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jo cox loneliness

I've lost my rings.

(79 Posts)
BonnieBlooming Wed 08-May-19 13:17:09

I know that compared to some of the issues people are dealing with this is nothing but I seem to have lost my wedding, engagement and eternity rings. Since losing a lot of weight they have been very loose and I don't wear them everyday. They usually sit on a wee ring stand on my dressing table and I noticed on Monday they were not there. They are not so loose that they could have fallen off and I never take them off outside (eg when washing my hands). We have spent two days taking the house apart looking for them. All the obvious places and all the not so obvious but no luck.
I dont care about the value of the rings but it is our 40 anniversary in August so they have great sentimental value.
What is also upsetting me is that my DD gave birth to a much awaited baby boy on Monday night and at a time when I should just be overjoyed this has cast a real shadow.
I have said to myself that it would be much worse if I had lost a person, they are just rings, but I feel so upset.
Has anyone had this experience? How did you come to terms with it? I suffer badly with anxiety at the best of times.

lovebeigecardigans1955 Wed 08-May-19 13:24:56

Hello Bonnie I do feel for you. Yes, they're only rings, not people, but they matter to you. Have you a garden? I found one of my rings on top of the compost heap which was a relief. Have you gone through all your pockets? I do hope that you find them.
I'm ring-less at the moment as I had to have them cut off in A&E when I had a fall - it's been over a year now. After I've had my teeth fixed I may get the rings repaired, though I fear that they'll never fit again and new ones may be cheaper. Good luck.

J52 Wed 08-May-19 13:26:08

How upsetting
As you’ve lost all three, it sounds like you’ve put them somewhere safe. I’d search handbags, pockets, little bowls or boxes.
Sometimes, if they’ve been put on the washbasin they get stuck in the soap.
Hope you find them soon. Congratulations on the baby grandson.

genie10 Wed 08-May-19 13:39:35

I do sympathize. Some years ago I lost my engagement ring, which had great sentimental value. I remember wearing it when I went out but didn't notice it was not on my finger for many hours, during which time I had visited many places. I still feel sad that it is gone, even though like you, I tell myself it's only a ring. I hope yours will turn up soon.

Luckygirl Wed 08-May-19 13:45:32

Oh that is such a shame - I would be upset if it were me. As a previous poster said, the fact that they have all gone AWOL together implies that they are all in the same place; and that you probably took them all off at the same time for a very good reason. Maybe try to think back to when you last know they were on your finger; then work your way forwards, thinking what things you did, where you went etc. - and you may come to an activity when you would have been likely to take them off, which will give you a clue as to where they might be.

I wish you lots of good luck with this search.

EllanVannin Wed 08-May-19 13:46:51

It sounds to me that all 3 are together somewhere. Maybe inadvertently put in a drawer if you were interrupted in some way---phone/doorbell/sudden callers. It's easy to forget where you've put things if there's been a distraction.
Foot of the bed ?

I'd feel dreadful if that happened to me as it was bad enough when I lost an old but pretty Victorian earring with a peridot stone drop never to be replaced, but with rings I'd be very upset, especially those which hold sentimentality.

maryeliza54 Wed 08-May-19 13:58:28

We found my dds engagement ring in her glove - have you worn gloves recently -it’s been a bit cold

Vonners Wed 08-May-19 14:18:50

Just before going out one evening my fingers seemed swollen. Hubbie suggested taking my rings off - felt odd but was worried fingers would swell more. As far as I could recall, I left all 3 rings on the dressing table. Next day there were only 2. Hunted high and low including dressing table drawers which had been closed at the time. Months later I was turning out my jewellery box and noticed a raised section for holding rings had come loose. Fetched some glue, pulled it completely apart and there was my engagement ring!!! No idea how it got into that space - the jewellery box had been on the dressing table at the time of the loss and possibly had been left open. Ran downstairs, hubby said 'you've found your engagement ring' - he could tell by the look on my face. So don't give up Bonny Blooming, they will turn up. As you have lost all 3, I feel ou (or someone else) has put them somewhere which seemed like a good idea at the time. Or maybe we have spooks/ghosts..............

PamelaJ1 Wed 08-May-19 14:25:20

My mum found her engagement ring in the passenger door well of her car months after losing it in the house! She blamed my dad. He’d only died about 12 years previously!
My friend found a small bag of jewellery when her DGC knocked over a small book case.
I never did find mine but consoled myself with the knowledge that I still have my husband and he’s much more valuable.
I like my replacements better!!

fizzers Wed 08-May-19 14:30:52

my elderly mother lost her two rings, she accused my sister of taking them, and then she claimed someone broke in during the night to steal them off her finger ( she was suffering from dementia) shortly after she passed away, when we were in the process of clearing the house, I looked in a carrier bag - I don't know what possessed me to look inside it, but there they were

B9exchange Wed 08-May-19 14:31:56

As long as no-one else has been in the house, you will surely find them. Any grandchildren been around? We lost the summerhouse keys, searched high and low, had to pay a fortune for the locksmith to come out and fit new locks, then found DGS had put them in an empty spec case!

My engagement ring had got thinner and thinner and one day I noticed it had gone. Never found it, DH helped me design another one, and the jeweller refused to hand it over unless DH promised her he would to take me out to dinner and give it to me properly!

