the pram until mum returned and no offence taken. I know someone who has a heart of gold but is so self confident she would likely do the same as your friend. After all she knows she wouldn’t harm the child and would assume that even a stranger would know that!

NfkDumpling I should have done what you say, but the opportunity didn't seem to arise afterwards.

She had no right to either touch the baby or give comments to the parents.

Seems a very dominant woman and very dangerous in these times of blame and claim she could get into trouble even just verbally if she's not careful. I work with children and it's a different ball game now with parents who can turn at the drop of a hat when roused about anything!

No never ever, I often talk to older babies as they seem to have the habit of staring at me and then either smiling or laughing and mums don't mind this but touch no. I would suggest building up new friendships and dropping this one.

Social media is great for staying in touch with old school friends. I live abroad so never visit my home town but in your position OP, I’d keep friends like that at arms length and just keep in touch via the internet or even just swap letters.
No need to meet up if you don’t want to.

Outrageous of your friend to touch the baby and indirectly criticise the parents. Maybe it’s time for another email to her. Don’t break off contact if you don’t want to but say you are uncomfortable with her behaviour

Who needs a friend like that. You admit she dominates you so why tolerate her. ? I would not touch another persons baby. I certainly would not want a stranger to have touched mine.If she wants to do it then one day someone is going to put her in her place and it will happen but it is not your responsibility.She is a dominating person and that sort are never in the wrong.
You say after you ended the friendship she came back to you on learning of your bereavement and the friendship resumed. You do not owe her anything. Do you really need her ? ask yourself. The ball is in your court.