My mother's rings were stolen by the cleaner, taking advantage of my mother's admission to a nursing home for dementia. Insurance company would only pay new for old or give a very minimal sum, so we had them created again. They don't have the same sentimental value of course, but I wear them thinking they are the same as my mother would have chosen, and that is some comfort. I really hope you find them soon, but if not, your insurance company should help out?

mosaicwarts Wed 08-May-19 14:49:23

Have you used handcream recently? Might you have taken them off and put them in the 'handcream' place whilst putting the cream on? It's the only time I take my rings off.

My husband died in May 2016 and we were going away in December - I didn't want to wear my rings as I was volunteering somewhere that I'd be using shovels etc. I hid them .... and only found them this year! In my daughter's Ugg boot! I now remember kneeling in my bedroom sorting my jewellery out and had to rush out somewhere - popped the rings into her boot by the bedroom door and then forgot for two years!

Calendargirl Wed 08-May-19 15:51:52

Do so hope you find them. As you know, worse things happen but I would be devastated if I lost my rings. But as others have said, it sounds as if all three are somewhere in a safe place. I lost our passports some time ago, not the same as rings I know, turned the house upside down and eventually found them bottom of the tea towel drawer! I had popped them there before going to work, clean forgot about it. Taught me a lesson, now really try and put things away in there proper place immediately.

Purpledaffodil Wed 08-May-19 15:59:59

Maybe obvious, but do you wear rubber gloves? I lost two much loved rings and found them in the fingers of my rubber gloves. Good luck!

Scribbles Wed 08-May-19 18:10:16

I thought I'd lost my wedding ring and cried all night. The next day I found it wedged in the finger of my oven glove.

Moocow Wed 08-May-19 18:14:26

Pockets in cardigan or coat worn recently? I know what you mean but I'd feel exactly the same. Hope you discover them soon.

leyla Wed 08-May-19 18:28:22

Lost my wedding ring - I was, and still am, absolutely gutted. Husband has replaced it with a beautiful eternity ring which cost several times more than my wedding ring as we are older now and have a bit more to spend, but I would trade it in an instant for my wedding ring.
I noticed it was missing a year ago and constantly wonder if it might turn up. I don't think it will though.
All I can say is that it is only a 'thing' and what is really precious is your happy marriage and your husband. You will start to feel less traumatised over the next few months.

Grandma70s Wed 08-May-19 18:53:26

I lost my mother’s engagement ring, which I always wore. It was a few weeks after she died. I was devastated, and although I told myself it was ‘only a thing’ I knew it was hugely symbolic. I kept thinking that she kept it for sixty years and I had managed to lose it in a couple of weeks. Searched everywhere in despair.

Then I found it lying in the driveway. It was white gold and sort of matched the paving. And of course a ring is a tiny thing. It was always a bit big for me, and it must have slipped off when I got out of a friend’s car. Oh, the relief!

Buffybee Wed 08-May-19 19:38:04

Have you looked inside all the little pockets in your handbags?
My friend "lost" hers and then realised that she had put them in her bag while out one evening, worrying that they might fall off.
She had searched her bags but I searched again and found them.
I'm convinced that you have put them somewhere and they will turn up.

MiniMoon Wed 08-May-19 22:58:25

I arrived home from school one day to find my mother in tears. She had lost her rings. I asked what she had been doing that day, and her answer was ironing. I went through the pile of newly ironed laundry and found the rings neatly pressed into the folds of a sheet.
I cried for days over the loss of a necklace.
When looking for my lost driving licence (never found that), I searched all the pockets of my handbags. My necklace was in a small pocket of one of them.
I do so hope your rings turn up. You'll probably find them in the most unlikely places.

Feelingmyage55 Wed 08-May-19 23:08:47

Look in the vacuum bag.

janeainsworth Wed 08-May-19 23:43:19

I lost a little gold necklace that didn't really have any sentimental value, I had treated myself to it when we first went to Hongkong in 1974. But I wore it most of the time.
I suddenly realised it wasn't where I'd thought it was, turned out all my little boxes & couldn't find it. I couldn't understand why I was so upset about it.

A few months later we went to stay with DS and family in America. After a couple of days, my darling DGD said to me 'Grandma! I've just remembered I've got something for you!' She delved into her little trinket box and there was my gold necklace which I had apparently left behind on the previous visit. She had been keeping it safe for me all that time.

Bonnie I do hope your rings turn up. It's a horrid feeling to have lost something so precious.

1inamillion Wed 08-May-19 23:50:38

Bonnie I'm sorry to hear that you've lost your rings. Having lost all three is very distressing for you, however there is a good chance that you'll find them if you've lost them at home. They may turn up in the lost unlikely place . I do hope so.
I lost my wedding ring thirty years ago while swimming in the sea off the coast of Spain. I realised I'd losi it back at the hotel, went back to look but the sea shelved down quite steeply and there was little chance of finding it. To make matters worse, a wave knocked DH off his feet and he lost his glasses. I was so glad I left my engagement ring at home.
We bought another ring, but we married in church and the original ring was special for that reason.
A few days ago DH's cousin in Ohio put some photos on a family Whatsapp, and there one of a 23 yr old me wearing my new ring, I cried, I don't mind saying.
I'm sure yours will turn up.

BradfordLass72 Thu 09-May-19 05:46:51

Grandma70s I've heard of street paved with gold, but a drive way paved with white gold is amazing grin

absent Thu 09-May-19 06:08:53

Do you have a traditional dresser with hooks for cups? My Ma hung her engagement ring on such a hook – back in the 1930s – and when someone lifted down a cup, it fell into the pocket of an apron. My mother always said, "If you had been in service, try explaining that to a policeman".